Angel Baby
by Violet Hyena
Summary: The Winchesters find out that angels do not reproduce the same way as humans. Castiel explains that his vessel is not pregnant, his grace is simply splitting to make a new angel. But, even the best laid plans sometimes go awry, especially when Heaven is involved. (Destiel. Sabriel. Asexual reproduction. Mpreg. Thursday updates.)
1. The Fruit of Heaven

Full Summary: The Winchesters find out that angels do not reproduce the same way as humans. Castiel explains that his vessel is not pregnant, his grace is simply splitting to make a new angel. But, even the best laid plans sometimes go awry, especially when Heaven is involved. When the Apocalypse is nigh and Castiel is running out of grace, Dean takes it upon himself to take care of Castiel and the new angel and ends up learning how much the angel means to him. Sam on the other hand, must make amends with his own angel.

Tags: Destiel, Sabriel, Mpreg, Angel Reproduction, Asexual Reproduction, Parthenogensis, Alternate Reality, Top!Dean/Bottom!Castiel, Top!Gabriel/Bottom!Sam.

Sabriel: More on the Sabriel back-story will be a continuation from my story Back to December. You can read it or not read it, it shouldn't matter for this story, but it's there.

(The Above was added 6/27/2013)

I do not write male pregnancy very often. Mostly because there's got to be good reason for it. popping out new characters are never my goal. So when I write it, there's generally a good reason/theory behind it; and so much has branched from this. But, as Cas will repeat, his vessel is not pregnant; but it falls into being tagged as mpreg.

I know there are many people who steer clear away from mpreg, and I completely understand. If you can not tolerate mpreg, please go find something else to read.

I was playing with this idea while re-watching season 5. I was exploring the concept of angel reproduction; because they die, and in theory there must be replacement for the dead, correct? It was going to originally going to be just that, and then it would be an super sad ending because of how Heaven would work with that. And then it branched off into Destiel as I was researching because of reasons (It was going to either end sad two ways or happy another. And I dislike sad endings). I hope it has come out tastefully and I'd like to get feed back.

* * *

(Halloween 2008, It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester.)

Castiel didn't want to explain his condition to the Winchesters. He strongly wanted to not speak to anyone about it. He did not even wish to speak with his garrison about his participation of the growth of Heaven; so to speak. Yes, battling his way into Hell with tactical maneuvers was well said on his part. He reached Dean faster. Ripped him from torturing faster. But Castiel did not want to be 'rewarded' for it. Being by Dean's side to assist him was enough reward, because as crass as Dean was, he found the human fascinating in his way of thinking and speaking; from a soldier's observation strictly, of course.

Heaven was gracious enough to suspend his natural reproduction for most of his existence; as with most soldiers. Because fighting while engorged with grace may have sounded more empowering, but in his case, Castiel would rather not participate with grace at all. But this line of thought was blasphemous, so he spoke not of it.

Uriel, while Frank and humorous, was cruel in many cases. After Uriel met the Winchesters about the seal of Samhain, He let slip the infernal words, "Castiel's not quite in a condition to be on the field, so babysitting a couple of mud-monkeys is appropriate for this situation." Castiel wished his comrade had not used the word 'babysitting', because in hindsight, it lead to an assumption that the humans would not let go of.

After Uriel took wing, Dean looked to Castiel, who was still there in the sub par motel room. Castiel was still new to his interactions with Dean, but he could already tell this current emotion was one of Dean's favorites; Anger, or frustration.

"What condition?" Dean's eyes narrowed at the angel, face tight with suspicion. Castiel mulled over the words to explain in plain human. But what could a human relate to reptiles, plants, and angels? Humans had their own mammalian way of repopulating, and angels had theirs. Dean was actively impatient, "Are you hiding something that will screw us over, Cas? 'Cause I seriously have had enough dicking around by junkless there. I don't need it from you too." Castiel wondered briefly if Dean was aware of the irony in his previous statement, but now did not seem the time. Sam was watching Castiel with equal unease and narrowed brows. And Dean made Castiel feel... Feel - which was a new sensation in his being to begin with. Castiel did not want to wade through two difficult experiences at once; one of human concern and one of angel concern. Dean made him _feel_ bad about keeping anything from him and Castiel did not want Dean to be suspicious of him; thus he was compelled to speak. He chose his words carefully.

"I've been chosen to carry out a duty of great honor and pride of Heaven." Castiel felt a little like he was required to say this, but he certainly did not feel honored or full of pride. "I'm replete with grace and in a few months will render a new soldier of Heaven." Dean's face softened, but only in a way that his jaw jutted out and he squinted at Castiel, as though confused.

"What do you mean, render a new soldier?" Sam's brows were raised, processing what Castiel said instead of hitting a brick wall. Castiel appreciated that Sam's vocabulary was up to snuff.

"Angels are naturally fecund." Castiel folded his hands behind his back, trying to explain it to a species which has never experienced such a thing, "It happens on it's own over time, a cycle of several hundred years. Normally Heaven's will suppresses the phenomenon because other wise there would be a surplus of angels. Only in times of war does heaven allow strong and worthy angels to reproduce. I am... filling with grace as we speak, to make a new angel-"

Dean suddenly moved, standing straighter, pointing at Castiel. 'Reproduce' seemed to me the magic word for Dean, "You're pregnant? Are you pregnant? Do not fucking tell me you're pregnant." Castiel's head reared back, brows lowering.

"I'm not pregnant." Castiel said and Dean let out a relieved breath, shoulders dropping, "It's called severance."

"Severance?" Sam asked, seeking out clarity.

"Yes, I'm creating a new angel for Heaven." Castiel said simply, "There is no gestation or frailty to my condition."

"How..." Sam waves his hands in Castiel's general direction, because the two strips of information he'd gotten was 'growing grace' and 'new angel', "How?" and Dean did his pointing gesture again.

"Did you get angel boned?" Dean asked directly and Castiel did not appreciate that it tied in with the 'junkless' and 'dicked over' comments that Dean used earlier, "Man, you're not even in a chick body..."

"I'm not pregnant." Castiel repeated tersely, "This body is just the human vessel I'm using to communicate with and full fill my duties on earth with. My grace is growing so that in several months from now, it will be severed from me and there will be a new angel." Sam blinked, surprised and Dean's eyebrows lifted.

"That sounds painful."

"So you did get boned."

Castiel had indeed heard the final moments were blindingly painful. After all, his grace being ripped nearly in HALF. If nothing else it would be jarring and debilitating for at least a few minutes, if not hours. Angels in severance always retired for Heaven for the moment of weakness. But Heaven predicted the war of the seals to be over long before his severance's end. The brood from the angels going through severance at that time would replace his brothers that were lost in the battles. Castiel hoped to prevent the Apocalypse before he was in his moment of weakness.

"I have not had occasion, Dean." Castiel admitted quietly.

"Then how the hell are you making a baby angel?" Dean scratched his head and Sam lifted a hand towards the angel.

"Wait, Cas, are you saying that you're reproducing asexually?" Sam inquired suddenly and Dean glared at his brother, as though he was not speaking English.

"Yes, I believe that's what humans call it." Castiel conceded with a nod.

"Wait, what? So Cas just spontaneously impregnated?" Dean threw his hands up in Castiel's general vicinity.

"Well, asexual reproduction isn't really the same as getting pregnant." Sam walked over to his bag in the motel room they were at and he took his computer out. He popped open the screen and started it up at the table. Dean's eyes lingered on Castiel until Sam tapped his brother's arm to direct him to the screen. Sam had pulled up a site on the motel wifi, "It's when there are offspring inheriting only those genes from the parent. Mostly one celled bacteria or lizards do it. But um... considering angels are actually light and energy, I suppose they do it too." Sam looked back to confirm it with Castiel who gave a slight nod.

"I believe you've put it best in human terms." Castiel was glad the streak of confusion was lifted from Dean's face, but the man was still looking at Castiel with some perturbation. His shoulders were still tight, eying Castiel with his judgment, "This will not change anything." The words were bitter on his tongue. He left the Winchesters with that, his wings took him outside; all hallows eve slowly setting in on the land. Little children were running around in costumes and tugged the hands of their parents, shaking cauldrons of candy in their small hands.

Castiel's eyes lingered on the small, fragile humans. They looked happy. As did the adults, even if they were not dressed as silly as their children. Castiel's fingers gripped tighter in his hand and then slowly relaxed in resolution. He sat invisibly next to to an active house giving out handfuls of candy to children, regardless of how terrible or wonderful the costume was. It was achingly heartwarming.

* * *

(I admit, I used a dictionary for some of Castiel's words, because he was being SO picky.)


	2. The Mandate of Heaven is Absolute

Thursdays are gonna be my official post date for this story; cause I'm off Thursday and also, it's Castiel's day. I am limiting how much I post because it is only half completed (already 55k words, largest story I've ever done so far.) Once it's complete I'll be able to post more at a time.

(This chapter happens before Wishful Thinking, 4.08)

* * *

Most angels would understand if Castiel did not wish to talk about his severance. It was taught once or twice in basic training, and the knowledge hung in Heaven in case any angel chose to gain more information, but Castiel was not interested in the logistics any more than he was in basic training. He understood it was natural. He understood that there was nothing to do to prevent the outcome. But he minded, even though he was not meant to.

Castiel turned his mind to the growing consciousness that beat in the back of his mind. It was barely a hum; but it was there. That hum that was the existence of an angel. Where Humans had souls, angels had something unnamed. Castiel just liked to think of it as consciousness; that part of an angel where the personality and memories were. And now there was one forming from him. It was there, but sleeping until its time of awakening.

Castiel tucked it safely into the back of his mind. The months would pass by quickly enough. It would be over and then he could return to his regular duties.

Castiel wrongly assumed what he'd last said to Sam and Dean would be the end of the matter, because Dean decided to bring the subject back up after Samhain had been put to rest.

"So is this a nine month process?" Dean asked, gesturing to Castiel in the next motel room; in the middle of the next case. Dean was sitting half sprawled in a chair at the table, which was piled with books. Castiel was not sure exactly what process Dean was referring to since he had already said severance would not change anything.

"The Apocalypse is not time based." Castiel stood in a space with no furniture in the middle of the room, hands folded behind his back.

"I meant the baby angel." Dean rolled his eyes, as if it was obvious to what he was referring to.

"It is not a baby angel, it is a new angel." Castiel corrected, "New angels are nothing like newly birthed human children."

"What ever. How long before you pop?" Dean eyed him with less suspicion now after their talk in the park. Castiel wasn't sure if he felt good about that or not. It made him a little uneasy actually. Dean obviously still did not trust him very much, but there was less open hostility.

"I believe, roughly 17 months." Castiel's eyes lingered on Dean, who was more relaxed after the first shock of Castiel's condition; but Dean still sat up when he heard how long his severance would be. Sam was also sitting at the motel table, which was stacked with a couple books and papers. He glanced up momentarily from his computer, brows lifting to take in both Castiel and Dean with surprise

"17 months?" Dean repeated, as though making sure he wasn't hearing things, "That's almost twice as long..."

"As I said, this is not a human pregnancy." Castiel spoke slowly, "I'm already a month and a half in." He remembered it was shortly after raising Dean and mistaking that the Righteous Man could hear him. Castiel was sent a messenger from Heaven to inform him of his started severance. He had been surprised, he had not even taken a vessel yet. Dean had barely been out of Hell for a day. His brother angel informed him with a sympathetic touch that he was chosen to start the new brood of Heaven's military force. There was to be a new entity of grace, separate from his own being, but from him. It was half of him that was going to be ripped from him. Castiel frowned, "Dean, I do not wish to discuss this." Dean returned Castiel's frown with his own after quelling his surprise.

"Where the hell does it come out?" Dean persisted anyway.

Castiel pursed his lips, with holding a sigh. "I'm not pregnant, Dean."

"How else am I supposed to ask it? Answer the question." Dean folded his arms, leaning back in his chair with brows draw close, "I don't want you dropping in the middle of a fight to give birth you know." Castiel lifted his chin ever so slightly. Dean was weary of things he didn't know about. Understandable, since Castiel too was learning about human things. Castiel would not want Dean "popping a squat" in the middle of battle either. Castiel took a slow, calculated breath.

"If I answer all of your questions, can you refrain from bringing it up again?" Castiel asked and Dean nodded. Sam gave up on the monster search for this conversation, which was much more interesting, "Then I will answer you questions."

"Okay, why the hell are you baking up a baby now?" Dean unfolded his arms and Castiel wasn't sure where to begin with the wrongness of that question.

"He means," Sam interjected before he heard anything about eating babies as he slowly closed his laptop screen, "Why now are you going through severance since we are in the middle of the a war between Heaven and Hell."

"Yeah, what he said." Dean waved a hand in Sam's direction.

"Heaven chooses who can and can not go through severance." Castiel stepped closer to the table, his hands returning to his sides. He supposed that perhaps since he wasn't on the field, defending the seals, his offspring would have a larger survival rate. "I have never been through the process. Most soldiers do not so we may focus on training. But since we're loosing angels in the war of the seals, there needs to be replacements. A repopulating if you will."

Dean grimaced, "Okay, creepy that Heaven is planning ahead for angel deaths. Even creepier that Heaven picks who breeds and who doesn't."

"Any other questions?" Castiel would have been happy to end the questioning there.

"Well, are you going to... you know, get bigger?" Dean continued, making gestures around his own belly.

"Well..." Castiel looked down at himself, his vessel, "I am, or, my grace is. It is becoming denser and growing. But I've never seen an angel with a vessel go through severance. I'm not sure if it will effect it at all." It was disconcerting to think about.

"Well where's the kid going to pop out?"

Castiel was growing tired of the line of probing questions. "Dean, it's not my vessel giving birth. It will simply... painfully, will be torn from me and become its own being. Do not worry about it happening in the middle of battle, I will be returning to Heaven before it happens. I will know when it's time." Castiel pressed his lips into a thin line, watching Dean process this, "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll have someone come in my place while I'm inhibited." If anything, that only made Dean more stressed, the lines increasing on his forehead.

"Someone like Uriel? Fuck, no thanks." Dean folded his arms across his chest.

"It's inevitable." Castiel breathed out and then slowly breathed in. The thought made it feel hard to breathe. The looming time was always on his mind. 15 months, 2 weeks was his estimation. He dreaded it.

"Can't you at least ask a lady angel to watch us." Dean asked, "damn more pleasant than having junkless watching over us." Sam nodded in agreement on that one. They both disliked Uriel.

"It won't be decided by me." Castiel ignored the lurch of offense he felt towards that statement, "And our vessels have very little to do with who is watching you."

"Creepy." Sam muttered, running his fingers down the pages of a book he was not reading.

"You're not going to get all hormonal on us, are you?" Dean inclined his head to the side, "Or start eating weird foods?"

"Dean, these are all human bound complications that do not effect me." Castiel glared and leaned over where Dean was sitting, "The only time it'll weaken me is in the last few days of severance and when I feel that, I will leave, and then I will return shortly after. Stop presuming that your human reproduction is anything like angels'." Dean's lips pursed, looking up at Castiel, who was looming over him now; tense and agitated.

"You're... okay, right? With this whole thing?" Dean asked cautiously.

Castiel leaned back, standing straight, remembering himself. His chest tightened. "It will be over soon enough." He backed away and Dean stood, his hand catching Castiel's shoulder and yanking on his trench coat. Castiel looked at the hand and stared back at Dean lifting his chin to level eyes with him. Castiel stopped out of courtesy, because Dean grabbed and punched when he was trying to express something.

"That's not what I asked, Cas." Dean had this look in his eye that Castiel had not seen before. Because Dean was normally resistant to him, or angry in general since Hell. He had only been out of the pit for a short time. Castiel rather liked Dean, but it was quite obvious that Dean was not fond of Castiel or his Apocalypse, "How can you be alright with angel pregnancy in the middle of war?" Castiel's lips parted and then closed.

"It is natural." Castiel spoke softly, "We are made for it. I'm not ailed by its presence." Dean didn't seem to believe him, his grip did not loosen for a moment and Sam looked poised to intervene, "Dean. Do you have any more questions?" Dean's grip loosened of it's own volition

"No." His voice was gruff and Castiel looked down at the shoulder that Dean had been holding to. The heat from Dean's palm dissipated. Castiel flew away, drifting down to a roof top and watched a small girl hold her teddy bear and joyously tossed a coin into a well with a fervent wish of a friend. Castiel placed his hands together feeling his own grace pulse. It truly wasn't the severance that unnerved him, but the inevitable that would follow. He didn't understand the look Dean was giving him. It almost felt like concern, the way Dean lowered his brows and stared with heavy concentration, as though trying to see what Castiel was hiding. Which was nothing. Castiel was acting like any other severance fated angel did.

Trying not to get attached.


	3. Angel Mill

Just a bit of the canon Dean/Anna. A small conversation that happened after they did the deed.

(Episode 4.10, Heaven and Hell)

* * *

The interior of the Impala was always a comfortable place at night. The night Dean lay with Anna in the back seat was no different. Anna was slowly working her bra back on; she seemed relaxed and content. Dean propped himself up by the door and watched her.

"You were an angel," Dean reminded them both after a moment of peace, "So you know about severance, right?" Anna blinked at him slowly with her large eyes.

"Yes, it's the way angels reproduce." She inclined her head curiously as she slid on her underwear, "Why do you ask?" Dean rolled the silver ring on his finger.

"Well, Cas is angel pregnant." Dean concluded. He knew Castiel and Uriel were looking for Anna and everything, but he couldn't be mad at Castiel for it. He more or less was putting most of the blame on Uriel; that pompous, prick-less son of a bitch. At least Castiel seemed to feel regret for it.

Anna's eyes widened, looking intrigued. She had not exactly seen Castiel when the angels had come by, so it was news to her. "Castiel is in severance." She mused lightly, brows creasing, "What odd timing."

"Yeah, in the middle of the Apocalypse. Like a damn puppy mill." Dean grabbed his own clothes and started to redress; underwear and jeans first. Anna gave a bitter smile, sliding her jeans on.

"I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising." Anna shook her shirt out, "Heaven is very strict about severance and who goes through it. Only select few are chosen when the numbers decline. The last time was when Lucifer fell." Her mouth tightened, "I asked to participate many centuries ago. I wanted to experience it for myself."

"Cas made it sound like a chore." Dean watched Anna slide her shirt on. Maybe it should have been more odd that they were talking about Castiel, the pregnant guy, after they'd had sex. But Dean couldn't get it out of his head and Castiel wasn't providing the generous amount of information on the subject that Dean wanted.

"It is... painful." Anna concluded slowly, leaning back in the seat and watching Dean. He hands were folded in her lap. "I heard it was like having your grace torn out. And believe me, once was enough. But... at the time, I wanted to, because I've heard talks from my brothers of what it was like to be replete with grace. The connection to someone that was so pure..." Her eyes turned upwards, a wistful smile on her face, "To feel growing life within you." She looked down at herself, her body, "It's why I chose a female body, really. It's the closest you can get to being in severance; being pregnant."

"So it is pregnancy." Dean was then felt very conscious about the used condom that was resting in a discarded can in the back floor. He used them religiously; no pun intended. He didn't want to leave some girl pregnant, or get the clap; Or worse.

Anna smiled, "No, it's not. But the result is the same. New life." She looked out the foggy window and traced a few patterns in the condensation. "they denied me severance. I think that's when I started watching humans more closely. I saw how wonderfully you care for your new born. They are so loved and all attention goes to them." She drew what looked like a swaddled child and Dean hid a slight grimace because it was in a manger and it was on his Impala window. But it was easily forgiven, because it made Anna smile. It was a sad smile, but it was still there. "I wanted that then. to make a family as a human. If the conditions had been right, that is."

"Apple pie life, huh?" Dean thought back to Lisa and Ben briefly. He could relate.

"Yes, sounded amazing. Exciting, actually. To raise a child. Nothing like severance. Heaven would only give me my garrison to look after and see as children." Dean scoffed, stopping Anna from her picture doodling.

"Yeah, cause Uriel is such a peach of a kid." Dean grinned when he caught Anna smile again, but her face grew solemn and tight in time.

"I wish Castiel well in his time." She admitted, "I know how hard it is for him."

"Well being angel pregnant is a big deal, right? Getting picked and all. And a kid." Dean smirked, "Can't see him with a brat running about."

"Mm." Anna hummed and closed her eyes, "I'm glad Heaven didn't grant my wish in the end."

"But it's what you wanted, right?" Dean's head tilted in confusion.

"But an angel in severance will be tethered to Heaven." She spoke distantly, as though thinking of something important and she touched her fingers to her own head and she looked to Dean again, "Now I understand."

"What?" Dean sat up more, finally grabbing his shirt.

"Castiel is your guardian." Anna said, "He rose you from Hell and thus they placed you in his charge. It would make sense that they began his severance in the time of watching you."

Dean's brow creased and he grimaced, "So what, since he babysits me, he insta-impregnates?"

"Because then they have much more control over him." Anna thought strategically, "Castiel will need to return to heaven for his split. For the birth, as you call it. It's the only safe plan." Dean didn't like the sound of that. It sounded wrong in so many ways.

"That's playing dirty." Dean finally concluded, "I didn't even know you COULD play dirty like that." Anna gave a bitter smile.

"It's how Heaven operates." She patted Dean's knee and leaned over, giving him a soft kiss. She then opened the door and stepped out of the Impala. Dean sat up to follow, finally putting his shirt on once he was out of the car. He hated the thought of anyone being put through something like that. It was even more devious because Heaven was pulling marionette strings on Castiel with a kid. If Dean did meet one of the assholes that decided that, he promised to find out how to kill them.


	4. No Shore Leave

Dean and Castiel talk briefly in the beginning of Castiel's severance.

(After episode 4.18, The Monster At the End of This Book)

* * *

Castiel appreciated the quiet about his burden. To Dean's credit, he restrained himself for three months. He was able to forget his own condition sometimes, giving him moments of peace. There were always looks; from everyone, but Sam and Dean were more obvious than his brothers. Dean had been through a lot the past months, with saving a seal, saving more humans, and torturing Alistair for Heaven. Castiel was pleasantly surprised Dean would talk to him still. But he felt he was dangerously close to Dean. He was very close to spending more time with the man; lending him his power more. Doing what he was cautioned not to do. And giving hints to hunters, who should not have had them.

But finally, it came up again, after Chuck stopped Sam from laying with Lilith. After Lilith fled and after Chuck was placed back in his home, the brothers could breathe for a moment. Dean and Castiel were in the parking lot; Sam was checking them out of the motel room. Dean was noticeably warmer to him, his usual tense shoulders were lax, eyes not as hard as the other times. In turn, Castiel felt himself relax in Dean's presence. And he knew he shouldn't be doing that; relaxing.

"You're actually getting flabby?" Dean pointed very close to Castiel's belly, which was more pronounced than when he'd first entered his vessel. Castiel often didn't pay much mind to how his vessel looked, but he took the time to notice when Dean gestured. It appeared that Castiel, in human terms, had put on a few pounds. It wasn't entirely obvious, but apparently it was enough to call Dean's attention to it. Castiel felt his vessel was going to be a snug fit in terms of grace to physical mass ratio during his severance. The body coped the best way it could, expanding in the most logical places.

"My vessel is coping with my increased grace." Castiel explained, feeling the new consciousness feeding from his grace. Heaven supplied him with enough grace for him and his new angel.

"Huh." Dean just stared, his face tensing in a way that was not anger or confusion. More like concentration, "Z'it a boy or girl?"

"Neither. An angel."

"Figures." Dean palmed the back of his head, inclining it to one side.

"You don't have more questions, do you?" Castiel dreaded more prying into his severance.

"No It's just..." a small laugh left Dean's mouth, "I can't imagine you with a kid."

Castiel was sure Dean meant that in a way that was not offensive by the soft tone in his voice, but it still felt lightning hit his heart; and it hurt, "Why?"

"Huh?" Dean looked up from Castiel's belly to his face.

"Why is it not possible for you to imagine me as a father?"

"Oh well... 'father' isn't exactly the word I'd use." Dean mumbled, but then continued normally, "But besides that? You've got this angry soldier mode on all the time."

"I am a soldier."

"Yes, yeah, I get it." Dean made upward hand movements, as though trying to get his point across, "But don't you get shore leave or something? A break? You're… making an angel and all, right?" Castiel appreciated Dean's attempt with using his words better. They weren't perfect, but the thought was there, "I get the Apocalypse is on the rocks, but this is a big deal." Castiel's brows and lips lowered, studying Dean.

"I know that children have a large roll in human society." Castiel's eyes drifted down to his swollen grace, "A lot of energy is put forth to teach them and raise them over several years. Angels are not the same." Dean frowned.

"So what, you dump the kid off at an angel baby sitter while you go work 24/7?" Dean shoved his hands into his pockets.

"No." Castiel said and then slowly repeated it, "No. There are no babysitters or schools. There is only training." Dean scoffed.

"No wonder angels are dicks. They were never allowed to be kids."

"Perhaps." Castiel turned away from Dean, looking over the empty parking lot, "Dean..." How to make the man understand? There was much more depth that Dean was not reaching.

Castiel pursed his lips suddenly, a warning whisper over the airwaves of Heaven. Since Uriel's death Heaven was keeping Castiel tethered, like an archangel to a prophet. It choked him.

"I just want to make sure you're not putting a little angel in danger or anything." Dean followed up after Castiel's sudden silence. Castiel glanced at Dean over his shoulder slowly.

"No. No danger." Castiel felt a little warmed by Dean's concern for children in general, but Dean's thoughts were still turned to the angel being a child, who would be nurtured and raised by the parent that gave life to it. Dean didn't know that Castiel wasn't going to keep it. Could not keep it, "It will be trained strong and become a great warrior, like all angels before it." Castiel looked back at Dean, but this answer didn't seem to quell something in the man. Maybe Dean could sense the wrongness in it but could not lay a finger upon it. Maybe Castiel had given enough hints to make Dean understand.

"Cas." Dean huffed, "Just don't... do anything stupid."

Subtly was lost on Dean, Castiel feared, "Of course."

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Don't forget to leave a nice comment, thank you.


	5. Dreaming of Angels

(4.20, the Rapture)

* * *

Jimmy Novak was Castiel's vessel. And yet, Dean found very little to compare the two. Jimmy was a hearty eater, very animated when he spoke, and actually sounded human; as in, normal everyday vocabulary and thinking patterns. Even his voice was different. Jimmy also didn't have the baby belly that Castiel had. It was gone. Dean had checked several times.

"Do you remember anything about being an angel?" Dean asked as Sam was cooling off outside. Sam was having such a fit about Jimmy going back to see his family. But in the end, Dean got it. He did. Jimmy's family needed to stay in the dark about it. To keep them safe.

"Besides riding a comet?" Jimmy asked, laying in Sam's bed since he wasn't going anywhere that night. Jimmy was still completely dressed; almost in quiet defiance about his staying with the Winchesters. His stomach flat, with no evidence of the severance in sight. Jimmy was back to being kinda skinny

"Well yeah. You, or actually, Cas is angel pregnant. And he's stingy on info." Dean sat on his own bed. Jimmy's head slowly tilted towards Dean, brows risen high.

"What do you mean, pregnant?" Jimmy looked at himself, concerned. He sat up quickly. "Is he doing things with my body that he shouldn't be?" Dean shrugged, feeling weird about explaining it when he knew so little about it himself.

"No, just, he spontaneously impregnated. It apparently doesn't affect you though." Dean watched Jimmy let out a relieved breath. Dean couldn't blame the guy. He'd be super creeped out if a pregnant angel was using his body too. Jimmy thought for a moment, looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't get a front seat show to what ever Castiel is doing." Jimmy admitted slowly, looking at Dean, "It actually feels like a dream and that he possessed me yesterday. Like I just woke up. But then I remember that it's been months instead of one night." He paused, but decided to divulge it to Dean anyway, "I relive a lot of my life in that dream. In weird patterns. Lately it's all been about my wife, Amelia, being pregnant." He waved his hand vaguely, "I'm not sure if it has anything to do with Castiel though."

"It might." Dean leaned forward. "Maybe the dreams are linked to what was happening to Cas. Any clues would really help out." Jimmy tapped his fingers on his knees, evaluating Dean, wondering if he wanted to trust him. Dean couldn't quite remember that look on Castiel. Castiel always just trusted him; like a strange, unwavering faith. It was odd not to have it, "Just tell me what you can." Jimmy sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Okay. I remembered a lot about Amelia being pregnant with Claire." Jimmy linked his fingers over one knee, "I know for a fact that she was happy about it, we talked about having Claire for years. But the dreams only showed me her bad days, when she doubted or feared... loosing Claire or..." He struggled with the words, "being taken away. It just replayed constantly in the dream. But it wasn't like that in real life." Dean nodded slowly, though he wasn't sure if that had anything to do with Castiel.

"What else?"

"There was a dream me. I talked to Amelia a lot, to comfort her. She's my wife; what else was I going to do? I did it a few times, but I think she only got more concerned with it." Jimmy scratched his fingers through his messy hair and then tried, in vain, to comb it out with his fingers. "And then, the most recent change was remembering when Amelia was being harassed at her job. And at that time she wasn't pregnant, but Claire was at my side. Amelia was being financially taken advantage of and I wanted to speak to her about it. About..." He paused, frowning, pressing his fingers against his forehead; as though struggling with the dream memory. "About how she needed to know and that she needed to stop it. About how the job was a big mistake." He sat up straighter, looking at Dean, "But before I could say anything, I woke up and you two were pulling me to my feet." Dean waited for a moment, leaning forward on his elbows to his knees.

"That's it?" Dean asked and Jimmy shrugged.

"Told you." Jimmy rubbed his eyes, as though he had a headache, "Has nothing to do with Castiel."

Dean ran his hands through his hair and sat up, grunting in frustration. He was no dream interpreter. Dean's dreams were pretty literal, but Jimmy's dreams were all about his family. Great, that didn't help him at all. Maybe Jimmy's pregnant wife was Castiel, but that didn't tell him anything about what Castiel was trying to tell him. Although Jimmy's wife, Amelia, was only thinking about what an awful pregnancy she was happening, and Castiel didn't say a word about his own bun in the oven. He doubted Castiel was fretting about it. Castiel was cool with it. Overly cool, actually. He couldn't quite figure out the part before they woke Jimmy up though.

Jimmy was watching Dean was he processed what ever it meant, "You're really concerned about him, aren't you?" Dean focused on Castiel's vessel.

"He saved my tail, on a couple occasions. I owe him." Dean thought back to Anna speaking about Castiel being tethered by his severance. "He's pregnant, whether he likes it or not, and it's not right." Jimmy's fingers drummed on the bed, face half buried in his palm. Dean noted the duller blue eyes that he knew he'd looked at lots of times, but he just knew it wasn't Castiel.

"Okay, let's say, in theory, that Amelia in my dreams was Castiel." Jimmy worked out slowly, "And maybe the dream me that was trying to comfort her was you." Dean thought about this and nodded because that made as much sense as anything else.

"Your dream, you interpret it, right?" Dean asked and Jimmy shrugged running his hand across the cheap motel sheets, "But then, Cas is really kind of freaked about it."

"Extremely." Jimmy nodded casually, "Always on his mind, fearing loosing it." Jimmy laid on his back on the bed again. Dean frowned.

"But then Cas is being taken advantage of..." Dean tried to reason out.

"I think the roles are switched," Jimmy said tiredly, "Because Claire was with me, and I was seeing Amelia being taken advantage of. So, Castiel was me, you were Amelia." Dean didn't really like being compared to Jimmy's wife too much.

"What does that have to do with a job though?" Dean scratched his head.

"I don't know." Jimmy admitted though a scoff, "Felt urgent though. That it had to be stopped. That you were being taken advantage of." Dean pressed his head to his hands. It was as though it was right there, on the tip of Jimmy's tongue. It was probably sitting right in front of them and Dean just couldn't see it.

"Shit." He mumbled.

"Sleep usually helps with problems you can't figure out." Jimmy tested the idea out loud. Dean pondered it. Maybe Castiel would pop back in to tell him what was up and clear this whole mess up while he got his 4 hours.

"Maybe." Dean agreed and waited for Sam to come back in before he announced he was going to sleep and hitting the hay.

Dean didn't figure out what Castiel was trying to tell him though. Dean himself dreamed of a strange world where he, Castiel, Lisa, and three kids were running around in the background with a kite at a park. Ben was holding the kite and two shorter kids were around him. Dean watched the scene from sitting on a bench next to Castiel and Lisa next to the angel. There was a barbecue and everything. Lisa and Castiel were talking as though they had something in common and Sam of all people was at the grill, arguing with some guy about veggie-burgers. There were other shadows of people, people he couldn't quite place yet. None of the shadows where dangerous though. Not unless you looked far into the background, where Dean always knew monsters were lurking. But the park they were in was apple-pie-life bright. The peace of it should have irked Dean; should have made him suspicious. But in the dream it was nice. It felt real. It felt right.

But Dean forgot it completely when Sam woke him up to tell him that Jimmy had vanished.


	6. It's Just Like Heaven

(Episode 4.22, Lucifer Rising)

(It is estimated that human civilization started about 11 thousand years ago, and I like to date the first war of Heaven then. Lucifer threw down with Michael, Raphael stayed on Micael's side, and Gabriel ran away.)

* * *

Castiel never knew he could feel such crippling guilt. Dean had asked him, again and again for his help while he was in the room Zachariah had made for Dean; full of beer and burgers. Dean asked him to be let out to see Sam. To stop the Apocalypse from happening. Dean asked him to help him, or they were through. All that had drawn them together would evaporate without a trace. Castiel stood outside the room, in the dank warehouse, holding his head in his hands. It was unbearable to think of loosing Dean and yet there was so much at stake.

Castiel wondered if Dean knew what he was asking of him. To help Dean. To go against Heaven. To directly disobey. Castiel had to leave after Dean turned his back on him, because he wanted to help. Castiel wanted to help. Every sense was screaming help Dean but every rational shred of logic and self preservation said to do the opposite. Because of his severance, it left a timer ticking if he survived. If he lasted so long, he would eventually face the fact that Heaven would find him, and take what was his. As he knew they always would.

Obey Heaven, the cardinal rule. Obey Heaven and everything would be paradise. There would be no need for the current rules to apply to severance in paradise. If they won. IF they won. If Heaven won over Hell.

"_Don't you see, Castiel." Zachariah reasoned airily after they had torn him from his vessel. "Winning this war, ending it all, will bring paradise to us. Just imagine. Heaven on Earth. Where angels are free to keep what they've created. It just brings all that needless suffering to an end. Where angels get to keep their offspring."_

It was fanciful. Castiel knew that. But Heaven was not to be for angels as it was humans; Castiel knew that. Heaven was for humans like Dean. For righteous men to live their afterlife in peace. And Castiel believed in Dean. He wanted to see Dean win, not Heaven. He wanted to be on Dean's side. It only felt right.

Castiel flew back into the room, stole Dean from under Zachariah's nose to Chuck's house. He was all too aware that he'd signed his death warrant then. And possibly the new angel's as well. Particularly when Raphael's power touched him and all Castiel knew was darkness.

* * *

(Approximately 11 thousand years ago)

Coming into existence was like taking a deep breath and opening one's eyes from a dreamless sleep. Castiel woke up like this, in a heaven that was lush with green trees. He was met with angels, 4 of them. He did not know what they were at the time, or even his own name at the time. But that was what he remembered. He remembered 4 strong radiant angels as as soon as he breathed. Three of them greeted him, and took him away from the fourth.

They flew him to another angel, one who was even more immense. He was intimidating, especially to a new being in the sterile, white-roomed place. The larger angel shushed him and Castiel's head was touched and he _knew_.

The knowledge was given to him by this immense being, called Raphael. And the knowledge was organized in importance: Castiel was an Angel of the Lord. Castiel's father was God. God gave life to Castiel. Castiel's duty was to Heaven. Castiel was to obey Heaven. His name was Castiel. Raphael was an Archangel, an absolute being... It continued and Castiel took a moment to look at himself. He was a being of energy, but he had form. He resembled the humanoids on earth, with legs, arms and with wings that were bigger than his central body.

Castiel learned of his own consciousness and grace. He learned that all angels were his brothers. He learned of the archangels; Lucifer, Michael, Raphael and Gabriel. He learned of Lucifer causing troubles around Heaven. Michael was in the process of organizing Heaven, to better it. Raphael was leading the soldiers and training them. Gabriel was an archangel more interested in human's residence than Heaven's functions. Castiel then learned of Humans.

He learned so many things; that for a human to process it, it would take nearly a life time. But Castiel learned it all right away. All of the angel basics and rules, downloaded for future reference.

Castiel remembered the fourth angel, the one he'd seen when he'd come into existence. He remembered the flickering light of consciousness the angel had had. But he could not remember the angel's face since Raphael bestowed knowledge unto him. Who ever the angel was, they were exhausted and no one had stayed to tend to him. Castiel grew concerned and asked Raphael, "Was that angel I saw God?"

"Of course not." Raphael replied sternly, as though offended by the question. "God is bigger than all archangels together. God gave you life through another angel, and God is your true father."

Castiel learned he was not to ask questions, just follow orders.

Castiel learned of severance then. He learned that he was the second generation of angel, descended from God. He learned that Michael had found a away to suspend severance, so that Heaven would not be over populated with angels.

He learned that he was a soldier. He was put through basic training, which consumed his thoughts for several hundred years until he was deemed ready. In that time, Lucifer had fallen, for turning a human into a demon. His betrayal to God and his brothers. Michael cast Lucifer down into a cage in Hell until the days of end; until the famed and glorious Apocalypse would come. And Gabriel, vanished from Heaven. Castiel had never even met the archangel apart from a distance. And after Lucifer had turned Lilith, Gabriel was no where to be found in Heaven.

He never learned who that fourth angel was, and every time he thought of it, there was a sense of loss. But then he was reminded that God was his father. God was all of their father. And all of these angels were Castiel's brothers.

Castiel witnessed angels in severance. They were beautiful. Their beings were vibrant and the sound of their grace was closest to the vibrations of a harp; which was yet to be invented on earth. The songs were peaceful and lovely. Their grace was thick and the angels grew double in size and presence.

Castiel knew an angel in his garrison who was in severance and he admired his brother for it. Uriel, had been chosen to go through his first severance by Michael himself and Uriel was quite pleased. He was only a few hundred years older than Castiel and Uriel had not expected to be allowed to go through severance. Their species was still young, like humanity. They were still learning everything.

Uriel was kinder then. He was witty and cheerful. He was a good fighter but was also was playful. They would often play in the heavens of the humans that died and Uriel favored the winter heavens, where pure fresh fallen snow was about and he could throw snowballs at Anna and Castiel. Uriel equally enjoyed watching the humans throw sticks and rocks at one another and laughed with fair teasing.

Severance made Uriel somewhat lazy during his time. He would shirk off training sessions and roll around in fields and explore the tundra in Heavens above them. Uriel was content with his severance and very affectionate. He would wrap his limbs around Castiel in perfect weathered heavens and Castiel would lie there, observing the happy memories of humans. Castiel enjoyed these shirking times and felt little guilt for them at the time. He could just close his eyes and hear the hum of Uriel's grace against him; like a lullaby. Castiel would smile because it brought him peace from thoughts of war. Anna (as an angel, Anna was a brother at the time as well) would often scold Uriel for playing around but Anna was not as harsh as he should have been. Uriel mildly teased Anna once for not getting the permission from Michael because Anna had asked for severance. But that slight jab was enough to have their superior fly away from them, full of rage and hurt.

When Anna returned with a cool head Uriel apologized, because their garrison was like a small family in its own rights and when something effected one, they all felt it. Anna was sour for a time, at least until Uriel took Anna into his arms so he could enjoy the hum of the new angel. It was the closest thing Anna could have to his own severance. They all bonded with each other during that time. Sometimes the whole garrison would go to this one heaven where the sky was raining and two lovers were kissing. For an angel it was so strange and new, but beautiful in its own way because it was not a love that angels participated in. And in that heaven, the soul mates had many children and loved them all. Castiel saw the glow of Uriel brighter at those times. After all, they were all enjoying the new angel's song, even before it had come fully into existence.

Their joy was not appropriate though. Three-quarters through Uriel's severance, Raphael found Uriel, Castiel and two other members of the garrison lingering in that heaven, observing a happy family. Raphael was disgusted with them, "What do you think you're all doing?" the archangel demanded, looking around at the four members of the garrison and then locked onto Uriel, who had been startled the most with Raphael's appearance. Raphael took on a look of contempt, "Foolish little angels should not pine for what they can not have. You should not get attached to that new soldier. Getting attached only makes it harder to let go of what you can't keep."

They were sent back to their post; with mercy, Raphael called it. They were not punished for being lazy with their duties right away. But Uriel realized his error. Maybe it had been the ignorance of the new world, and the angels were still learning about themselves. They had ignored the fact that in a few months, Uriel would no longer be in severance; he would split and the hum of the new angel would be gone.

The joy that Uriel felt drained away even while the rest of his garrison consoled him. He seemed to be able to cope the final few months. He did more watching of Earth than anything. He never returned to the soul mates in that heaven. He watched humans and started commenting on how foolish and pointless it was for all the mud-monkies. No one really told him to stop, but no one egged him to continue this discontent with humanity; even though it was partly blasphemous.

When the singing of grace ceased, everyone knew it was time. Uriel left the garrison for only 2 of Earth's days and he returned tired, and less radiant. No one else in the garrison wanted to approach the subject because Uriel had such of air of despair. But Castiel took it upon himself to console Uriel. Perhaps talking would ease Uriel's heart. He approached Uriel and spoke softly, saying the new angel sounded beautiful and that he was sure it was a beautiful angel as well. Unfortunately, Castiel must have said the wrong thing

Uriel flew into a rage that was like no other. He grabbed Castiel and started hitting him, screaming that he didn't have a child and that Castiel was to never mention it again. Anna was the one who yanked Uriel off of Castiel and restrained him. The only reason Uriel stopped fighting was when he cried out in despair and none had ever heard a howl so forlorn.

Uriel was never the same. Anna was never the same either. And Castiel guessed that he was never the same as well. Even after 10 millennia, Uriel never returned to his care free ways. He was so cold and bitter. He grew sarcastic and mean. Castiel steered clear of his brother, and most of the others. He grew to like his time alone, even from the other angels. The whole garrison was wounded from Uriel's loss. And incidentally the other two angels that had been with Uriel and Castiel that day when Raphael found them also went through severance with a few thousand years between each other. No one spoke a word of them. The singing came and went. Those months seemed longer than a hundred years at times. They were but blips in time to an angel. But they were painful. It, however, was less painful when Castiel closed his eyes and did not get attached to the prospect of new angels.

Castiel learned to not get attached.

* * *

A glimpse into the life of angels, and how severance affects every angel. Deeply ingrained into the angel culture.

(Yes, I had Uriel feels, and now you have Uriel feels. I never expected Uriel feels, but they happened.)


	7. Alive

Since it is my birthday, I'll be posting another chapter in a few minutes. Enjoy this snippet of Cas being not-so-dead until then.

* * *

Castiel opened his eyes, mind reeling from being blasted apart by Raphael. He was hypnotized by Earth's star and he stared right back at it; thinking for a moment that he was speaking to one of his brothers. He blinked as the circular ball of sun came into focus and he sat up slowly in a field of grass and the hum of insects, undisturbed by his presence. His hand went to his chest, where he found himself whole, his vessel intact. Then lower to where the swell of grace had gathered and thickened. He breathed a sigh of relief and stood. He searched for the consciousness that had been forming since the beginning of his severance and he focused on it, and it hummed back at him with strength. A brief gasp of relief escaped him and he swallowed it. The growing angel was alright; as alive as he was.

Dean... The last Castiel had seen of the hunter, he'd been sent to that church with Sam and Lilith. Castiel extended his consciousness, finding the hum of magic and he'd bet his wings that the Winchesters had cloaked their location. Brilliant. At least no other angels could find them, and they were alive.

Castiel looked at his hands, staring at them. He was alive too. What had he done? Rebelled against Heaven. Rebelled while in _severance_. It was suicide. It was treason. And yet, he was alive. So was the new angel. So was Dean and Sam. What did it all mean? By all logic, he should be dead and his grace dissipated.

God? Father? He glanced around and looked upon the sun once more, which was a warmer light than he'd felt in ages. It was welcomed as he waited. For anything. The only change of import was Dean and Sam's emergence into his consciousness and it was riddled with pain. Dean.

Castiel couldn't wait in that field. He took flight and rescued the Winchesters, killing two of his brothers and scaring Zachariah into healing the boys.

Dean was looking at him, as though he couldn't be sure if he was real or not. Castiel let out a long breath of relief; Dean was alive. There was only moments of reprieve.

"Holy shit, you're alive." Dean muttered, and his eyes fell down to the tell tale belly, "You're still... The kid's still there?"

"New angel, Dean. And now's not the time." Castiel chided briefly, but relief again flooded him like it had when he found his burden intact. Dean was alive, "but yes, everyone is fine." And then attention turned to the Apocalypse at hand.


	8. The Best Laid Plans Often Go Astray

(Between 5.03, Free To Be You and Me and 5.04 The End)

^_^ Happy Birthday to me. This is where the story starts getting fun for me. The real meat of it. And I really appreciate all the lovely comments you have all give me. It's always nice to hear what made your tear ducts spring a leak. Thank you!

* * *

_Trapping Raphael in the circle of fire was like caging lightning in a light bulb. He was an archangel and Castiel knew there was only a limited time to get answers. And the one that Raphael gave was not the one that satisfied him. And neither was Raphael's observation. _

"_God is dead." Raphael repeated with his voice full of knowing, with very little remorse, and pointed as far as the flames would allow, towards Castiel, "And so shall you be. If not now, then when the new angel is reaped from you. And trust me, we will train that one far better than we did you." Castiel looked down at himself, feeling his time nearing; closing in on him. More than any other time before. Raphael's voice sounded amused, "You knew from the start what would happen, Castiel. You've always known."_

"Okay, how the hell do we take care of a baby angel." Dean asked, the Apocalypse bearing down on their shoulders. Castiel looked up from his perch on the corner of Dean's motel bed. Dean and Sam had parted ways months ago because of the distrust Dean held towards Sam. Dean was working monster cases alone now, and he was well practiced in the art. Castiel couldn't say it was a wise move, but it was the brothers' decision none the less. It was not his place to speak about it. And trapping Raphael had not gone in their favor. If anything, it had made everything a little harder. Time was ticking, like an echo in his head. Time passed with Dean killing monsters and Castiel spent most of his time searching for God, only allowing him back to see Dean when Dean was in need of him. And Castiel always came when Dean called him.

"What do you mean?" Castiel met Dean's eyes when the hunter looked up from his stack of paper work. Dean did not do as well with research as Sam did. Castiel watched Dean struggle, even when Castiel did inform him of vital information.

"I mean, when you go through labor." Dean waved his hand and placed it upon the pile; needing a mental break from his job, "We'll have a baby angel. I mean, won't it burn everyone's eyes out? Do baby angels need vessels too? Are you going to be cleaning up cloud soiled diapers?" Castiel let his eyes fall shut, taking in and then releasing a slow breath. It was like Dean wasn't even trying to follow the correct vocabulary any more.

"The final moments of severance is called the split, and it will not be a child, Dean. And... We will not need anything." Castiel said slowly. Dean's eyes drifted back and forth, waiting for more.

"So, what? It takes care of itself?" Dean said skeptically, "Come on, Cas, don't leave me in the dark on this. You're how far away from that... split? That's what you call it, right?"

"Six months." Castiel looked down at his vessel. While Castiel did not take too much time to actually look at himself, even he noticed the expansion. The pronounced belly pushed his shirt from the suit jacket and was often more obvious when he stood. Dean mentioned sometimes that it looked like Castiel was getting a beer gut. Castiel was not concerned with looking "fat". It was ironic that his vessel was becoming more filled and yet his grace was being drained of energy.

"See! We have to prepare. You're already half way through and we haven't made any plans." Dean waved Castiel to come closer to the table to talk.

"Dean." Castiel strained the hunter's name in vain.

"Its an angel, so it needs a vessel." Dean persisted. Castiel's shoulder's drooped and he conceded.

"Yes." Castiel got up and took a seat next to Dean.

Dean was so determined; Castiel's heart was warmed by his concern. They did need a vessel, because the new angel was just that, an angel. Dean started going through places that would not have large populations, so no one else would loose their eyes. Dean asked about angel wards and Castiel was hesitant and disregarded them. For Castiel himself would not be able to stand them, nor would the new angel. Castiel searched out a vessel with his consciousness and informed Dean that there was one that lived near a supposed 'haunted house', where it would be fundamentally safe. Castiel would just need to convince the vessel to take the blazing new angel into their body.

"New angels send out a beacon to Heaven." Castiel sat at the table now as Dean was taking notes on the motel note pad. Castiel studied Dean's focused, narrowed brows, "Even with wards, the signal will reach Heaven eventually."

"How long can we keep them scrambled?" Dean looked up at Castiel, who was leaning in towards Dean; forgetting about Dean's 'personal space'.

"With hex bags? Maybe 5 minutes." Castiel pursed his lips, "At most."

"Fuck." Dean muttered, scratching something out on the pad, "That doesn't give us any time at all."

"I know." Castiel closed his eyes, focusing on the beating energy inside of him, "I will be debilitated. Useless. They will kill me."

"Fuck no." Dean leaned forward, fingers gripping Castiel's tie and suit jacket and Castiel stilled; unmovable. Dean was momentarily reminded that if Castiel didn't want to be moved, Castiel would not be moved, "Look." Dean loosened his grip, his anger melded into determination; which Castiel always found breath taking, "They're going to have to get through me to get to you or Angel Baby." Castiel pressed his lips together.

"Dean, the odds are not in out favor." Castiel took account that he was no longer connected to the source of grace and the new angel was continuously feeding on his last reservoirs of energy. He could not heal Bobby's legs, nor could he return to Heaven; nor nourish the new angel for the remaining months of severance. He was not sure what would happen then.

"They've never been in our favor." Dean wasn't backing down, as though his very will could alter reality and have everything fall into place, "5 minutes is plenty of time to get you out of there and drive. Angel Baby can get into the vessel himself, right? Then he can get in and we'll get out of there."

"He?" Castiel fixated curiously on the choice of sex.

"Well yeah. I know you're always saying it's a human thing, but fuck you I'm not calling him an it."

"... Angel Baby?" Castiel also fixated on that name.

"Yeah, you haven't exactly come up with a name, have you? It's a temp; I'm trying it out." Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel. Castiel looked down at his growing grace.

"I'm... tentative." Castiel's hand rested on the mound. He wasn't even sure why he did, he could feel the other angel's presence just as strongly as his own depleting grace. He would be as good as dead if angels found him after his severance. Names seemed insignificant in this scenario.

"Well it's Angel Baby until you think of something," Dean determined and it caused the slightest of smiles to appear on Castiel's face. It was so small, almost not even there.

"I will allow it for now." Castiel already knew he would tire of it soon.

"So glad I got your approval," Dean muttered and rolled his eyes. Castiel contently sat back as Dean was verbally going over things with Castiel, as though he needed someone to just nod and confirm his thoughts were on track. Dean was trying so hard. Castiel didn't have the heart to tell Dean that he felt the effort was futile. If he did not find God before his split, he would be dead; he was sure of it.


	9. Until We Bleed

This chapter takes place during 5.05, the End. Because I'm a sucker for End'verse. One of my favorite charters is this one. Be forewarned, there be sex in this chapter. Thank you for all the birthday wishes and stuff, I really appreciate them. :D Comments make me want to dance.

(Mood music: Andreas Kleerup - Until We Bleed)

* * *

Dean Winchester determined after one day in 2014, 5 years into the future, absolutely sucked rotten eggs. He couldn't sleep; his mind and body too wired. He was sure his more-dick-future-self was patrolling because he knew he would be on a night like this. A night before going to shoot the devil.

Future Castiel bothered him most of all. The orgy. The drugs. The booze. The yoga and zen thing were not far from believable, but the rest... Castiel was a mess. And Dean let himself out the door of the shack to see if he could find out what happened to his friend. He waved to future Chuck as he walked by and the man did a double take as Dean reached Castiel's love den.

"Wait!" Chuck hissed and flailed himself on Dean before he could reach to knock on the door. He was pulled away and Chuck caught the screen door before it slammed. Dean blinked as he was pulled along the side of the building.

"The Hell, Chuck?" Dean hissed back and Chuck's hands waved over his and Dean's mouth, exaggerating silence and he pointed up to the window. It took a moment, but Dean started to hear it from the open window. The sound of grunting and gasping of two people in the throes of passion. Dean grimaced. Okay, Chuck was nice enough to let Castiel get laid, finally. About time Castiel had some fun. Chuck's face was lowered and fiddled with his fingers. Dean was sure that if it was light out his face would be red.

"Dean..." A small wave of horror washed through Dean because that was Castiel's voice, and it was coming from that window. It was low and deep, fueled with heat and sharp movements. "Fuck, Dean, please..." Dean gave a strained look to future Chuck, who gave a small, awkward smile and lifted his hands helplessly and then moved away, towards the woods so they were not heard by the couple inside.

"I'm not..." Dean gestured towards the cabin as they saw it from up the hill, "Me and Cas... Him-me and Cas..."

"Every Thursday night." Chuck rubbed the back of his neck, unable to meet Dean's eye.

"Seriously?" Dean folded his arms, looking down at the cabin.

"You guys... they have a thing." Chuck looked back slowly to the cabin, having seen enough of it over the years and he leaned against a tree, "Been going on since the apocalypse started. Trust me, I ended up writing it." Dean did not even want to think about Chuck writing his porno. Dean's hands made an array of wide movements before he found words.

"Why?" Dean asked and Chuck gave him a wry grimace.

"Ah, Comfort mostly, I think." Chuck gripped his walkie-talkie in his hands, "And anger. And loss." Dean's brows touched as they lowered, his lips parting.

"What about Angel Baby?" Dean leaned against the tree, giving Chuck his full attention and Chuck had to think for a minute but Dean knew when Chuck remembered. Because Chuck looked down, a low, bitter breath leaving his mouth.

"You should ask Cas that." Chuck's head tilted as both of them heard the screen door shut with a slap. Dean looked down, seeing his future self pulling a jacket on and walking up the hill towards his HQ; not slowing his pace, and not looking back. Dean's eyes darted back to the cabin where he saw the silhouette of Castiel leaning against the door frame until future Dean was out of sight and then a few minute more, just looking out, only clad in a pair of loose fit pants. Then he backed out, closing the door with a faint click afterwards.

Dean waited as long as he could bear before he walked, not ran, down the hill to the door. Chuck didn't try to stop him this time; he just shook his head. He knocked sharply and there was a moment where Dean thought Castiel didn't hear, or wasn't going to answer before it opened and there was Castiel, as bare as Dean had ever seen him, down to a pair of blue flannel bottoms. Castiel looked him up and down as Dean did the same to him. Castiel leaned against the frame to his front door, lifting his brows in greeting and the wide smile graced his lips seemed sadder than any dead pan grimace had given him in the past.

"Hey you." Castiel breathed and Dean resisted the urge to gag. The alcohol was potent, and so was the pot.

"Cas, I need to talk to you." Dean said and to his surprised, Castiel took his hand, giving a tug, and it was human. So very human, and it was the shock of it that had Dean inside.

"Want a drink?" Castiel closed the door behind them and Dean glanced at the kitchenette counter where there were 2 shot glasses on either side, already used. There were two bar stools as well, one knocked over.

"No." Dean said as Castiel released him and went for the bottle himself, pouring a shot.

"Your loss." Castiel swallowed the shot of whiskey and he took a deep breath, as though savoring the burn. Dean stared. Castiel was so lean, it bordered on skinny. Dean could see his ribs.

"You know who I am, right?" Dean asked, thinking Castiel's judgment was off.

"Mm, you?" Castiel leaned against the counter and pointed at Dean, propping his face up with his elbow, grinning foolishly, "You're the one I like. You're the Dean I fell for." Castiel laughed, as though there was a hidden innuendo.

"Cas," Dean leaned against the other side of the counter, and pushed the bottle down the counter so it was more out of sight. Castiel's eyes lingered on the bottle, his shot glass still wrapped up in his worn fingers, "What... what the hell? You and future me?" Castiel shrugged, tired eyes looking back to Dean.

"Well yes, frankly, you're really good at fucking me." Castiel grinned when Dean jerked at the words that tumbled from the lips that always had that angelic strain to them. Castiel purred low in his throat and Dean was quickly getting tired of these surprises, "It feels so good with the whiskey and Mary-J." Dean rubbed his head, he had to focus.

"Cas, I just wanted to ask you what happened to Angel Baby." Dean stared at Castiel, who's smile dimmed and the shot glass was lowered to the counter with a clink.

"You're a buzz kill. I don't want to talk about that." Castiel reached for the bottle that Dean had so rudely pushed away. Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and pushed it down against the counter. Dean didn't even have to push hard, Castiel's hand just fell under the weight and warmth of Dean's, "Dean."

"It's important, Cas." Dean whispered, leaning closer. Castiel's eyes lifted to Dean's and there was pain. Lots and lots of pain. Pain that he'd only seen in a parent's eyes when Dean couldn't save their child.

"No." Castiel's tongue curled with the word, but then he carried on before Dean could get mad. Because Dean and Cas knew that Dean got mad when it was just 'no', "Not unless you do something for me." Castiel leaned his chin on his knuckles, fingers curling into his throat.

"Within reason." Dean replied and lifted his hand when Castiel pulled back it back across the counter.

"Fuck me." Castiel was casual and Dean stood straight, pushing back from the counter.

"Fuck no." Dean said immediately and Castiel chuckled darkly, plucking up the bottle and pouring another shot.

"Then no story." Castiel drank it before Dean could lunge forward to halt it. Castiel waved his hand, which was far too fluid and wispy for the Castiel that Dean knew, "I have not had to speak of that day for nearly 5 years and I don't plan on starting again." Dean gripped the counter, staring hard at Castiel.

It wasn't as if the thought hadn't crossed Dean's mind. But in 2009, Castiel was an angel. He was stiff and didn't express human emotions the way Jimmy could. Castiel had been obviously uncomfortable at the brothel with Chastity; terrified more or less. Dean had wondered if Castiel had any sexual drive at all at that point. And then there was the fact he was spontaneously pregnant. Not that the baby angel had caused to Dean to loose any interest. Actually, it made Dean want to be more involved, but Castiel was just focused on finding God.

But this Castiel, the 2014 one, wasn't the Castiel Dean knew. This was a drugged-up, orgy guru that used to be an angel.

"Didn't I already fuck you like 10 minutes ago?" Dean turned a glare at the shot glass in front of him. In the end, he poured a drink for himself, because fuck it if he was going to have a conversation like this with his angel.

"Yes, you proved your masculine stamina quite well, you'll be happy to know." Castiel smiled as Dean tossed back his shot. Castiel took the bottle and poured Dean another drink after the glass was set down on the counter. Dean gave Castiel a raised brow and Castiel just smiled cheekily back, pouring one for himself as well from the half gone bottle, "You didn't used to drink before you fucked me, but I'm not surprised by it. I kind of miss it."

"Cas..." Dean took the bottle from Castiel's hand and put it on the floor so Castiel would have to climb over him to get to it. Though in hindsight, this Castiel probably would have been all too happy to do so.

"I see we haven't done it yet in your time line." Castiel drank and set the glass on the table, "Come on Dean, it was me and you on the road, fighting monsters and having wild sex. Like I'm Louise," Castiel leaned closer lowering his chin and looking at Dean though his lashes and Dean was more intrigued by that look than he thought he'd be, "And you're Thelma, and we held hands and drove off the cliff together." Dean blinked, startled because he'd just said that to Castiel the other month. He was getting good at movie references. Of course this Cas had hung out with future Dean for almost 6 years now.

"Why..." Dean breathed, "why did we even start..."

"Sh..." Castiel put his finger to Dean's lips, "I'll tell you if you share the bed with me." Castiel's gaze was steady and Dean's throat went dry. Dean took up the shot and drank it down, coughing to get air back in his lungs.

"Talk first." Dean demanded.

"In bed." Castiel countered, standing up with more sway than wobble and walked out of the kitchen. Dean was still at the counter for a drawn out moment and Castiel did not come back to see if he was coming. He ended up following and Castiel was sitting on a mattress that was piled with sheets and blankets. It was all jumbled and Dean had never thought Castiel could be so sexual in general. Castiel patted the spot next to him and Dean stiffly sat down. Castiel sat up and wrapped his fluid hands around Dean's thick bicep, leaning into him.

"We were lost." Castiel whispered, chin leaning on Dean's stiff shoulder. Dean gazed at Castiel out of the corner of his eye, Castiel's fingers knitting together against his arm, "You'd just sliced off a vamp's head and we were in the Impala. You started it. You kissed me to get me to shut up and we did it in the Impala, front seat." Castiel bit his bottom lip with his teeth, but it didn't look like it was a pleasant memory, "I sucked, and I don't mean in the good way. But eventually I got better at sucking." Dean grimaced. Not the story he wanted to hear.

"What about Angel Baby?" Dean prodded and Castiel's mock grin widened,

"If I tell you, you'll just leave." Castiel's hand smoothed over Dean's shoulders and neck, kissing Dean's skin behind his ear, making Dean shiver, "Action, and then pillow talk."

"I hate pillow talk." Dean muttered, wishing for the rest of the whiskey because this just felt awkward.

"All you'll have to do is listen." Castiel's hand slid across Dean's chest, "And get me the rest of the whiskey."

"I could get the rest of the whiskey now." Dean offered.

"Later." Castiel moved, sliding himself comfortably in Dean's lap, "I'll need it afterwards. Not for this." Castiel kissed him and Dean stiffened. Castiel was much more eager than he ever expected a first kiss with Castiel to be. Eager and fluid, knowing exactly what he was after. Dean's hands moved on their own, gripping Castiel's hips and running up his waist.

Castiel pushed Dean down onto his back with enough force to knock the wind out of him. After that, Dean sort of expected the heavy and fevered pace that he'd heard earlier but Castiel didn't go straight for his pants. Castiel's hands slid under Dean's shirt and pulled off both layers with practiced ease. Then his rough hands slid down Dean's chest. One hand stopped at Dean's shoulder, which was bare skin; unmarked, "You were shot here," Castiel voice was nostalgic and soft. His other hand moved down, his other hand raking over Dean's abs softly, "There' are scratch scars here." Then above the belly button, "Stabbed here. That was a close call." Dean stared up at Castiel, who met his eyes with a wry smile, "I had to patch you up so many times..." Dean's eyes slid over Castiel's bare skin. It was odd how Castiel seemed to be talking to both him and future him at the same time.

"You have some too." Dean pointed out the array of little upraises of flesh and newly healed wounds; couldn't have been more than a year old. Dean touched an obvious laceration along Castiel's chest, long and knitted together with time. The scars were only illuminated by the glow of a couple oil lamps.

"Okami, got the jump on me." Castiel shrugged, his hands drifting down to Dean's jeans, pushing the button from it's loop. Dean tensed, heart thudding. He was really doing this with his friend? Castiel tugged open the zipper and slid down gracefully, pulling the jeans and underwear with him. Castiel's warm mouth pressed against Dean's abs and hip bone. Dean pushed himself up on his elbows and swallowed as Castiel briefly met his eyes with his blue, lust filled ones. It was only for a moment before Castiel slid his tongue over Dean's half hard cock and swallowed him; his fingers wrapped around the very base.

Dean was fairly surprised by the smoothness of Castiel's movements and how wet his mouth was. It was painfully obvious that he'd had lots of practice. And most of that practice may have very well been on future Dean because Castiel knew the pace that Dean liked; eager and head bobbing at a steady pace. It wasn't exactly fair because Dean was used to a naïve virgin angel, not this sexed up yoga orgy guru.

Once Dean was to a hardness Castiel approved of he slowly drew off, pulling the waist band of his pants off and easily slid his bare legs over Dean's to straddle him. Dean swallowed, stunned with the ease of the motions.

"We do this a lot?" Dean guessed wearily and Castiel lifted his eyes again, giving a half shrug.

"Define 'a lot'." Castiel tugged over the sheet beside Dean and there were a couple packaged condoms and a bottle of lube, which was half empty. Dean eyed the pile, eyes following Castiel's hand as he dragged the bottle over the sheets.

"Often, I mean, once a week." Dean remembered what Chuck had said about Thursdays. Castiel shrugged, languid.

"It used to be more but..." Castiel's tongue and then teeth ran over his bottom lip, his hand running over Dean's chest, breathing out sharply with a wistful smile, "I was foolish back then. I thought I could keep you to myself." Dean stared, wondering how stupid his future self had to be to not want Castiel straddling him every night. Castiel pressed the bottle to Dean's chest, lifting an amused brow, replying lightly, "Want to do the honors?" Castiel leaned down and kissed Dean's jaw, scuffing his unshaven face against Dean's smoother jaw; which was more of a turn on than Dean expected, "I like it when you open me up with your big fingers." Dean swallowed thickly, mind reeling to a lot of the porn he'd watched on Sam's laptop.

"The hell did you learn to talk like that?" Dean opened the bottle and poured the lube into his hand. His fingers fumbled a bit before they smeared against Castiel's ass and then over his hole. Castiel let out a soft breath, moving back against the hand.

"Mm, years of you and your pornography." Castiel whispered huskily and pressed his hands against Dean's chest as Dean's fingers slipped in easier than he had expected. Then again years of practice and plus future Dean minutes before. Castiel's breath was heavy and he was half hard against Dean's stomach.

"Damn..." Dean muttered, his fingers sliding in and out of Castiel's body with ease and the slightest movements of Castiel's hips. Castiel's eyes closed and Dean's fingers delved deeper, his other hand sliding over Castiel's hip and squeezing a butt cheek. Castiel smiled and dragged over a condom, pulling apart the wrapper and reaching back to roll it over Dean's ridged cock. Castiel then pushed Dean's wrist away, sliding down on Dean's cock until he sat flat against Dean's pelvis.

"Ah..." Castiel breathed out as he bottomed out. Dean's hands gripped Castiel's hip and ass and he rocked into the warm body surrounding him. Castiel's eyes opened partly and he looked down at Dean, licking his lips, "Mm, I wish we'd done this a lot sooner." Castiel started rocking with Dean's movements, a slow and lazy pace. Dean wasn't exactly used to the casual talk between heavy breaths.

"Psh, if I knew you were eager for this..." Dean was tempted to roll them over but when he made the push to, Castiel's legs held tight, not allowing the roll, keeping the rocking and clenching his body, which made it harder not to want to thrust in deeper.

"Mm, I was kinda stupid 5 years ago." Castiel bent low, kissing Dean's lips, their eyes meeting, "I didn't know how to ask. I wanted your attention. Your touch." Castiel's eyes went hazy, inclining his head in a way that was very Castiel and Dean stared, "I didn't want this to be your weekly apology." Dean's brows furrowed in confusion and Castiel gave that strained smile and huffed as he slid back down on Dean's cock, distracting them both, "Sorry. You make me think of the good old days." Castiel started to move faster, lifting himself up and then impaling himself down. Dean's hands gripped tighter as they were gaining rhythm.

Dean rolled his hips into Castiel tight ass. The talk thankfully ceased because it gave Dean a sense of guilt that he was not okay with. Castiel closed his eyes, body undulating with the thrusts and he was stroking his cock. Castiel was also very quiet in bed, except for the heavy breathes and the occasional sharp intake of breath that was almost a moan. He seemed to be heavily concentrating or absorbed in the moment. Dean's eyes dragged down Castiel's body, taking in the sight. It seemed... wrong on so many levels. Wrong that Castiel had to wait for a past him to come to feel wanted. Also wrong that future Dean wasn't taking care of his own angel. And Castiel wasn't even looking at him; and that just sort of pissed Dean off.

Dean grabbed Castiel's face and dragged him down into a kiss. Castiel's dull blue eyes opened and he kissed back automatically. And then it deepened and a low moan escaped Castiel and that sounded right. Dean cupped Castiel's one knee to the bed and he dragged Castiel down, rolling over him and pressing Castiel into the sheets.

"Dean." Castiel breathed throatily and Dean wasn't sure why, but it sounded better than before. Felt more real. Maybe because it actually looked like Castiel was feeling something. His eyes were now fixated on Dean, fingers digging into Dean's shoulder, "Fuck, Dean..." The hand on Castiel's cock increased its speed and Dean gripped Castiel's hip in one hand to steady himself as he thrust in harder. Castiel was all movement now, squirming, legs gripping Dean's waist tight, back arching off the bed. Fuck...

"Cas." Dean hissed and Castiel groaned at the sound of his name.

"Right, there. Fuck..." Castiel's head rolled back into the sheets. There were a few more tense thrusts together before Castiel keened, "Dean!" And Castiel pulled hard on Dean's shoulder, curling some under Dean, coming hard on his own belly. Then Castiel was so tight around him, it dragged Dean over the edge as well after a few more thrusts.

They slowed and Dean rolled over, discarding the condom automatically. Castiel panted beside him and Dean was a bit shell shocked with the rush of pleasure and just who it had happened with. Because crap... That was good. REALLY good...

"Mm..." Castiel moved, rolling over half on top of Dean, following up with a brief languid kiss. His forearms pressed against Dean's chest, laying atop him, "That was... well worth the wait." Dean blinked up at Castiel, his hands resting naturally in the curve of the waist meeting the hip of the man over him. There was a moment of looking at each other before Castiel grinned that strained smile again. He rolled off of Dean and shoving Dean's shoulder, "Whiskey now." Dean blinked, not expecting to be pushed out so quick. Then again, he was surprised he hadn't volunteered to do it 20 seconds before Castiel got to it.

He came back with the whiskey bottle and Cas patted the sheets for Dean to return to bed, belly clean from his own cum. Dean frowned and Castiel rolled his eyes, "Oh shut up, I know how resistant you are to snuggles. Just be my shoulder pillow for 5 minutes." Dean eyed the older Castiel and sat down, grabbing his pants along the way. Castiel sat up as he took the bottle in both hands. He gulped twice and let out a low hiss as he lowered the bottle. Dean got his pants on and looked to the ex-angel.

"February, 2010." Castiel spoke slowly, hugging the bottle to his bare chest. He leaned against the head board, bending one leg and the other brushed Dean's knee. Castiel's eyes focused on the other side of the room. "I started going into the final chapter of severance. The moment where my grace split." He closed his eyes, "We were hunting a werewolf. Or rather, a pack of them. We were very close to killing the last one. I told you my time was nearing. In a day or two. You decided to finish the job yourself because I was all but useless. I was graceless. My child took all of it because I was cut off from Heaven." Dean stared hard at Castiel because Castiel had said 'child'. Not 'new angel' or 'offspring'. My child, "You threw together some angel hex bags and said you'd be back in a day. Said you'd be there." Castiel took a draw from the bottle and it sloshed against the glass with his gusto to get it down. He opened watery eyes, starring down at the amber liquid, in a trance, "You broke your leg on the field and you found me under the house 3 days later..."

"What happened?" Dean felt his throat dry, guilt setting in him like a tumor.

"I split." Castiel looked at the ceiling, face twitching in a way that showed he was trying to control himself, "He was beautiful. He was beautiful, Dean. He was radiant and..." There was a moment when Castiel's voice wouldn't work for him. He swallowed, "The hex bags weren't enough to keep him from throwing his grace out to Heaven. New angels are beacons to be picked up and taken back." The tears flowed freely and Dean wanted to look away, but it was like a truck wreck. He couldn't, "They came and ripped him away from me, and I couldn't stop them. I could only send them all back to Heaven so they didn't kill me, and then I hid, like a... a c-coward." Dean leaned over, his hand resting on Castiel's shoulder, which was shaking. Castiel hid his eyes with his hand, avoiding Dean's gaze, "They always take them away..."

"Because... you fell?" Dean asked and Castiel managed to grit his teeth into an ugly grin through the tears.

"It's what Heaven does, Dean. It's what they've always done." Castiel's grip tightened on the neck of the bottle, "You go through severance, you get your grace torn in half, and then you never see them again. An angel never knows its sire, only their brothers. Never... Never even known what they're called or what department they're put in. Then you go back to work, like you didn't just have your heart ripped out and taken away. He was my son, Dean." Castiel's chest trembled, "And I... I got attached to him because of you. Because of you... I loved him. And because of you... You..."

"Cas..." Dean gripped his shoulder tighter and Castiel hiccuped, his eyes down cast at the bottle in his hand, which Castiel had more than half consumed. Castiel rattled a gasp.

"Angels are cold. Are heartless because they have their children ripped from them at birth." Castiel muttered bitterly, pulling away from Dean's grip, holding the bottle tighter, as though there was more comfort in the drink than Dean's hands. His voice turned mocking, different from his own low tones "'So don't get attached to it' Rapheal always said, 'You won't have it for long anyway. Getting attached to them only makes it harder. No point in getting attached to what you can't keep'." Castiel's imitation of Raphael was not more comforting with the forced laugh Castiel gave.

Dean had had enough, he dragged Castiel closer by his bare shoulder and yanked the bottle out of Castiel's hands, tossing it to the rug where it wet the dust and dirt. Castiel went tense and he shoved Dean back, but there was no angel strength, just the strength of a man, "Shut up, Cas, just shut up."

"Dean-"

Dean cut him off with an angry kiss, because even his name was painful on Castiel's lips. He dragged Castiel down into the sheets by his arms until Castiel stopped resisting him and sank into the mattress. Castiel's fingers dug into Dean's skin. Dean stared hard down at the broken angel. Castiel's face fell to a bitter half scrunched up mess and then all the bitterness drained into a terrible, ugly smile and laugh, "Funny, that's what you said the first time we did it..."

"Told you to shut up." Dean muttered and promptly laid his full weight down on Castiel, gaining a surprised sound and look from him. The only thing between them was Dean's jeans. Castiel's expression softened and he relaxed into the mess of blankets under him, his fingers walking up Dean's arm before resting on the hand print that Castiel himself had left. A soft barely there smile made it onto those lips and it was the realest expression Dean had seen since he'd met this Castiel. But his eyes, they were tired and ruined.

"I miss when you stayed." Castiel whispered as he shut his eyes. And for once, Dean did stay. Until they had to set out to kill the devil.


	10. Butterfly Effect

I'm actually quite proud that I made the majority of you cry from the last chapter. That was the sad ending for the original idea. As you can see, Dean and I didn't like it.

(In the present, August 2009)

* * *

Castiel flew Dean back to the road side with him a little after 4 hours were up because Dean said that was what he needed to rest his weary human consciousness. It was a good thing he had returned when he had because Zachariah had been in the room, yelling threats about sending Dean back to some place; some time. Once they were safely by the road, Dean turned slow, his eyes wide as he took Castiel in; as though it was the first time Dean was seeing him.

A wide smile broke out on Dean's face, relief flooding the air, "Pretty nice timing, Cas." Castiel hinted a smile which Dean seemed to react strongly to.

"We had an appointment" Castiel touched the phone in his trench coat and Dean stepped forward, grasping Castiel's shoulder. Dean lifted a hand to say something, but then, Castiel was surprised by a hug. A real, chest to chest hug which Castiel had never felt before and the feeling was warm and welcome. Castiel's muscles loosened but Dean moved back before Castiel's arms raised to clutch him back.

"Don't ever change." Dean looked him dead in the eye and Castiel nodded. The emotion powered by those words were enough to not make Castiel question why. Then Dean looked down at Castiel's swollen belly, which hummed with Dean's touch and Castiel willed it to settle, "Cas," Dean looked Castiel in the eye again and Castiel was struck with Dean's clear determination, his hand curled on Castiel's nape, "I swear, you're gonna be able to keep Angel Baby. You got that? I'm gonna be there, and no one's gonna take him away from you. 'Cause I'm going to be there, no matter what." Castiel's throat dried and he was struck in the heart with the promise to cure all the fears he'd been feeling for nearly a year now.

"Dean..." Castiel had no words. Dean pulled him close, their faces close and Castiel was caught unsure, but willing for contact...

"I... I've got to make a call," Dean pulled away and Castiel took in a slow breath; his body tingling. He watched quietly as Dean called Sam, asking him to meet his brother. Asking to make amends; to return to hunting together. What ever Dean had been through had rattled him badly.

They retrieved the Impala and Dean set out to drive, insisting that Castiel ride with him.

"I should be searching for God." Castiel insisted as Dean was driving and Castiel's fingers slid over the leather of the passenger seat.

"Just sit still until I get Sam." Dean said, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. It had been barely 20 minutes since Castiel had whisked Dean from his motel and Dean was still ridged.

"Dean, what did Zachariah do?" Castiel pondered on the infinite ways Zachariah could have tortured Dean; all the sicknesses and stresses that were possible. The endless times and situations that Dean could have been through in a short few hours. Castiel knew none that would cause Dean to react so badly; except Sam perhaps.

"Just..." one of Dean's hands loosened from the steering wheel to wave the question away, as though he didn't want to think about it, "Just talk to me about Angel Baby, okay?" Castiel glanced down at his burden, his fingers curling on top of the stretched flesh, "What's it like?"

"Carrying a new angel?" Castiel ran his knuckles over the mound, "It's like having another in your mind and being; conscious and aware."

"So you feel it?"

"Of course. It is half of my grace." Castiel frowned slightly, looking at Dean, "How can I not feel it?"

"You just..." Dean glanced sideways at Castiel, taking in the full being he was next to, "Up to a few months ago, you didn't seem to care."

"I do care." Cas said lowly, eyes drifting downwards, "It is half of me, Dean. I'm more attached to it than I wish to be. I feel it, growing in consciousness."

"You want to keep him." Dean stated and Castiel stared at him, not sure what Dean was looking for, "Say it."

"I... I don't even see how it's a question," Castiel breathed and Dean gave him a hard look, "Yes. Yes, of course I want to keep him." Both of his hands were pressed tight to his grace.

"Good." Dean sat back in his seat, no longer staring so closely at Castiel. It warmed Castiel to say it. Yes, he wanted to keep it. He couldn't give it up willingly to heaven now, "He needs a name. I feel weird about calling him Angel Baby now." Castiel inclined his head to the side. He had reasoned that he would get sick of the name before Dean.

"Why the change of heart?" Castiel folded his hands in his lap.

"It's just... he needs a proper name." Dean kept his gaze on the road, "Have any in mind?" Castiel paused in thought, his mind going over the list of names in heaven. He'd dabbled with the idea since Dean first mentioned it but hesitated because giving something a name gave it emotional attachment. A personality. But Dean was so determined...

"Nemamiah." Castiel felt a smile tug at his lips as he relaxed and the consciousness in the back of his mind hummed lightly.

"Mamma-mia?" Dean's eyebrow raised at Castiel, as though he was making a connection to something human related.

"Nemamiah." Castiel repeated, brows raising and he looked Dean's way, "The angel of just causes." He inclined his head to look at Dean more meaningfully, "Protector and defender of the defenseless." Dean stared at Castiel a moment.

"Yeah, really noble sounding." Dean responded slowly. Castiel looked up at Dean, staring fixedly. "Any special meaning?"

"It's just what you do." Castiel's thumb and palm ran over his belly, "Protecting humans who don't know about demons and monsters."

Dean leaned back against the seat. He seemed stunned, "So, what, you're naming him after me?"

"I suppose, I am." Castiel nodded slowly and Dean just stared at him and they were veering dangerously to the left, "Dean. The road." Dean's eyes flickered back to the road and the Impala eased back between the white lines. They had several hundred miles to cover and Dean turned on the radio to fill most of the trip.

* * *

(Nemamiah is an actual angel: He protects those who struggle for justice and for the rights of those who can not defend themselves; such as children and animals. He inspires us to have empathy in our hearts. )


	11. Between the Raindrops

I pronounce Nemamaiah [Neh-mah-mee-ah], for androidtracker. Kinda like how Dean would sing Mama mia. :D Thanks for all the reviews guys, it always highlights my days when my phone beeps.

(Mood Music: Between the Raindrops - Lifehouse)

* * *

Meeting up with Sam was more than a day's ride and Dean had only gotten the few broken hours of sleep in 2014; a few hours sleeping next to future Cas and then Dean got kicked out of bed by his own future self. It was one of the most bizarre experiences Dean had ever had. His future self didn't even mention that he was in the same bed with Castiel. Future Dean just gave future Castiel a strained look which drained what ever sly remarks Castiel had. Future Castiel then got dressed and followed future Dean, giving no other thoughts to the other Dean. Dean could still see that future Castiel was still very much invested in the leader of the time.

Driving with Enter Sandman in the background with a quiet angel who was holding his stomach didn't ease his mind. Dean just hoped he could own up to his promise like his future self could not. Because Dean could not stand to see his angel like that. Not twice in a lifetime. Dean took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes briefly. Adrenaline could only get him so far. Dean made the call to pull into the next motel he saw.

Dean got into a room and sighed, putting his over night bag of emergency gear on the floor and sat on the bed, feeling like it was the first time he'd stopped since getting zapped to the past. His mind was still wired though, which he knew would make it difficult to get his 4 hours. Castiel secured the area as safe and landed in Dean's room a few minutes later.

"I see no more religious sales men." Castiel announced and Dean blinked up at him, or rather, at his stomach. That larger area of mass that made Cas look, well, fat. But not in the chunky, hefty way.

"Good." Dean sat up more, "Good, then I should be able to get some shut eye soon." Castiel nodded, placing his hands behind his back.

"I shall continue my for God." Castiel said and Dean held up a hand.

"Wait, wait." Dean waved him to stay and Castiel frowned, confused, "I gotta ask you something"

"Dean, every second I'm here is one I could be searching for God." Castiel let out a breathy huff.

"Yeah well, you've been popping in and out for months and you haven't found him, right?" Dean reasoned and patted the bed with a hand, "Sit a minute." Castiel made a strained expression but he obeyed, sitting next to Dean, "How's this split going to happen?"

"Dean, it's still several months until the split..."

"I know, I know. That's why I gotta ask, okay?" Dean turned more towards Castiel and the angel let out a long breath.

"I will convert back to light and energy and the new angel-"

"Mamma mia."

"Nemamiah." Castiel corrected Dean's correction without a hitch, "Nemamiah will become his own entity. It takes nearly a second or two."

"And getting it into the vessel?"

"I shall have to communicate with Nema-Miah," Castiel made sure to say it slowly and he received rolled eyes from Dean, "And then it should be safe for escape."

"So, over all, how long should it take?"

"Perhaps a minute and a half..." Castiel pressed his hand into his belly, "If hex bags don't work at all, angels will be there as it starts." Dean cursed quietly to the ceiling and Castiel touched Dean's shoulder. Dean glanced at Castiel's strained face, then down to where Castiel's hand was on his stomach.

"Hey uh..." Dean waved his hand in the general direction of Castiel's belly, "Mind if I touch it?" Castiel's brows furrowed in thought for a moment.

"... You may if you wish." Castiel leaned back, his hand still on Dean's shoulder and Dean's hand rested on the dome of flesh. Instead of soft pudgy flesh, the skin was taunt, as though it was hard muscle instead of of a fleshy baby belly as Dean had been expecting.

"Holy shit, I take back the flabby comment from earlier." Dean leaned in, ear close and he inspected closer, "It's like you swallowed a rock or something." He was reminded of the time he'd punched Castiel and it felt the same; like punching a boulder and spraining his fingers.

"As I explained earlier, this is not a baby, nor is it fragile." Castiel's voice was softer, "That is grace. That is Nemamiah."

Dean felt a vibration from where his fingers rested and his brows rose high. He looked up at Castiel, who's eyes were half lidded, flickering between meeting Dean's eyes and his stomach. The feeling was like a hum and for a crazy moment, Dean swore Castiel was glowing, and not in the 'cover your eyes or you'll lose them' way. More in a parenting way; loving. Dean laughed a bit awkwardly, pulling his hand back.

"I... dunno, I thought he would kick or something." Dean scoffed, "Dumb I guess since he doesn't have legs." Castiel gave him that barely hinted smile.

"He reacted to your touch." Castiel closed his eyes, "The hum of energy, the warmth. So, in a way, he did 'kick'."

Dean wasn't sure why, but his chest swelled, warmed by that comment. Castiel's eyes opened and Dean looked into the bright blue eyes. They were sad, but not as broken as Castiel from the future had been. Castiel stared back at him, his lips pressing into a thin line for a minute before they relaxed. Dean swallowed and decided not to be the asshole he saw in the future. Because Castiel was important to him, more than he wanted to admit.

"Kinda weird." Dean muttered, just quiet enough for Castiel to hear him, "I mean, you're pregnant, but you're still a virgin." Castiel gave a little shrug of his shoulders.

"You mentioned that before, at the brothel." Castiel grimacing slightly, "I'm sure that woman still has doubts about her father..."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure she does," Dean waved it off and his hand rested on Castiel's leg, "I'm still not okay with you being a virgin. So uh..." there was no easy or less embarrassing way to say it, "Would you be interested in me helping you out with that?"

Castiel's eyes drifted up and he tensed up, staring at Dean. Dean waited and Castiel's hands pinched his coat ridges, "Do you mean you?" Castiel sat up straighter, "or do you mean some other brothel?" Dean wet his lips and let out a long held breath.

"I mean me."

"You're propositioning me?"

"Yeah, sure."

"You're asking... if we could have intercourse?"

"Damn it, Cas, yes." Dean felt the heat on his face, "How many times do you need it defined?" Castiel looked down at himself, as though making sure of where he was.

"I'm not even female." Castiel pointed out and Dean rolled his eyes, "I've told you several times that just because I'm in severance-" Dean grabbed the back of Castiel's head, crushing their mouths together. Castiel let out a startled sound and went still, mouth stiff as a stone against Dean's. It was brief, but it stopped Castiel from talking and Dean pulled back. Castiel's hands were now in Dean's jacket and his eyes were wide, searching Dean's face.

"It's a yes or no question, Cas." Dean spoke slowly, unwavering. Dean remembered what future Castiel had said. Dean wanted to make sure sex wasn't a half assed experience in the front of the Impala, or an apology for a stolen child.

Castiel still stared for another good moment but he slowly nodded, "Yes." Dean closed the distance between them and Castiel held still, breathing out sharply as their lips pressed together again. Castiel braced against him still, unyielding. Dean cupped the back of Castiel's ribs pulling Castiel closer, trying to manually stop him from sitting so straight.

"You gotta relax, Cas." Dean said and Castiel blinked quickly and his fingers loosened on Dean's clothes.

"What should I do?" Castiel stared at Dean. Dean was reminded that Castiel was a virgin in the purest of senses, because Castiel wasn't even really human; he was just in a vessel. And future Castiel had clearly practiced enough through the 5 years to get that good. So he was starting at ground-zero Castiel.

"First of all, relax." Dean had experience with virgins before; not his forte, but he'd done it, "Second of all, enjoy it. This is suppose to feel good." Castiel nodded slowly and Dean pealed the overcoat from Castiel's shoulders, revealing the dark suit underneath. Castiel watched Dean move and helped shrug his arms from the sleeves. Then Castiel moved forward, pressing his mouth to Dean's in a chaste moment of lips on lips. Dean smiled briefly and returned a with a longer, softer kiss. Dean drew out the lingering pull of their lips and Castiel softened to it, a small peck signaling their parting. Much better than kissing a rock.

"I liked that." Castiel stated softly, his eyes half lidded.

"I could tell." Dean gave a wry grin.

"Again?" Castiel breathed and their lips met again. It was unpracticed but now Castiel's curiously was piqued. Castiel's lips lingered warmly, his fingers curling against Dean's shoulder, pulling himself closer as Dean guided him, mouths moving to find coordination. Dean's hands tugged down Castiel's tie, the cheap suit jacket and started to button the shirt, the heels of his hands brushing against the belly. Castiel was focused on the kissing, one hand running through Dean's hair and cupping Dean's jaw. Castiel was far more interested in Dean's mouth than Dean's clothing. When Dean deepened the kiss, Castiel matched it, eyes closed, body softer than Dean could previously remember before.

If looks were anything, Dean preferred the scar-less, paler, and definitely softer flesh than future Castiel's harder, worn body. Dean's fingers slid down Castiel's chest until his knuckles ran over the mound where there was the new angel; Nemamiah. Castiel's lips paused against Dean's, soft and warm; they were now fluid to Dean's. Dean looked into Castiel's curious gaze.

"You're okay with this?" Dean mumbled against Castiel's lips. Castiel pressed his forehead and nose pressed to the side of Dean's, getting as close as possible.

"Yes." Castiel murmured, kissing Dean once more, chastely; then again, deeper. Dean leaned over Castiel, pressing him into the mattress and Castiel didn't fight him. Castiel's hands also began to explore. Castiel's hands drew down Dean's neck and chest. Dean shucked his jacket and shirt off and Castiel's hands warmly slid down his chest again, but this time slower. Castiel's eyes lingered, his skin flushed. Dean gave Castiel one more kiss before drawing back.

"Hold that thought." Dean held up a hand to signal a halt and got out of bed. He went to his over night bag, digging in it for necessary supplies. He always had condoms, but lubrication... He found a tub of Vaseline in his first aid kit and a couple condoms before he turned out the room light. He stripped his pants and kicked off his shoes before kneeling back on the bed and Castiel was on his elbows; waiting for him. The only light they had in the room was from the window, which was slowly revealing the day's dawn. Dean leaned down and Castiel drew him back into a heated kiss, breathing heavily against their mouths.

Dean's hand slid down Castiel's side and hip, peeling down the slacks and the shoes on Castiel's feet. Dean's knee slid between Castiel's once they were both bare and breathing heavy. Dean's found the curve along Castiel's side warm and Castiel's palm often rested on the nape of Dean's neck. It was all slow and close; oddly more comfortable than Dean was used to. Their limbs grazed, lips never leaving for long, hands never ceasing.

Dean opened the Vaseline tub and pulled back from Castiel sucking on his bottom lip. Dean ran his hand between Castiel's legs and down his thighs. Castiel's breath caught and he lifted himself from the bed, using Dean's shoulders as support. Dean guided the thighs apart, kneeling between Castiel's legs.

"Relax." Dean breathed as he eased the first slick finger against Castiel's hole, which was as unyielding as his lips first were. Castiel took a deep breath and his body relented to Dean's fingers slowly. Castiel's fingers combed though Dean's hair, legs curling into Dean's sides.

"You're... sure about this?" Castiel breathed and Dean paused for a moment.

"I should be asking you that." Dean eased the finger in further and Castiel let out a breathy sound that wasn't quite a moan.

"I've never... imagined," The words stopped on Castiel's tongue, hand covering his own mouth as Dean was sliding fingers in and out, "It's... ineffable." Dean's mouth curved into a wry smile.

"That's good, right?" That time Dean did get a moan out of the angel.

"Dean..." Castiel murmured and Dean picked up the pace with hearing his name uttered so fervently. Dean worked a little faster, opening Castiel up with his fingers. He remembered briefly what future Castiel had said about enjoying Dean's fingers inside of him and Dean swallowed because, Hell, if he wasn't hard a moments ago, he was now, "Dean." Castiel moaned lowly, his fingers digging into Dean's shoulders to an almost painful degree.

"Easy there, Cas." Dean winced and Castiel's fingers loosened their grip. Castiel wasn't exactly in a condition to heal Dean if he broke something, "How about you turn over for me?" With a little maneuvering, Castiel was on his hands and knees and Dean squeezed Castiel's side as he determined if Castiel was slick enough or not. His fingers grazed over the enlarged belly and Castiel watched him over his shoulder, normally strict blue were hazy with lust, "I think you're ready." Castiel just nodded, his elbows supporting him on the bed.

Dean grabbed a rubber and rolled it on. His lips kissed Castiel's spine before he pushed in his cock. Slowly. Dean listened for any protest but Castiel only took in a sharp breath and a low groan was pressed into the sheets. Dean took a deep breath as he was in Castiel, all the way. He ran his thumb up Castiel's spine and there was this constant hum he felt but now that they were connected, he could feel it more. He made a mental note to ask later, because he wasn't stopping now. Dean started thrusting, which was the most familiar process of all of this.

Castiel pressed his face into the sheets, breathing heavily but his body was anything but still. His back curved up and down with his breathing and rocked side to side was Dean guided him into a steady rhythm. Their movements became synced and Castiel started moaning. Moaning Dean's name.

"Dean." The moan added a new fluctuation to how Castiel said his name. Dean thought it was ridiculous how much Castiel said his name, and how much meaning it held with one look and one name would tell Dean more about what the angel was feeling than any human words or expression could muster. He felt the sad, the angry, and the happiness that didn't quite translate to Cas's face. And now he heard the utter heat of how much Castiel felt for this moment. How much passion and arousal was built up in him, as though it had been so long that he'd waited... "Dean..."

Castiel's fingers dug into the mattress and Dean briefly wondered if there would be finger holes to confuse the maid. Dean groaned low, thrusting harder, "fuck, Cas..."

"Dean." Castiel's voice had a slight up rise in tone, hips moving back at a needy pace, destroying what rhythm they had before. Dean gripped Castiel's hips as he broke the steady wins-the-race pace and drove it home, flesh meeting flesh with sharp thrusts. Castiel dragged the sheets closer; volume steadily growing, "Dean!"

"Cas!" Dean groaned loudly and pushed in deep into his angel, cumming with his last hard thrusts. Dean slowed but Castiel pushed back, a low whine leaving his throat. Dean's hand searched down and he found Castiel still very hard. Of course Castiel wasn't prone to touching himself, Dean thought awkwardly. He wrapped his fingers around the base, stroking it. It wasn't as if Dean was accustomed to reach-arounds. It was only his second time with a man; slash angel.

Castiel groaned Dean name in a muffled moan against the sheets; his body trembling as he came. Dean wiped his hand on a dry spot on the sheets and pulled back, his cock slipping from Castiel's body. Dean grimaced, finding the condom broken "Shit, defective rubber." Castiel did not comment, instead he rolled onto his side, his breathing starting to slow. Dean discarded the condom and his hand trailed up Castiel's thigh and hip as he chose to lay next to Castiel's back. Castiel tilted his head back, meeting Dean's eyes with his more alert blue ones. Dean's fingertips ran along Castiel's side gingerly before it slid back along Castiel's belly, pressing against the warm dome. Castiel's hand slid down Dean's arm and rested over Dean's hand; His fingers rested along the gaps of Dean's.

"Can't say you're a virgin anymore." Dean muttered before a yawn.

"No, I can not." Castiel mused. Dean's thumb rubbed over the taunt skin, partly guilty about the condom. He would be freaking out if he was with a woman.

"Sorry bout the mess." Dean pressed his mouth into Castiel's nape and Castiel hummed softly.

"It's not of import." Castiel at least sounded less tense, perhaps even relaxed, "Thank you, Dean." Dean smiled to himself, closing his eyes.

"Better than the brothel?" Dean muttered. The past few days were finally catching up to him.

"Infinitely better than the brothel." Castiel assured and Dean was silent, breath even.

Castiel knew Dean was asleep without needing to look behind him. Castiel rubbed his palm along the back of Dean's hand. He lingered for 10 minutes, just to appreciate Dean's warmth and touch. He would have stayed longer if the pressure to find God was not closing in on him. Castiel decided to redouble his efforts. Dean's concern for Nemamiah and himself were more than a bit overwhelming.

Castiel slipped from Dean's grasp and his grace for the mess on the bed; and yes, redressing. Castiel stopped to look over Dean and he waved his hand so that the blanket that they had made love on (now clean) rested over Dean's sleeping form; without disturbing him. The grace gathered in his stomach hummed. Castiel glanced down at it; covered by the shirt and jacket. Nemamiah's feeding on his grace had diminished greatly. That caused him to pause. He wasn't sure whether to be grateful or suspicious. There was still over 6 months before the split. There should not have been any decrease in Nemamiah's usurping until it was time for the split.

Castiel calmed his worries with a deep breath and instead, focused on finding God. Only then could he get some answers; and some help. He retrieved Dean's amulet from his overcoat pocket and took wing.

* * *

(BTW, there's this interesting study that says **The more exposed a man was to his mother being pregnant and breastfeeding when he was between 1.5 and 5 years old, the more likely he is to be sexually attracted to pregnant and breastfeeding women.** I just found that interesting, and of course made me think of Dean. Dean was 3 when his mom was Pregnant with Sammy. And it's well known that Dean has an extra soft squishy spot for kids and babies.)

(Also, don't use oil base lubricants (like Vaseline) with condoms, it eats through latex.)

:D it just gets more fun from here. See ya next week guys.


	12. Dazed and Confused

Thank you everyone for your encouragement, I'm glad they're all enjoying it so far. There have been some really great intuitive guesses in the reviews, and I'll leave it at that. And if you saw last night's episode, Clip Show, you should understand WHY I HAVE SO MANY FEELS RIGHT NOW (Nephilim, Cas feels, abomination, not wanting to kill bright-eyes. *slump*)

I seriously apologize for the lack-there-of of Sabriel that is tagged. To cover the full emotional tale of Sam and Gabriel takes another story, and that is in the works outside of Angel Baby. Angel Baby I'm focusing mostly on The baby and Destiel. And this story is long enough as it is. I hope to write the Sabriel story and post it before Angel Baby is completed. It's my big, overlaying head-canon/template that ties most of my Sabriel together. Apologies.

(Edit: If you'd like to know what happened to Gabriel and Sam, go read my story Back to December. It is completed and will explain what happened between them)

(Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin)

(Dazed and Confused – Led Zeppelin)

* * *

Sam was not exactly sure what he'd returned to.

He distinctly remembered months ago, hitching a ride with someone because Dean couldn't trust him. It was fair. Sam wouldn't have trusted himself either with all the choices he'd made the past year. But Dean had called him up to meet and make amends. To team up again. Because while they were each others weaknesses, they were also each others strength. Or so Dean had said.

Sam only agreed because working at the bar had only proven that he could not run away from his past. It reminded him _again_ in any case. There was no getting out of the life they led. Also, Sam couldn't just ignore his responsibility for starting the Apocalypse.

But Sam had not come back expecting to see more of Castiel. And Castiel had ballooned in the time Sam had last seen him. There had been just baby fat there before Sam left, but now there was actually a belly and Sam stared. He couldn't help it, it was like seeing a two headed fish. He supposed yes, sea horses and pipefish were typically the only pregnant male creatures known. Then again, Sam had to remind himself that it was Castiel that was pregnant, not Jimmy. If Sam had to guess, by compare it to humans, his stomach only looked 4 or 5 months pregnant.

Sam rode shotgun with Dean and Castiel popped into the back seat when ever he pleased. He was there for a few hours everyday to check up on them. Castiel had welcomed Sam back politely, and then most of his attention was back on Dean. Sam would watch them simply interact. The usual pattern was casual; friendly even. Dean asked if there was any luck finding God. Castiel would say no. Dean would give a mixed nod of slight sympathy and 'I figured as much'. Then Dean would ask if he wanted to listen to some music. Castiel would say yes.

Sam wasn't sure what had changed. But Dean seemed more at ease. Even though Lucifer was walking the earth. Castiel and Dean seemed at ease around one another. Calmer. Sam couldn't remember the last time Dean had really smiled. Sam had caught it once, while Castiel was in the back and his eyes were close to the opening flutes of Stairway to Heaven. Dean was looking in the rear view mirror occasionally and the smile just eased the stress from his face.

Sam had to look away because he wasn't sure if he was allowed to even think that his brother had a thing for a pregnant angel. Or Castiel in general. Instead, Sam looked out the window as the world passed by. He couldn't help thinking of all of his mistakes up to then. All the terrible choices he'd made after Dean was killed.

Most of those bad choices circled around Ruby. And Loki.

Because after Dean died, Loki came back to him. Loki, the trickster. They had been sleeping together for a year before then, after he met the janitor in Crawford Hall. It was just sex. At least it was until that stupid worm-hole and the hundred Tuesdays Sam had suffered through. After that, he didn't see Loki until after Dean's death. Loki had been at his door step, not offering sex, but companionship. Sam didn't want it of course. But Loki stayed, even after threats of being stabbed.

And there was something there, something he only remembered with Jess. Something comfortable but surreal. And it was with a man, a trickster. It scared him. It scared him because Dean was gone, and he shouldn't have been happy when Loki grinned at him and stayed. And Sam wanted to stay there but at the same time his mind told him it was wrong. Because this trickster had torn Dean away from him a hundred and one times more than he could bare but he couldn't stay mad at him, even though he was so angry with himself.

And then there was Ruby, who came along and offered to help him hunt Lilith. He said no first of course. But then it haunted him. He could finally kill Lilith. The last thing he and Dean had set out to do. And yeah, he should have listened to Ruby before, on several occasions. And then Dean could have been alive. Several people including Henricksen and the people at the police station may have lived. So... he went with her. Abandoned Loki's companionship for Ruby's revenge. Sam felt like he was DOING something about it then. He was avenging Dean. It let him channel all of his anger and uselessness into something. A goal.

Sam winced when he thought about how he'd ended it with Loki. He'd thrown everything back in the Trickster's face. After all, he didn't ask for Loki to baby him. He didn't ask for Loki's companionship. Or love

Hindsight told him he was wrong. If he'd... been smarter, he would have killed Ruby with her own damned knife. And okay, Dean would have been pissed at him for being with a trickster after his inevitable resurrection, but at least he wouldn't have started the Apocalypse. And Loki would give him that smile again...

"Oi." Dean said louder and Sam looked over at Dean. They were driving through a town, "You wanna get the gas or food?"

"Gas." Sam replied and Dean took a turn into the gas station. Castiel watched the process of Dean pulling up to the pump and sliding out from the car. Sam wondered if it was his imagination or if Dean had really winked at Castiel.

"I think you need to try a twinkie." Dean said to Castiel before he shut the door and head inside. Castiel raised his brows, watching Dean stretch his legs and arms as he walked inside the station.

"It's just a sort of sponge cake." Sam explained to the confused looking angel as he got out to pump the gas. He swiped the credit card of someone named Ed Miller and slid the nozzle into the gas hole. The smell of petroleum and the gulping of the Impala did not ease his mind. Sam leaned against the car and got out his cell phone. He had one number under the letter "L" that he hadn't tried in a couple weeks. He'd been trying ever since he and Dean had done separate ways. If Loki would just pick up. If he could just get 5 minutes...

He pressed the send button and held the phone up to his ear. It rang. And it rang. And it never did go to voice mail. But he didn't hang up. Not until the Impala's 20 gallon tank was full and the phone had rung over a hundred times. Sam sighed and slowly pressed the end button.

"Who were you attempting to reach?" Castiel asked as Sam got back into the car; the pump was put away. The Impala was all filled up and Dean could be seen in line in the convenience store.

"Oh..." Sam shifted uncomfortably, hands in his pockets, "No one. Well... no one that will answer." Castiel just nodded, hands folded over his stomach as he sat up straight in the back seat, "How's the new angel doing?"

"He's stabilized." Castiel looked down, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side. It was sort of winsome, because Castiel got an endearing look on his face when ever it was brought up now. He wasn't as indifferent about his severance as he was when it was first brought up, "I think everything is well."

"You think?" Sam eyed him and Castiel paused, fingers drumming on the top of the belly.

"This is my first severance." Castiel folded his hands again, "I presumed all of my grace would be gone by now."

"Huh." Sam waited for more but that's when Dean came back with plastic bag full of goods and he slid into the drivers seat.

"Baby's all filled up?" Dean asked and Sam nodded as Dean turned the key. Before they drove off, Dean dug out a Twinkie package and tossed it to Castiel, who caught it with swift movement, "I know you don't eat, but damn it, try one." Sam smiled as Castiel unwrapped the twin pack with careful, curious movements. Dean started driving and watched Castiel's face in the mirror. Castiel took a tentative bite and chewed, a look of confusion mixed into his face. Dean gave an amused laugh.

"It's... oddly textured and sweet." Castiel observed and declined another bite, holding it over the front seat. Dean shrugged and took Castiel's already bitten piece, chewing it with gusto.

"Your loss." Dean shrugged and waved the other twinkie towards Sam, the untouched one, "Sammy?"

Loki liked Twinkies, Sam remembered; cakes and sweets, "No thanks, all yours." Sam watched Dean tuck the other Twinkie in his pocket and grumbled something about no one having any taste for good snacks. Sam went back to looking out the window when Dean told Castiel to pick the next song; Dazed and Confused guided their way down the road. Sam decided to try calling again when they got to a motel.


	13. Little Monsters

(Episode 5.06, I Believe The Children Are Our Future)

One short chapter before some big stuff goes down. And Jesse is adorbs

* * *

Being an action figure for several minutes was unsettling at the very least, Castiel decided. Because for minutes, he was suspended of anything but hearing, seeing, and thinking. He heard Sam and Dean talk to the young cambion called Jesse. The brothers told him the truth above all things. That Jesse wasn't fully human. He was part demon and so every powerful. And dangerous. Jesse demonstrated his power by exorcizing his demon sire from his human mother with just a thought. Dean talked about training the boy and that Jesse would have to leave his parents. The thought was jarring to Castiel, because that was what he was trying to prevent with his own offspring.

Jesse went upstairs and only a short time later did the Winchesters follow them up. Then Castiel was snapped back from his plastic encasing and he was standing there, the demon knife in his hand. Jesse was there in front of him, several feet away near the kitchen. Both Winchester brothers were still upstairs, checking to see what was taking Jesse so long with his parents. The boy looked nervous, eyes fixated on the knife. Castiel lowered the blade and took in a sharp breath. He had seen the boy turn his demon father away. How could he kill him now that he was making a conscious choice to not be evil? Castiel, in a tentative act of faith, placed the knife on the mantle of the fireplace.

"I... apologize." Castiel spoke slowly. He was very aware that Jesse didn't have to turn him back. After all, he had just tried to assassinate the cambion. Jesse's face eased from the worry and he took a couple steps forward. When Castiel made no move to grab the knife, the next few steps were easier. Castiel swallowed and his hand searched out his belly, where his grace hummed back to life. Relief flooded him.

"You've got a baby..." Jesse stared and Castiel softened. Castiel wasn't expecting the sound of awe in his young voice. "It's... pretty."

"Yes..." Castiel spoke slowly, swallowing his unease as Jesse inched closer. The boy was curious, endearingly so. It was reasonable that Jesse was curious; he didn't have any siblings. But "pretty" wasn't what Castiel would call his state of being and normal humans could not see the grace in his vessel. Castiel inclined his head brows coming together, curiously, "You can see?"

"No," Jesse shook his head, "I can hear the hum..." He copied the best pitch that human vocal cords could muster to the sound of grace and Castiel's throat tightened. It was soothing, even from a cambion's throat.

"You're... not evil." Castiel resigned and Jesse blinked up at Castiel, his large eyes staring up at him, "I'm sorry for assuming your nature with your birth." A small smile appeared on the boy's face.

"What's her name?" Jesse asked and a small hand reached out to touch. Castiel's hands tightened, because Jesse was still demon spawn. His instinct was to step away, but the fingers felt human and they pressed against the mound of grace which grew to a denser hum.

"Her?" Castiel's lips parted, watching.

"It's a girl, right?" Jesse asked, his hand still, feeling the reverberation of grace. He did not flinch away, he was not harmed by it's closeness. It occurred to Castiel that if Jesse wanted, he could rip the very grace from him. But the boy almost didn't know how to be cruel.

"It's an angel." Castiel informed, despite Dean's gender choice as of late, "We are in actuality, sexless." Jesse stared up at him in wonder and Castiel found he could no longer hate this boy than his own child, "Nemamiah."

"Nemamiah." Jesse tried out the name and nodded, "I like her." Jesse then looked down cast, the situation he was in catching up to him, "I should go." Castiel nodded once, understanding.

"God's speed." Castiel whispered and with a sound like a wet tarp in the wind, Jesse was gone. It was quiet before Castiel heard the pounding steps of the Winchesters coming down the stairs. Castiel retrieved the demon knife and looked to Dean, who was the first one down and the first one to Castiel.

Dean's hand gripped Castiel's shoulder once he realized Castiel was regular sized again, "Shit, Cas, you're back."

"Jesse's not upstairs." Sam stated, looking around, as though the boy was somewhere else in the house.

"He's gone." Castiel's fingers found their way back to his grace, where Jesse's fingers still tingled, "He put the town back to normal. I'm not sure where he's gone to." Dean was checking him over and Castiel tried not to be embarrassed by Dean's constant worry.

"He..." Sam deflated just slightly more than Dean, "He just left?"

"Well... I guess we're not training him." Dean concluded, his hand having not let go of Castiel's shoulder and Castiel didn't make him. Castiel was comforted by the touch if nothing else. There had been little contact between them since Sam's arrival. Dean looked Castiel in the eye, then down, "You being an action figure didn't screw anything up, did it?" Castiel realized his hand was still in place and he dropped it to his side.

"No, everyone is in order." Castiel said calmly, though Jesse's words tingled in his mind. He wasn't sure why the boy chose the female gender while Dean chose the male. Perhaps it was only a fluke, "I believe... Jesse will be alright."

"Good. Good." Dean's hand lingered, gripped in Castiel's coat and looking at Castiel again. Sam was watching them with a raised brow and Castiel took a deep breath. He wished Dean would kiss him again.

"Dean." Sam said after a long stretch of silence.

"What?" Dean looked at Sam, his fingers loosening in the trench coat. Dean seemed to realize their proximity and quickly took up his arm length of personal space. Sam raised his chin and eye brow at his brother and Dean gave Sam an annoyed look. Dean then focused his attention on Julie, who was still knocked out from the demon. Dean went over to her and picked her up, "Let's get her back to her place. I'm sure she's not gonna want to explain anything to the Turners." Castiel followed Dean to the door and watched him ease her into the back of the impala. Castiel stood in the door way, starting to feel the weight of his grace more. His own supply was leaking with every bit he used. He still had not found God and the weight of it all was starting to fall on his shoulders. Castiel looked back to Sam, who stood in the living room, still looking around for the boy who shared a curse.

"Sam." Castiel said and Sam looked back at Castiel. Sam had his own hopes weighing on Jesse and a past that haunted him. Castiel took a breath, deciding to go before Dean encouraged him to go with them again. He was loosing time, "The boy can not be found unless he wants to be found. Let him go." Sam shuffled to the door, then towards the Impala.

"Come on, Cas." Dean called and Castiel shook his head.

"I must continue my search, Dean." He said and took wing before Dean could protest. Castiel knew he was running out of places to look, but he couldn't give up. Not yet.


	14. Game Changer

(During 5.08, Changing Channels) I think this chapter pretty much speaks for itself. I'm open for questions, but I think many of them will be answered in the next few chapters. *swoons over appearance of favorite Archangel*

* * *

As soon as Sam heard that the Trickster was in the area, he immediately told Dean that they should talk to him. Not only to stop the apocalypse -as Sam had said- but also, because he'd never gotten one call through to Loki. It could be his only chance to explain what happened; maybe ask for forgiveness. Because Sam had made so many bad choices over the past year and a half.

Instead, they'd stumbled into TV Land of Hell and Loki favored Dean this time around. Because between humiliation of doing a Genital Herpes commercial to the pain of the Nutcracker game, there were several other shows that showed Loki's contempt for Sam. It was nothing deadly. But it was all really painful or embarrassing. The trickster could be absolutely bitter and still have a smile on his face, and that bothered Sam. It was like Loki had discarded him; as though he was over Sam.

Dean was livid after Castiel had appeared, injured, on the sitcom set. And that was it, no more games. Sam hated stabbing Loki, but Loki wasn't giving him any choice. They couldn't just stay in TV Land forever. Castiel had already informed them that they'd been there for weeks. Finally, they caught Loki in a ring of holy fire, like Dean had planned. Sam hadn't suspected... He never once thought that he would hear the words that left the Trickster's mouth...

"Gabriel." The man said in the middle of the fire, the dark warehouse surrounding them. He locked his eyes with Sam. "They call me Gabriel."

Sam was floored. He had been with an ANGEL. An Archangel. Sam just felt like an idiot and his mouth closed; unable to speak. Dean made the demands and when Castiel was zapped back from where ever Gabriel had sent him, Dean was more that ready to leave; over the point of pissed off as he gave Castiel a once over. Castiel of course waved off Dean's worry, as though it made no sense to coddle him in his condition. Castiel looked worse for wear, but still on his feet.

Sam couldn't move at first, even when Dean pulled fire alarm after their little chat with Gabriel. The archangel was solemn, watching as the rusty sprinkler system rained down on the circle of fire. Sam stayed where he was, just a few feet from the flames. Loki, Gabriel, what ever he called himself, met eyes with Sam and only narrowed hardened eyes at the younger Winchester. Dean and Castiel were at the door, all too happy to leave with the last word. Sam lingered as Dean opened the door. The water slowly ate at the holy fire, drenching everyone.

"C'mon Sam." Dean snapped, open door in hand. Castiel was close behind Dean, more than agitated at Gabriel for what ever he'd put him through. Sam looked at Gabriel again, trying to find some words that would convey his regret for what had happened the last time they'd seen each other. Sam's mouth parted but one ugly sneer from Gabriel caused the words on his tongue to be swallowed again. Gabriel looked back to Dean and Castiel, anger and defensiveness clear in his voice. Gabriel was not ready to let Dean have the last words.

"Not much time left before you split, is it, Castiel?"

Castiel stood up straighter and sent a glare that Dean would be proud of, "I'm well informed, Gabriel." Castiel sounded more tired than angry, "Raphael has already lectured me on my fate." Gabriel scoffed, the fire around him going out with the rain.

"_Really_?" Gabriel didn't sound like he believed him, "Cause I figured Raphael would have smote you for carrying a nephilim. They're sort of illegal." Castiel stood still, the water pouring noisily around them. They were all getting soaked. Dean grew tense because there was nothing stalling Gabriel from snapping them into next week. Or snapping Castiel back away from him. Dean tugged on Castiel's arm, but Castiel stood his ground.

"You're delusional." Castiel finally found words and Gabriel scoffed, finally stepping towards them. He ignored Sam, bypassing him to get a good look at Castiel.

"You slept with a human, didn't ya?" Gabriel accused with a cruel, teasing smirk, "I bet it was one of these two bumbling idiots." Sam just gaped at Gabriel, confused, but Dean stepped forward, angrily.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Dean snapped, body ridged. Gabriel smirked, waving a hand to Dean.

"Bing-bing-bing, we have a winna." Gabriel grinned, snatching control of the conversation and lifting his hands to Dean like a show host, "One more pesky Winchester is coming into the world. Best you could have done really; considering Castiel is almost out of heaven juice."

"You're not making any sense." Castiel responded, a hand pushing down Dean's arm. Because really, Dean wasn't shielding him from anything if Gabriel decided to toss him about like a rag doll. Sam inched his way towards the door; and incidentally Gabriel.

"Well, when you were fleeting the ax murderer, it was fairly obvious you were in severance. But then, _whoa_, it's hard not to tell close up." Gabriel circled a finger, pointing at Castiel's belly, "You got another soul rolling around in there, not just your vessel's." Dean looked sideways to Castiel, who stared at the archangel, "I'm willing to apologies for the flying chainsaws."

"What's he talking about, Cas?" Dean muttered, "Something wrong with Nem?" He glared at Gabriel accusingly, "Did you do something to him."

"Psh, slow down there, momma bear." Gabriel waved off Dean's anger, "You're the one that put your hand into the angel cookie jar." Castiel's hands curled over his belly, brows crunching together in confusion.

"Nephilim have not been seen for several millenia." Castiel stood up straighter, reciting information that he knew.

"Oh of course, listen to Heaven's records like a lemming." Gabriel rolled his eyes, "There's one right in your gut and you didn't even realize. You can't say you didn't feel a change." Castiel hesitated and then his fingers curled into Dean's jacket sleeve. Gabriel lifted his chin knowingly, "You can feel it." Castiel's brows knitted together.

"I don't believe you." Castiel stated firmly. Gabriel wagged his finger at the other angel.

"Going into denial isn't going to help." Gabriel stepped back, nearly waltzing past Sam again, "I just thought I'd point out how boned you are."

"Gabriel..." Sam finally spoke, stepping towards the trickster, the archangel. Gabriel turned a cold stare to Sam. It was very angel like, now that Sam thought about it. No more sly jokes or obvious come ons. Gabriel was letting him know he was not forgiven one bit.

"You, Sam," Gabriel pointed a finger at Sam, speaking through gritted teeth, "Don't even have a right to even _think_ my name." Sam swallowed. He knew that, but he was stupid like that. He always kept trying.

"I just, wanted to tell you..." Sam began, because he'd say it in front of Dean if he had to, because he hadn't seen Gabriel in over a year. No contact, just a ringing phone. But Sam didn't get to continue because Gabriel was there, in front of him. Gabriel gripped Sam's wet jacket lapels in one hand and dragged him down in one tug; as though his height meant nothing.

"I'm sorry," Gabriel spoke faux sweet, "I distinctly remember the phrase from your mouth. What was it? Oh, right. I remember, '_I don't need you_'." Sam was shoved back, toppling backwards into the mud and Dean was over to him first, making sure he was alright. Gabriel scoffed, "I have nothing to say to you. You made your choice." Gabriel snapped his fingers and he was gone. Dean pulled Sam to his feet, but he was anything but sympathetic.

"Sam. Car. Now." Dean pushed Sam towards the exit and only then did Castiel allow Dean to lead him out the door. Sam looked around the ware house once more, gut sinking. He was more wounded by Gabriel's quick composure than the shove into the dirty, wet floor. Sam slowly resigned and slid his hands into his pockets, following Dean to the Impala.


	15. Let Sleeping Angels Lie

(Evil Woman – Black Sabbath)

You know, I had completely forgotten Gabriel was the angel to tell Mary she was pregnant. It was totally unintentional, but highly appropriate that he told Castiel he had a nephilim. :D Gabriel is the messenger of the lord and all. He's like the pregnancy test angel. But... that sort of also means Gabriel can walk in in a doctor's coat and go "You're pregnant". Gah, THIS. Even in another story I have, Gabriel is telling people they're pregnant. It's like his perfect job.

He's and Mpreg angel, that's just it. It makes all kinds of sense to me right now.

* * *

"Yeah, okay." Dean said into his cell phone as he drove his angel and brother towards Bobby's, "We'll be there soon, we'll help you research even." Sam looked out the window, his fingers covered his mouth; watching the scenery fly by. Castiel watched from the back, hands on his belly. 4 months left, Castiel thought, and Gabriel said he was carrying a nephilim. A beast that angels are told to kill on sight. He remembered them. Beings that could wrestle with an angel and win. They were as bad as cambion in the eyes of Heaven. That was the result of his and Dean's union? A creature such as Jesse? Jesse, the boy of demon spawn, that didn't want to fight. Half demon that wasn't evil. Castiel had gone against that overhanging law from Heaven as well.

Castiel tensed, he couldn't imagine killing this angel. This nephilim. If it was a nephilim, as Gabriel said, it was half Dean's; and that made him/her very special.

"Yeah, see ya in a few hours, Bobby." The cellphone clicked shut. Castiel noted the whiteness of Dean's hand on the wheel.

There was dead silence and the thickness in the air was nearly felt between Castiel's finger tips. The great quiet before a great Winchester storm. Castiel felt the sudden urge to disappear, to take wing; but his wings felt heavy. Surviving Gabriel's wrathful prison had taken a lot out of him. He'd ran, fought, and hid for days at a time. His grace was more stable now, but drained. He felt... tired.

"You want to tell me what you did to piss off an archangel so bad?" Dean said with as much controlled frustration as he could, his eyes gracing Sam with a look of suppressed anger, "Cause I got the impression from all your Tuesdays that you would be the one pissed off." Sam pressed his knuckles to his mouth, seeming as though he was going to ignore Dean at first.

"I..." Sam looked over at his brother. His eyes watery and pained "It's... complicated."

"UN-complicate it." Dean stressed through his teeth. Sam rubbed his hands over his face and took a deep breath, unloading another secret he held hidden from his brother.

"Loki and me... I mean, Gabriel and I have... we were sort of. We were having sex." Sam slowly glanced back to Dean, who was eyeballing Sam intensely. His lips were pursed, as though unable to believe Sam had just said it. Sam decided to just spill it all out at once. "It started after... during the first time we met the trickster. And we kept meeting up for it. It just, kept happening. But... it stopped after all the... the Tuesdays." Sam gave a funny sort of neurological twitch from saying it. A hundred Tuesdays... "And... and I ended it with him. He... I haven't seen him since you've been alive again." Dean was strained, his foot on the accelerator harder than normal.

"The fuck is it with you and sleeping with monsters, huh?" Dean growled, "And since when did you go around fucking guys, huh?"

Sam threw a scowl Dean's way, "Like you should be talking. Apparently you had sex with Cas? What the fuck is that about?"

"Don't try to turn this on me! You were sleeping with fucking Gabriel fucking archangel YEARS ago. It's completely different than me and Cas." Dean snapped, eyes flickering to the rear view mirror for a quick moment, seeing no one sitting in the back seat, "Cas and me well..." he took a moment to really look in the rear view mirror, "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?" was a groggy reply.

Sam and Dean glanced back, seeing Castiel was lying on his back on the seat of the Impala; eyes half open. Dean's eyes widened and he pulled over the Impala and unbuckled his seat belt.

"Fuck, fuck, did that asshole do something to you?" Dean was out of the driver's seat and opening the back door before Castiel could even answer. Sam just stared, unable to remember a time when Dean had looked so freaked out.

"No, Dean, shh..." Castiel grasped Dean's hand when the older Winchester was leaning over him in the back seat. Dean quieted once Castiel responded. Castiel took a deep breath. "Nemamiah has taken most of my grace. My strength is not quite up to par." Castiel pressed Dean's knuckles to his prickly cheek, eyes closing, his other arm curled over his belly, "I just need a few minutes to recuperate. Please, continue with your argument about Sam's poor choices in sexual partners." Dean clenched his teeth together in a way that formed an ugly forced smile.

"Yeah, sure. How bout some Motor Head, huh?"

"That would be nice, Dean." Castiel settled further into the worn leather seats and did not resist when Dean pulled his hand back and shut the door. Castiel turned his face to the back of the Impala, one arm curled over his belly. Dean got back into his set and popped in the cassette tape, giving Sam a strained look, but not one of pure anger like before. Sam pressed his lips into a thin line as Dean turned the music down to a tolerable roar and he turned the Impala back onto the road, with more determination to get to Bobby's. And for the first time in Castiel's existence, he slept.

"I just... can't figure it out?" Sam finally broke the silence in the Impala.

"What?" Dean glanced at Sam, but kept most of his focus on the road.

"How you slept with, Cas."

"What do you mean _how_? You slept with freaking Gabriel..."

"I mean, you didn't find the obvious bundle of joy an obstacle?"

"Well..."

"I mean, come on Dean, I've seen the girls you sleep with."

"Look, it's not exactly an obstacle."

"Hello, Dean. There's an obvious belly, right there..."

"It wasn't an obstacle, it was more of a... an added bonus."

"... Oh gross."

"Gross, what?"

"Dean, he's angel pregnant."

"Aaand?"

"That's not a turn off at all?"

"Are you actually asking me what gets my rocks off, cause I can assure you, you can go through your history on your computer to find that out on your own."

"Okay, one, stop looking up porn on my computer."

"Stop making the passwords so easy to figure out."

"Just stop touching my stuff. Look, I just had no clue you were into pregnant... people."

"I'm... not. I mean, it's not a freaking fetish if that's what you're asking."

"... Then what is it?"

"It's complicated, and it's none of your business. I'm not going to go into weird detail like you do with Ruby."

"... can we not bring up Ruby?"

"You were the one SO into Ruby, you just wanted to brag about he sex you two had-"

"Dean!"

"What's with _you_? You were all for Ruby before she back stabbed you. You can't say there was nothing there..."

"Ruby... was the reason I broke it off with Loki."

"... REALLY Sam?!"

"I know, I know..."

"Why the Hell..." A long deep breath, "You traded a freaking archangel for a demon."

"Dean, I only found out he was an angel an hour ago. He was just... a trickster back then."

"Still better than a demon."

"Dean."

"Alright FINE."

"It was just... another bad choice that I made. Because... Because he came back after you died and he was... he was trying to help. He was there for me, trying to help me through your death. And then... Ruby said she would help me kill Lilith and I... I was so stupid. I went with her."

"... you just freaking left?"

"Of course not. He found me, and I ended it. And he said... he was through. I just..."

"... God, don't cry."

"Shut UP, I'm not crying. I just know now that it was the worst choice and I've hated myself everyday for it, so don't rub it in."

"..."

"..."

"... How about some tunes?"

"Yeah, sure."

Dean turned on Evil Woman and sat back, letting the music speak for him.

"You're such a freaking jerk."

"Sing it, bitch."


	16. Children of Angels and Humans

I wanted to say so far I really appreciate everyone's comments and thoughts thus far. I look forward to every review I get. Thank you everyone. :D

(I have started to post the Sabriel back story if anyone would like to get into detail about what happened between Sam and Gabriel. Titled 'Back to December' and I'm going to update it quickly because it's short (comparatively) and It's all I've been working on for the past 3 weeks or so. It'll fill in the time between Angel Baby posts if nothing else.)

* * *

Castiel woke to the dark of the Impala, the hum of the engine and the whine of an electric guitar. Sam was leaning on the passenger window and Dean was tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel, murmuring the lyrics under his breath. Castiel sat up and pulled himself closer to the front seat to hear the words and Dean glanced back at him over his shoulder, "Hey, hey, sleeping beauty awakes." Castiel looked in the rear view mirror and did not think messy hair and his tired eyes made for the definition of 'beauty'. "How you feeling?"

"Awake." Castiel breathed and recognized the area. They were merely minutes from Bobby Singer's, "Did we fly? I only closed my eyes for a moment."

"4 hours ago." Sam looked back at him, brows creased with concern and Castiel slowly blinked at the younger Winchester.

"I slept..." Castiel murmured and sat back in his seat, a troubled feeling settling in him.

"Yup," Dean nodded, "All 300 winks."

"240." Sam corrected quietly.

"I hope... it doesn't happen again." Castiel breathed deeply, his hand resting on his belly, which thrummed with inaccessible grace. The consciousness was still strong in his mind, which meant they still had time. Time to prepare, time to learn about what was happening.

"What do you know about nephilim, Cas?" Sam turned half way around in his seat.

"They were once the result of the unholy union of a fallen angel and a human." Castiel recited from memory, eyes drifting down, "They were said to be greater than both combined. And were to be killed upon sight." Heaven had infinite knowledge on severance, but Castiel could not remember anything on creating nephilim. The only thing he'd been trained in was that nephilim were monsters, like any demon or vampire; they were to be smote without question. How they came into being was never discussed.

"Like cambion? Like Jesse?" Sam's hand gripped the leather and it squeaked under the pressure.

"Like Jesse." Castiel looked at Dean in the rear view mirror, only seeing his eyes focus in intensity on the road, "They were prevalent before the flood, and were very dangerous. It took many angels to smite one." Castiel had watched brothers fall from the nephilim's power. He curled his arms around his belly. He had never let it occurred to him to think of them as from an angel such as himself. He never had reason to think upon it until now.

"The flood?" Dean straightened up, "The big world drowning flood? Ark and all."

"Yes, flood that drained in to Tatarus and banished to the world of darkness." Castiel leaned back against the seat, breathing slowly, "None have been seen since."

"I bet." Dean pulled into Bobby's lot and parked near the house. Castiel slid out of the seat and Dean was there, in case Castiel was unsteady. Castiel blinked slowly and shut the door after himself.

"I'm fine, Dean, I'm still several months away from the split." Castiel followed Sam to the front door. Dean's arms dropped from their half cocked position and he followed him.

"I'm still new to this baby thing, give me a break." Dean followed at Castiel's shoulder. Castiel started in with an exasperated sigh

"Dean, it is not a human baby-"

"It very well could be now, couldn't it?" Dean cut off Castiel's 'new angel' statement and Castiel looked down at his belly which was only inflated so much. His stomach had not even grown since they'd laid together.

"I... don't know." Castiel frowned, realizing that he did not know the complications of begetting a nephilim. How did Gabriel even know it was a nephilim? Castiel still didn't sense a physical presence inside him, just grace and energy, "I don't know... why Gabriel would make such accusations if they did not hold some grain of truth..."

"Truth." Dean scoffed, "He's been a Trickster for how long? He... He's lying. Probably." Dean was trying to be convincing, but he did not sound sure. Castiel looked over at Dean, pausing before the door.

"Do you regret it?" Castiel whispered and Dean stared at him, unmoving. Dean's mouth hung open and his gaze drifted down to the grace, no sound leaving him for a good moment. The question stung both of their minds.

"Would you get yer damn asses in the door already." Bobby wheeled by Sam in the house and Sam was waiting in the door way, "You've got research to help with." Sam was watching them with an amused smile and and raise brows. Dean was first to move, urging Cas forward with a hand on his back; not leaving him behind in the dark.

Every one took up a book in the library/living room and Sam turned on his laptop at a table, scanning what the net had to offer. Castiel shortened the research considerably, picking out a bible from the stacks and deposited it into Dean's lap, "Genesis 6 and Numbers 13. They are the most informative sections that humanity has on nephilim." Bobby dropped his book on his desk, giving up because he'd been searching for hours in various sections of the bible.

"That's it?" Dean started flipping through the pages.

"There's not much." Sam grimaced, scrolling through his screen, "No news, just speculation."

"There ain't been a hunter who's hunted them." Bobby eyed Castiel and his bun in the oven. Bobby had been told of Castiel's little "bundle of joy" but the nephilim thing was new, "Weren't you already knocked up before? How can it turn into a nephilim all of a sudden?" Sam and Castiel looked at Dean, who slowly looked up from the pages from the couch. Bobby knocked his hat off in his cap as he pressed his palm to his head, "Boy, keep it in yer pants."

"It wasn't LIKE that." Dean's face grew to a nice red, flipping through the pages quickly, "How was I supposed to know this could happen? It was... heat of the moment, I swear." Sam made a funny twitch at the word choosing and looked back to his laptop, "I mean, if Gabriel's even telling the truth."

"Think it was all poppy cock?" Bobby looked between them as Castiel sat in a chair, upright and hands folded over his grace.

"Something... is different." Castiel admitted, "My grace is still somewhat intact, depleting less, but it's not yet time for the split. In all actuality, I should be out of Grace completely."

"What would happen then?" Sam asked and Castiel's shoulders rolled upwards in a stiff shrug.

"I don't know." Castiel's fingers gripped his white shirt, not wanting to think of that option.

Dean cleared his throat, bible open to the proper section, "_'When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, 'My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years.'__The Nephilim were on the earth in those days. And also afterward, when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.'_" He scanned the rest of the page, "then it goes on about how God is ashamed for making human being and kills them all." Dean scoffed, "This God is a regular Bukowski." Castiel frowned, eyes down cast to his burden, remembering his resurrection. Why would his father regret his creations? Castiel swore humans painted God in a very dark light in the bible.

"So angels came down and started painting the town red." Bobby picked up his bottle since he didn't have to pour over more books.

"That was Egypt, actually." Castiel said thoughtfully, remembering the plagues and how the streets were streaked with blood of the human firstborns that were slew. Even then Castiel could not quite bring himself to hurt an innocent child. "Several hundred years before that, many angels rebelled and broke away from heaven. Heaven believed that they started creating nephilim." Castiel looked to Dean, who had flipped to the other section Castiel had pointed out.

Dean blinked and looked down at the section, sihging because it was a long one, "_'The Lord says to Moses...'_"

"Skip to 30, Dean." Castiel advised from across the room and Dean scanned down.

"If you got it memorized, be my guest," Dean grumbled, flipping the page and he took a deep breath, "_'Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, 'We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.' But the men who had gone up with him said, 'We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are.' And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, 'The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there. We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them'_." Castiel focused on the words from Dean's mouth, which was peaceful in its own way, even while the tale itself was of woe.

"So they're big?" Sam concluded, glancing to his computer, "Says nephilim translates to giants."

"I think that's a very literal translation." Castiel gesture to himself, "I'm considered a giant in my true form to humans, but in this case is related to power. They look human and act human, and are anything but." They were something even an archangel would have concerns dealing with.

"Like Jesse." Sam concluded and Castiel confirmed with a nod. The parallels between a nephilim and a cambion were starting to concern Castiel, "But we won't know for sure for four months, right?"

"Yes." Castiel looked to Dean, who was pointedly avoiding eye contact now, "Dean."

"What?" Dean raised a brow at him.

"Do you believe the plan we made earlier was sufficient?"

"Oh, uh..." Dean frowned, as though remembering something, "We should look for a back up place. Just in case."

"Just in case...?" Sam prodded, pausing in his typing to look over his screen at his brother.

"In case, I don't know..." Dean tossed the bible on the table with Sam and sat up, "In case there's a pack of werewolves in the area or something."

"What the hell? Pack of werewolves?" Sam sat bolt upright, staring at Dean.

"Just look for a back up place is all I'm saying." Dean said and Sam sighed, fingers tapping away at the keys. Castiel gauged his strength. His wings were heavy, but still useful.

"I shall use the rest of my time to look for God." Castiel stood and Dean was up on his feet.

"Cas, what if you go graceless while looking for him," Dean lifted his hands in reason, "I can't drive half way across the country to pick you up if we get stuck working something."

"I'll be alright." Castiel spoke with confidence, "I'm rested from the encounter with Gabriel, I have plenty of strength." Dean frowned.

"Cas, how can I promise to be there for your big split if you zap out of here?" Dean argued. Castiel looked to the hunter.

"Dean, I have limited time as it is, I can't spend it sitting here because you're worried about my safety."

"I'm not just worried about your safety." Dean pointed to Castiel's belly, where the new angel, or possible nephilim hummed at the attention, "What if you get stuck, or caught and you can't get back, huh? What if you go into labor and the angels came down and take him? How the fuck am I supposed to help if you're half way across the planet?" Castiel's mouth parted, eyes looking downward for an answer, "Come on, Cas. You fell ASLEEP in the car. For four hours." Castiel pursed his lips for the longest time, staring into Dean's stern gaze.

"I... will stay." Relief flooded Dean's face, his shoulders dropping, "But only if I may come on hunts with you." Dean's teeth gritted, brows narrowing.

"But..."

"Those are my conditions. I refused to sit useless and burden Bobby's house."

"For the record, I second that motion." Bobby wheeled passed them to his way to the kitchen while 'the love birds had their pissing contest'; as Bobby had mumbled. Dean looked to Sam for help and Sam shrugged.

"You did want him to stay close, Dean." Sam offered, looking back to his laptop, "And come on, it's Cas, can't stop him from doing what he wants." Dean sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Fine. Fine." Dean relented, "Just, you know, stay within an hours drive or something." Dean watched as Castiel retired to the couch, sitting. Dean picked up the remote for the TV from the table and tossed it in Castiel's direction. Castiel caught it and inspected it. "You may as well catch up on your pop culture while you're here." He plopped down on the couch next to Castiel and pressed the power button while it was in Castiel's hands. Castiel looked down at the remote for a minute, then handed it back to Dean.

"I wouldn't know what to watch," Castiel said and Dean flipped through the channels as Bobby rolled in with a few beers.

"No makin' out on my sofa." Bobby returned to his desk and Dean sighed, knowing neither Bobby or Sam were going to let up because of what he did with Cas. Bobby also threw a book at Dean, which he barely caught before it his him in the face, "And don't be a lazy bum, learn somethin' while yer here." Castiel was handed the controller back by Dean after that and explored the world through a box full of radio waves and signals.


	17. Parthenogenesis

I've been waiting to post this chapter~ Because I haven't been able to fully explain Castiel's reproduction until now. And Back to December is completed for those who want to know what happened between Sam and Gabriel. Thank you everyone for your lovely comments so far :)

* * *

"Ha! I found it!" Sam announced maybe a little more expressively than he intended. Castiel glanced up from sitting on Bobby's desk and Dean woke with a start from the couch.

"What-what do I need ta kill?" Dean searched around blearily, searching for his knife that was not under the jacket he'd stuffed under his head at 2am.

"Oh, I uh..." Sam cleared his blurry vision with his hands and focused on the clock very hard. 3:57 am, "Sorry, I just, I think I found out how the angel became a nephilim." Dean groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"Damn it, Sam. I thought we were under attack." Dean's legs swung over and he propped himself upwards with his feet flat on the ground. Bobby had gone to bed long ago and Dean wished then he'd turned off the TV earlier; but Castiel has been intrigued by a TV show and Dean hadn't wanted to interrupt the peaceful spell in the room. Castiel put down the dusty tomb that was in a language that Dean could barely understand, even if he was fully awake.

"What did you find?" Castiel walked over to Sam, looking at the screen, the most awake and alert person there. Of course Dean remembered that Castiel had actually slept for 4 hours before they got there. It didn't mean Castiel was up to snuff yet.

"Parthenogenesis." Sam announced and Dean stared at his sibling, as though he couldn't believe he was serious.

"You stayed up all night to find a weird medical kink? Sick." Dean muttered half into his hands and Sam rolled his eyes.

"It's not a medical kink. Gross. It just bothered me that Cas is already pregnant and then he gets somehow... more pregnant." Sam looked to Cas before the angel could open his mouth to correct him, "Just let me get this out in human before you start correcting me, okay?" Castiel slowly closed his mouth and he walked back to sit back on Bobby's desk.

"Fine, how did Cas get more pregnant?" Dean dared to ask, reaching for the rest of the beer he swore he'd left on the floor.

"Well, since angels apparently can get pregnant on their own, it means they're asexual. But get this, there are different levels of asexual reproduction in nature. Many of which..." Dean waved his beer bottle around, giving Sam a pointed, tried eye look.

"Point Sam, get to the fucking point, I just woke up." Dean swallowed from the bottle and Sam sighed.

"Parthenogenesis. It is when an animal, or well, mostly insects, reproduce asexually, but they can also use normal sex to widen the genetic pool of their offspring." Sam made little gesturing motions towards his computer screen, the bags under his eyes were more obvious than usual, "Like bees." Dean's eyebrows slowly raised up.

"Cas is a bee? Well, now _all_ of the answers of the universe have been answered. I now know everything. I can die happy."

"No, look, shut up. I'm saying some of this makes sense." Sam took a deep breath, raking his hand through his hair, "Just listen. Queen bees lay eggs, all their lives. Eggs that are not fertilized are called drones. They only have one set of Chromosomes, and they are full clones, with no other DNA but that of the queen that laid it. Eggs that are fertilized become worker bees, with two sets of chromosomes and thus are different from the drones, who only have one purpose. What do you think?" Dean just stared, completely lost with what Sam was saying.

"Cas is... a bee?" Dean said slowly. All he knew was that bees made honey. What was so complicated about it? Sam deflated.

"You have no clue what I'm talking about, do you?" Sam ask.

"Fuck no." Dean laid down again, the empty beer bottle on the floor again. Sam looked at Cas, who's brows were raised in interest.

"Please tell me you get it, Cas." Sam begged and Cas focused on Sam.

"There may be some parallels, but I don't think you quite understand the rolls of queens, workers, and drones." Castiel mused thoughtfully. Sam's brows lowered.

"It's an example, Cas." Sam cast a frown at Dean's back, "In effort to educate Dean."

"Sleeping." Dean muttered loudly to the couch so Sam could clearly hear him.

"So, what you're saying is," Castiel looked down as his grace, placing a palm over the mound, "Angels begin to go through severance and what we produce is a 'clone' angel. But if we go through severance and sleep with a human, it becomes 'fertilized' and it becomes a nephilim. But instead of DNA and fertilization it's grace and human essence."

"Yes, YES, exactly!" Sam's hands gripped over his head in triumph as Castiel mulled over the idea. It made a strange sort of sense. "Because you keep saying angels are sexless, I mean what if you're not? What if you're all inherently female, or both, and this is what happens to reproduce? You said all angels naturally reproduce, right?"

"Yes..." Castiel frowned some, because he was raised knowing God was his father. But another angel made him... Castiel held his head, remembering the blurred outline of a dimmed grace, "But, why would Father design us to be like this?" Sam's smile fell, thinking quietly for a moment.

"Why can a werewolf or vampire bite change a human?" Sam countered and Castiel's eyes opened, blinking steadily, "Maybe, I don't know, it's blending science and... and paranormal." Sam yawned and closed his lap top, running his hands down his face again, "Maybe I'm going crazy, maybe it's nothing." Sam looked over when Dean snored, signaling he had returned to finish his sleep cycle. Castiel was in deep thought, looking at Dean with a gaze of... restrained want. Sam stood and plucked up his cell phone, "I... got to make a call." Castiel just nodded and Sam took his phone outside.

Once outside, Sam dialed a number and muttered a curse under his breath when the automated teller informed him that the number he called was no longer in service. It rang just fine a few weeks ago... Maybe Gabriel had finally decided to cut the last connection they had. It had been over a year since Sam had called it off. But Sam hadn't imagined a ringing phone for 4 months. Maybe Gabriel had been unsure as well. Sam decided not to give up just yet. He couldn't give up. There was another way to contact Gabriel now because Sam knew he was an angel. An archangel. GABRIEL the archangel. Sam clicked off his phone taking in a shaky breath. He hoped Gabriel heard his prayers and answered because shit, he screwed up. He just screwed everything up.

"Gabriel." he spoke, trying out the name, which was so odd after thinking Loki for so long, "Gabriel, it's.. it's me, Sam Winchester." He looked around and listened for the flutter of wings, or snap of fingers, but there was nothing. Of course, he had angel sigils carved into his ribs, just so angels couldn't find him, "I know, I'm the last person you want praying to you, but I really, really need to talk to you. I know I screwed up I know I did. I, I said things I didn't mean. I was so focused on killing Lilith that nothing else mattered and I'm really, really sorry for hurting you. Because you were only trying to help me. Please just... I want to talk. If... if you could open the line back up or, or call me. My number is the same..." He waited for a ring, anything. He did it correctly, right? He tentatively opened his phone and dialed the last number and held his breath as he pressed it to his ear...

"The number you have reached has been disconnected-"

Sam snapped the phone shut, "Damn it..." His shoulders drooped, "Come on, Gabriel... talk to me, please." His phone started ringing and he nearly dropped it from being startled. He quickly opened it, putting it to his hear, "H-hello? Ga..." Sam pursed his lips together into a thin line, hearing the voice. He closed his eyes, letting out a breath, "Hey. Hi... Becky. Yeah... How... how did you get this number?" Sam rubbed his eyes, feeling a headache, "Right... Chuck. Well Becky, it's really great to-" He hung up the phone and would remember to block her number later. He swept some gravel with his foot and headed inside, downtrodden.

Sam got into Bobby's and glanced in the living room, finding Dean had rolled over, still asleep and Castiel had moved a chair next to the couch, watching over him. Sam watched the scene for a moment then took a deep breath. Castiel didn't stir, but he watched Dean with soft focus and Dean slept on, unaware.

"I'm going to get some sleep." Sam muttered and Castiel barely responded with a nod of his head as Sam headed upstairs to the guest bedroom.


	18. Unanswered Prayers

(I had a couple people confused about how many souls were in Castiel, so I tweaked chapter 14 with Gabriel. Just to clarify, there's Jimmy's soul (Yeah, he's still stuck there) and the nephilim's soul.)

(Heavy Sabriel chapter)

* * *

"Hey... Gabriel, just wanted to let you know... I'm alive I guess. I... guess you don't really want to know that though. You um, you probably want the opposite fact to be true. Sorry, just, praying is odd since I know it's you and you're mad at me. And you have every right to be pissed at me. I screwed up. I screwed up a lot. I screwed up the whole world. I should have listened to you. I know I shouldn't have been an idiot, and I should have listened to you, because you were right. You were right about everything. Please, call me."

"Gabriel, open the line back up, or call me. Please. I'm sorry about Ruby. I know now that it was stupid. I know that now. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. She was tricking me since the moment I met her. It was stupid, so very, very, very stupid. I'm an idiot. She... She's dead now. I know that doesn't make up for anything. It doesn't make up for what I did. It doesn't make up for anything. But, I know now. I know I made a stupid choice and I want to make up for it. We're adults, we can talk this out." There was a short pause, "Right?"

"Gabriel I'm uh, I'm going on a case with Dean and Cas. But I still want you to call me. Cause I'll stop in the middle of a case to talk to you. Please? Just call me. I mean, maybe you deleted my number. It's 555-7654. Just... in case. You know."

"Gabriel, please, open the line up. I want to at least know you're hearing me. I want to apologize in person instead of over a prayer line that may or may not work. I mean, Dean prays to Cas, or prayed to Cas. I'm not sure if you can hear or not because you haven't been in Heaven or connected to Heaven for thousands of years. I'm not even sure if it works like that." There was a deep sigh. "Look, just call me tonight. Or a text. or something that let's me know that you hear me. Please."

"Okay, Gabriel..." The slur of words were slow and sad with alcohol. "I said a LOT of shitty, shitty, bad things that night. I really did. I didn't mean a word of it. Because you were the only one trying to help me past Dean's death. Death... -ths. Deaths. Point is, you tried to help me move on, but I couldn't. I couldn't move on. I... I still don't think I could. But... I mean, for the first month you were there... I was depressed, but I was stable. I had you. You kept me stable."

"Mm, Gabriel," There were more slurs, but more wispy, "Do you remember the first case we were on? Or rather, the first night we met on. When you were a janitor and I was the cable guy? I mean, yeah, you startled me at first cause hell, I was too scared to try anything with any one. Especially since I was on the road with Dean again and I didn't want him to find out, cause you know, he'd never let me live it down. I think it just pissed him off more to learn I kept something else from him... But um, you know, I still think about you. Especially when I'm all alone... got the hotel room to myself, cause we finished the case and I think Dean and Cas are on some sort of date. Dean's all Big Daddy with Cas' nepha... nimlim... nephilimin. Baby... Gabriel, I just want to hear your voice, like it used to be..."

"Oh Lo-Gabriel... Oh fuck..." There were low keened whimpers, "Oh Gabriel, I loved it when you fucked me deep. Deep and hard and mmnn, fuck... fingers are never enough. I just miss you. In me, on me, under me, fuck, oh fuck..." a low groan later, "Gabriel!"

"Gabriel, if you ever talk to me again, remind me to never, ever drink again. Dean is an asshole. Make the loud music stop, please. "

There was a low sigh, "God, Gabe, I don't even know if you can hear me. I don't even care anymore if you can or not because if you are, you're ignoring me. So fine, if you can hear me, I'm going to keep doing this until you call me. Because I haven't changed my number, and I know you're not just going to just forget it. I miss you. I miss _you_, not just the sex. I miss laying in bed together, and laughing. I really miss laughing. Fuck, I miss smiling. Your jokes were really corny you know, and you're such a dick with that Asia song, but you were always smiling. … Gabe, please. I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you. I didn't mean it when I said I didn't need you..."

"Hey Gabe. Cas is okay. So's Dean. No, we still haven't said yes to your brothers. We're looking at a place where Cas can have his nephilim. I think... Dean and Cas have this thing. This really deep thing that I've never seen before. I mean, I think it started weeks ago. Cause... I've never seen Dean get so worried about anyone else. Not even me. I think he's really taking this baby thing pretty personally. Probably because it is half his-"

* * *

Sam's phone buzzed in his hand and he opened the unknown number, "Hello."

"For Heaven, Earth, and Hell's sake, Sam. Stop praying to me every 20 minutes!" Gabriel groaned on the other end.

"G-Gabriel." Sam nearly knocked over his chair as he stood up from the table where he, Castiel and Dean were sitting at the diner table across from him. Castiel had been eying Dean's burger with curiosity for the past few minutes. Both of them stared at Sam as he stood. Sam realized the ruckus he'd made and motioned for both of them to give him some time. Sam walked out of the door for some air and a more private talk.

"Yes, please SHUT up. This has been going on for 2 weeks straight." Gabriel stressed. Sam turned down the side of the building where there were no people.

"Please, Gabriel, I just really want to talk to you, please. Please, please..." Sam got in as many words as he could, unsure of Gabriel would hang up on him, "Just 5 minutes, please, it's all I want... I just need to talk to you for 5 minutes..."

"You made it pretty clear what you really needed was a demon bitch to coddle your stubborn revenge rampage. And you got what you wanted. I'm NOT helping you on your suicidal adventure to stop Lucifer..."

"I don't want to talk to you about the fucking devil." Sam breathed out sharply and took a deep inhale, wiping his eyes with his sleeves because he was really worked up. "I need to talk to you about us."

"...us." Gabriel repeated dryly.

"Yes, because I need you."

There was an exhausted sigh, "Sam..."

"You don't have to help us. You really don't. I won't ask you to, but... but damn it, I want to fix this with you because I screwed up everything. I let my anger take over my life and I hurt you. I said things that I never meant. And when you said you loved me, I should have said I loved you too, because I do. And... and it scares the hell out of me because the last person I loved like this burst into flames..."

"Sam, stop."

"Gabriel, please. I don't care if you're an angel, or a trickster, or what ever..."

"Well what if I don't love you anymore?" Gabriel's tone was flat, stern. Cold. Sam found it hard to breath. His chest was locked up and tight. He couldn't speak and his eyes burned, "What if I don't need you? What if you're the one who brought on the end of the world and you're getting just what you deserve?" Sam had to try hard but he swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing himself to intake air.

"Why... why do you keep saying 'What if'?" Sam countered shakily. It was quiet and then Gabriel sighed. It was long and suffering sounding, but in a slight uptight of dramatic up tic at the end.

"Where are you?" Gabriel asked, "I might just pop over to see you cry your heart out." Sam looked around uneasily, seeing a few people walk by the alley.

"Housatonic, Massachusetts ." Sam murmured, digging his shoe into the alley grime, head lowered, "In the alley of the Village Diner."

"Really?" Gabriel scoffed over the phone, "You give out info too easily. You know I could kill you with a thought, right?" Sam looked around, up and down the alley, but Gabriel didn't poof over like Castiel did behind him and Dean all the time. He even looked up, to see of Gabriel was on the roof over the diner. It was just gray skies. Sam blinked his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Why haven't you?" Sam breathed.

"Duh, Lucifer's vessel? The assholes upstairs would only bring you back. And honestly, I don't get a kick out of killing you like I do Dean." Sam pressed himself against the brick of the other building.

"You... knew I was the vessel the whole time." Sam's voice was soft and there was a long pause on the other side of the line, "The whole time."

"Yes." his voice was sharp and crisp.

"Then why... why did you come onto me in the first place?" Sam swallowed, remembering Gabriel in his janitor's uniform, starting this whole thing because he'd seduced Sam.

"Because, I foolishly thought that I could alter your decisions." Gabriel breathed out, "I thought it didn't have to be this way. I thought, you know what, maybe he just needs someone after his brother dies. Maybe he won't make all the wrong choices. Getting complicated wasn't exactly in the plan." Sam swallowed, an icy feeling of regret was settling into his bones again.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, "We're trying to stop it, I'm not going to say yes. I'm never going to agree..."

"Yes, you will."

The words chilled Sam, freezing his promise.

"Sam, please." Gabriel sounded tired, "I know. I know every possible way this ends. You say yes, every single time. I know it. Heaven knows it. Lucy knows it. You know it. The only gamble in the plan is _when_."

"Is... is that why you won't speak to me?" Sam stood straighter, "Because I'm going to say yes for some unknown reason, and you're just going to let me?"

"It's easier."

"Easier than what?" Sam scowled, "Easier than talking to me face to face? God, Dean was right about you..."

"It's _easier,_" Gabriel enunciated, "Than seeing you standing there in front of me in a few years and knowing that it's not you looking back."

Sam went quiet, breathing out the air that was in his lungs, "You mean..."

"You know exactly what I mean." Gabriel said gravely. Sam remembered that everyone assumed he was going to say yes to Lucifer. But Sam, no matter who had left him, couldn't let Lucifer possess him to hurt Dean or anyone else.

Sam closed and rubbed his eyes. They were watering again, "I love you-"

"Sam, stop it."

"-and I know you still care about me or you wouldn't have called me." Sam swallowed but there was no protest, "I understand if you can't forgive me for picking Ruby or making bad decisions, even for everything I said... but don't say you can't forgive me for something I haven't even done yet." He shut his cell phone and shoved both hands into his jeans pockets. He took a few deep breathes, alone in the alley. The only sound in the area now was the traffic and the sound of people. Sam told himself he should have yelled more at Gabriel but... he wasn't sure if he could even forgive himself. How could he expect Gabriel to do it? Sam shuffled to the mouth of the alley, trying to think of something to tell Dean and Castiel about the call. He turned the corner to go back into the diner, but someone grabbed his wrist once he walked past the brick wall and yanked him. Sam jerked around and he straightened, seeing Gabriel leaning against the wall, looking up at Sam with a pensive stare, "Gabriel..." Sam whispered.

"You hung up on me after all that time begging me to call?" Gabriel leaned his head forward, raising his brows. "Rude."

"I uh..." Sam's body went lax and he felt his knees go numb, "How long were you standing there?"

"As soon as I could." Gabriel admitted wearily.

"Gabriel..." Sam breathed.

"You're stupid." Gabriel stated, but there was no malice, "You're all so stupid, fighting something you can't stop."

Sam swallowed, "Can't say we're not trying." Gabriel eyed him, his grip was unyielding and Sam didn't even try to break away. Gabriel lifted his head a little more and he released Sam.

"I guess I'm stupid too." Gabriel sighed, shoulders dropping, "And a sentimental fool." Sam dared to smile lightly.

"I love you." Sam murmured, as though all the times he said it made up for the one time he didn't. Gabriel rolled his head and eyes, looking away from Sam.

"I am going to tell you this only because you're stubborn and hard headed." Gabriel looked at Sam again, sticking his hands in his pockets and leaning more against the brick wall, "Because... there's a way to open Lucifer's cage again." Sam's head lifted, eyes widening. "The key is on earth. Actually, keys. I know you have one, from the horse men. But you need all four to open it back up. And how you get Lucifer into it again is your own business." Sam nodded twice and his hand touched Gabriel's shoulder.

"Thank you." Sam said and Gabriel's hand slipped up, grabbing Sam's collar, dragging him down into a kiss. Sam fell against him, leaning both hands heavily on Gabriel's shoulders, but the angel was sturdy as a boulder, even for being a head shorter. The kiss was deep and hard, part frustration and part longing. It was anything but the welcome pecks and playful kisses Sam remembered from long ago. Even though it was angry, the heat of it left a lasting impression, and stole Sam's breath away.

"I'm sending you to your own demise and you're thanking me." Gabriel breathed against Sam's lips.

"Yeah..." Sam breathed back. Gabriel's face scrunched up, and he held Sam tighter and then gave him a little shake.

"Don't... screw it up this time." Gabriel warned and pushed Sam back. Sam stumbled back a few feet, finding Gabriel gone with a wave of his hand. Sam wondered exactly what 'it' was referring to and he looked around, finding people were giving him weird looks. He ducked his head and pulled up his coat collar up, heading back into the diner, where Dean was just forking out the money for the bill. Sam felt a vibration in his pocket, but he steered right towards his brother and Castiel first.

Dean took one look at Sam and grimaced, "The hell happened to you?"

"Nothing, nothing," Sam felt his face briefly, finding it hot, probably red, "I just got some news. Let me get my salad to go and..." He looked down at the table, finding two empty plates, "... My salad." It wasn't where Sam had left it.

"Yeah uh... turns out Cas is hungry now." Dean gestured offhandedly to Castiel, who looked sorrowful for his actions.

"I apologize, the hunger has been paining me for hours." Castiel's head lowered in shame.

"It... It's fine." Sam ran his fingers through his hair. There were too many surprising things going on at the same time, "Just... We can pick up something on the way. I have something to tell you two."

"Boyfriend forgive ya?" Dean raised a brow at Sam and Sam looked away. Sam wasn't sure if it was forgiveness or pity.

"He... he told me about opening Lucifer's cage." Sam said and they left the diner, Sam explaining about the keys as they got into the Impala.

The only time Sam got to check his cell phone was back at the motel while Dean was talking very close to Castiel on Dean's bed and Sam couldn't bear to watch them stare at each other any longer. He opened his phone and his heart lept when he found a text message.

Unknown:

PS. Don't pray to me any more when you're masturbating. It's very distracting. - Gabriel

Sam's face flushed and he ran his hands over his face, vowing to never get drunk again.


	19. First Dates

Morning everyone, I did a little edit on chapter 1, I added the full summary that as been on the AO3 and I feel silly for not adding it earlier. Well, better late than never. :) I really appreciate all your comments thus far, so thank you everyone.

* * *

Dean had dragged Castiel along on a food run, leaving Sam to sort the information they found out about the current case they were working on. Castiel was showing more signs of humanity; hunger and sleep. Castiel was indulging in one of those needs as they were parked outside from a local park 'n eat joint. Dean had a to-go bag for Sam in the back seat and Dean watched Castiel eagerly eating his own burger. Dean was part way through his and watched Castiel instead of the rollerskating waitresses. Dean knew they hadn't talked about anything since Sam was back. There just hadn't been the time or the place. And then over three months had passed without a moment to stop.

"It's weird to see you eat." Dean stated. Castiel chewed thoughtfully and swallowed.

"It is... odd." Castiel agreed, "But I do not have enough grace to uphold my vessel's condition. Human bodies require subsidence." Castiel looked at his burger with a slight expression of guilt, "It's almost compulsive. To keep functioning I have to eat..." Dean rolled his shoulders in a shrug and took another bite of his own bacon burger; he tucked it into his cheek before he spoke.

"Don't feel bad, we all have to." Dean paused after the slight pained look Castiel gave him. That's right, angels didn't eat, "Well... you don't eat too much."

"I try not to, but it's getting harder." Castiel sighed, "And sleeping..."

"Where have you been sleeping?" Dean asked with creased brows. He'd only witnessed it once and that was weeks ago. Castiel glanced into the back seat of the Impala, "Cas..."

"It takes less grace to open the lock than flying in." Castiel mumbled and took another bite of his burger.

"You know... you can come inside the motel." Dean paused, "We'll find you a spot."

"It's fine, Dean. I didn't want to disturb you." Castiel was looking out the windshield, avoiding Dean's gaze. Dean stared at Castiel because Castiel was the one that was going through severance, becoming human, loosing his grace...

"You can use my bed tonight." Dean said plainly. Castiel eyed Dean and shook his head.

"Dean, you need your rest from hunting." Castiel said reasonably.

"We'll share." Dean said without thinking, "I mean, you can sleep when we're not there too. Come on, Baby is an amazing runner, but she's not made for a good night's sleep." Castiel watched Dean and he looked more tired than usual.

"I suppose I will if you'll allow it." Castiel concluded, followed by a stretch of silence.

"How's Nem doin'?" Dean asked finally and Castiel looked down at his belly, which was doused in crumbs and sesame seeds.

"He is stabilized." Castiel concluded after a moment, "Three more months at most." Dean looked at Castiel's belly and eased into the corner, between the seat and door to get a better view of the angel.

"Not much has changed." Dean observed and Castiel quirked his head curiously, "I mean, you don't look more pregnant after we did it." Castiel frowned and Dean rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean." Castiel looked down at his burger in thoughts and his hands rested in his lap, face turning out the window.

"Perhaps it's not noticeable, but it has changed. Nemamiah's entire chemistry has been altered. It is heavier. The grace has something added to it." Castiel went silent and Dean munched quietly on his remaining burger. Half of Castiel's burger was in his hands still, but Dean remembered that Castiel didn't just eat burgers and fries. He ate Sam's salads and fruits as well. Sam was all too happy to point out what a well balanced meal was supposed to be. But he didn't eat as much as a regular person. Definitely not like a pregnant woman.

Dean crumpled up the wrapper of his burger and tossed it into the bag. It wasn't like he hadn't thought of talking to Castiel about all of this, but it was uncomfortable and mushy. Dean wasn't sure if Castiel even wanted to do it again; then he wondered if Castiel even knew how to ask. Then thinking back to future Castiel reminded him that he didn't. And well, future Cas was really, super smooth. It was hard to believe Castiel had ever been the stiff angel of Heaven he'd known with Uriel looming over him...

"Gabriel is right." Castiel said slowly, looking at Dean.

"'Bout what?" Dean was pulled from his thoughts, mostly impure ones.

"That there's a soul here," Castiel ran his palm over his belly, "not just grace. There's no doubt that Nemamiah is yours as well." There was a softness to the statement; it wasn't accusing at all. Dean sat up straighter and took in a deep breath, staring at Castiel. Castiel gave him a soft smile and all those previous thoughts washed away.

It sort of hit Dean then; Nemamiah was part his. _And Castiel was okay with that._ Dean swallowed; shit, he was going to be a dad. An actual dad. Not like the Ben-scare; that wasn't really a scare. More like the Lisa-disappointment. Because yeah, he wanted that. He wanted that apple-pie life sometimes. It was impossible, he knew, but he did wonder sometimes, about what he was leaving behind. Especially during the Apocalypse.

Castiel was back to consuming his burger in the silence and Dean leaned over, taking the hand that was rested over the belly. He grasped it and pressed it into the soft worn leather of the seats. Castiel looked at their hands, swallowing what he had bitten. Dean smiled a little, mostly because Castiel had ketchup on his lower lip and partly because he really was happy.

"Y'know... I don't regret what we did." Dean said and a few lines of stress eased from Castiel's face and the angel smiled.

"Neither do I." Castiel admitted warmly. It was nice moment and Castiel's thumb pressed against Dean's. The moment was never quite long enough, Dean felt. Castiel glanced to the backseat, seeing the purchased doggy bag, "Sam will be hungry." Dean's hand slid away from Castiel's, reminded that his brother was back at the motel.

"Right. Should probably feed him, I guess." Dean turned the Impala's ignition on. Castiel polished off his burger and he cleaned the condiment from his face with his thumb. He simply did not 'grace' it away and Dean noticed that more than he usually would have.


	20. Kodak Moments

Somehow I forgot to completely upload the next chapter (I had it in Doc Manager). I'm really sorry for the delay guys. I'll post last week's and this week's today.

* * *

Sam rubbed his eyes as he heard the Impala's distinct engine hum pull up next to the motel door. He closed his laptop, effectively done with research for the night. He was tired and hungry. He just hoped their current case was as simple as it looked; a simple salt and burn. Of course the Winchester's definition of simple varied greatly.

"Food delivery." Dean sang as he opened the door, plastic bag in hand and Castiel was following him in. Dean plopped the Styrofoam container into Sam's outstretched hands and Castiel shut the door after them. There was a upbeat tone from Sam's phone and Sam picked it up to check it as he opened his container. It was a text from Gabriel; And his phone had it properly labeled now. Gabriel had sent him a snide remark about Dean and Castiel going on a date and Sam could not deny that it looked that way. After all, Dean and Castiel had already consumed their food and the TV was turned on to Dr. Sexy MD; apparently Gabriel's TV Land had not spoiled Dean's obsession for the show. Sam tapped the keys on his cell.

Sam:

[Would you consider Dr. Sexy an after date program?]

Gabriel:

[Psh, of course.]

And if it's the correct episode, it could very well lead to some heavy petting

Sam grimaced and hoped that wasn't the case.

Sam:

[I hope not. I don't want to see that.]

"Who the hell are you texting?" Dean asked from his bed with the remote in hand. Castiel had taken up a chair that angled towards the TV better but was currently giving Sam a curious look as well.

"Just... Gabriel." Sam turned his cell to mute. It wasn't like he'd seen Gabriel since the diner. It was sort of casual talk; not something they'd done before over the phone. It was odd to be in contact with Gabriel and not be able to look at him. Gabriel seemed to be an avid texter though.

"He's texting you a conversation?" Dean was giving Sam a look of raised brows and a half curled upper lip, "Kind of douchy, don't you think." Sam's face flushed in annoyance. He would not mention that he and Jess had done it between classes.

"Shut up and watch your doctor crush on TV." Sam retaliated and Dean shot him back a glare. Sam continued his conversation which hovered around Dean and Gabriel's obsession with Dr. Sexy; which concluded with the fact that Gabriel liked the man's sexy body and long hair which shouldn't have surprised Sam all that much. Sam ate his dinner, which was the Caesar salad he'd asked for and once it was late enough he crawled into bed, sending Gabriel one last good night text.

The TV was turned off and Dean hopped into bed after getting prepped for the night. Dean had his hand on the lamp knob but looked to Castiel, who had moved to the table where there was a smaller lamp. Castiel had one of their mythology books about Norse gods open and held in one hand as he scanned the history through the eyes of humans.

"Gonna sleep, Cas?" Dean asked and Sam watched them tiredly. They didn't have any other furniture in that motel room but the chairs and beds.

"I'm not yet tired, Dean." Castiel took in a breath and stifled a potential yawn, "You need your rest to hunt the ghost tomorrow." Dean hesitated but the lamp clicked off and there was only the street lights from outside and

Castiel's little lamp, which didn't stop Sam from dozing off.

However, Sam awoke with movement in the room and he resisted stretching when he saw Dean was out of bed and coming back from the bathroom. But instead of going straight to bed, Dean walked over to Castiel, who's face was buried in his curled arm on the table and he used the book as a pillow. Dean's hand rubbed Castiel's arm, Castiel's body giving a surprised jerk awake and Dean shushed him quietly, reaching over to turn off the lamp light.

"Dean." Castiel's low, sleep filled voice acknowledged the hunter.

"Get your ass over to the bed. You can't say you're not tired now." Dean muttered and Sam watched their outlines. Dean pulled Castiel up, supporting his arm and guiding the weary angel to the bed. Castiel didn't protest, instead, he ended up taking Dean's warm spot and Dean sat on the other side of the bed.

"I wanted to watch over you." Castiel sighed as he sank into the pillows. All Sam could see now was Castiel's trench coat back. It wasn't like Castiel had any clothes to change into. Dean laid down on the other side of the bed and covers were maneuvered over both of them.

"Yeah, I know, buddy." Dean said quietly, "Get some sleep." Castiel hummed and Sam listened for any more signs of consciousness but there was none.

Sam rolled over to continue sleeping, somewhat reminded of his own space in the bed next to him. It wasn't as though Gabriel had dove willingly back into bed, and that wasn't exactly what Sam was looking for either. The casual texting was nice, it kept the contact, but it seemed a mediating point; as though Gabriel himself was trying to figure out how much he wanted from this. What ever was left of what they had. The kiss from earlier reminded him of the heat they'd once had, but there had been no appearance or words of security for something more. It was an odd, suspended moment, as though on the brink of a decision. Sam just hoped it wasn't another ending, and that he didn't do something stupid that would drive Gabriel off again.

Sam glanced back at the other bed. Dean seemed genuinely okay with everything that was happening with Castiel. Happy even. He wasn't sure if Castiel and his brother were actually an item or what. But there was something there. Sam took a deep breath and closed his eyes, willing himself not to think about it too much. They had to hunt tomorrow.

After a few more hours sleep, Sam was the first to wake up. He stretched and looked to Dean's bed, where he found Castiel had rolled over and his head was not on the pillow he'd first laid it upon. There was an arm wrapped around Castiel's waist, hand pressing against the round belly. Sam slowly got up to get a better look and he slowly unplugged his phone from the charger. Dean's other arm was under Castiel's neck, supporting most of his head up and Dean's face was pressed into the nape of Castiel's back, buried in the trench coat and one foot was between Castiel's ankles. The only reason Sam could tell about the feet was because one of them or maybe both of them had kicked off the blankets.

Sam opened his phone and pinched his tongue between his lips as he took a Kodak moment photo of them and saved it immediately on his way to the bathroom. He also sent it to Gabriel, mentioning that there was no heavy petting, but that it looked pretty successful.

Gabriel:

[Seriously, who sleeps in all of their clothes?]

Sam smiled and texted once more before he took his shower.

Sam:

[Really tired humans.]

Gabriel:

[Mm, Touche`.]


	21. Paternity Pants

(Set after 5.13, The Song Remains The Same)

* * *

"Cas, you don't have to wear a suit every day." Dean breathed out impatiently, "You CAN wear t-shirts and jeans." Castiel looked discontentedly at the t-shirt in his hand, stretching dark the fabric.

"It just... seems so unfeasible." Castiel murmured, looking back to the clean pressed packaged suit shirts and ties only a few rows of clothes away.

"They're freaking expensive." Dean already had a new duffel bag in hand; stuffed with toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, razor, etc. Normal human supplies. A manual maintenance kit for graceless angels. Castiel had next to nill grace left thanks to zapping back from the past after Sam and Dean saved their parents from Anna. Or rather, when Michael roasted Anna with fire; the image still didn't settle in Dean's gut. Castiel was attempting to ration his last reserves for an emergency; so he said. Thus normal human functions were starting up full force. For example, Castiel was learning to sleep, eat, shower, and go to the bathroom. The trench coat and suit were not as springtime fresh as they had been a week ago, "Basics, Cas. Basics." Castiel sighed, tired. Castiel folded and placed the t-shirt back on the stack. It must have been engrained in angels that they had to wear suits, Dean decided. He'd had no idea Castiel would be so picky with simple clothing, "Pick what you like, just nothing fancy. It's only going to get ripped later. And you can't just magic it back together again."

Sam had escaped them to restock the Impala with salt and water and was probably already listening to terrible music on the radio as he waited for them. Dean was really anxious to get back on the road instead of showing Castiel how to be human. He did not sign up for this. Sure it had its perks, like waking up with a warm body next to his with the warm vibration of Nemamiah against his hand. It was also nice to have someone not scoff at him when he started jamming and singing to his rock on the long, quiet drive. It was also a bit endearing to see Castiel try new foods. But teaching Castiel how to shave had been an adventure and a half, and telling Castiel that he needed to brush his teeth was just not something Dean felt he should have to do. Sure, he'd done it with Sam, but Sam was a baby and a kid when that was happening. Castiel was a full grown man/angel. It just made him think _'Baby in a trench coat'_

"This." Castiel finally emerged and unfurled a sample shirt and pants. Dean looked up from the music graphic shirts and stared at the loose blue shirt and a pair of green yoga pants. They looked damn similar to what Dean had seen future Castiel wearing. Castiel lifted his head, "They're durable, loose fitted, and around the average price of your own clothes selections." Dean couldn't speak a moment but he realized Castiel was awaiting his approval.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Dean hesitated, "Do they fit?" Castiel blinked.

"I'm not sure." Castiel said thoughtfully and Dean rolled his eyes and directed Castiel to the fitting rooms.

"Just try them on." Dean said and closed Castiel in one of the rooms; leaving Castiel to his own devices. Dean folded his arms and leaned against the flimsy walls. Dean waited and gave the older sales woman an awkward smile. Guys just didn't shop together; what made it more awkward was that Castiel was a full grown man needing help with the basic tasks. And he was taking forever with trying on the clothes. Dean knocked on the door after 5 minutes, "Cas, what's the hold up?"

"Nothing." Castiel replied after a moment and Dean raised a brow. He gave it another few seconds before he tried the knob. Of course Castiel didn't think to lock the door; angels normally did that with their mojo. And it wasn't as though he hadn't seen Castiel naked before. He peered in and Castiel looked up from the full length mirror. He had the loose legged yoga pants on and they were a tight fit around the belly. His hair was still a mess from the morning shower and there was a thin layer of scruff on his jaw; because Castiel disliked shaving. He'd cut himself pretty bad the first time. Castiel went still, one arm around his belly, the other rested on his own shoulder. Dean raised a brow and stepped in, closing the door after himself.

"Well..." Dean walked over to him and he shrugged awkwardly. "They fit?"

"Mm, yes." Castiel looked back to the mirror, resting his chin back on his knuckles and his thumb moved down his stomach. Dean let out a slow breath and stood behind Castiel.

"Try on the shirt yet?" Dean asked and Castiel nodded. Dean's hand rested on Castiel's hip, where he felt where the belly started stretching, "What ya looking at then?"

"My vessel." Castiel said simply with a soft breath, he moved his arms, looking at his remaining grace, "There's nearly a week left in severance." Dean blinked, realizing how fast the past few months had flown.

"Yeah..." Dean realized they were in February again. A year ago, Castiel was still a full fledged angel, following orders in heaven; angel pregnant. A lot had happened within the year. "Are you... feeling okay." Castiel sighed.

"Not really." Castiel met Dean's eyes in the mirror, "If I survive the split, I will be be fully condemned to humanity." Dean's hand slid around, fingers splaying out on the warm flesh that tingled his fingers.

"You'll survive." Dean promised, though he couldn't tell at the moment if that eased Castiel's concern or fueled it. "And being human ain't so bad." Castiel scoffed his opinion, "And you'll have Nem." the soft smile graced Castiel's mouth, the one that Dean was starting to like more and more.

"Dean." Castiel tilted his head back after a moment of warm silence. Dean hummed, showing he was listening, even though he was focusing on Castiel's belly in the reflection. Castiel took a moment to wet his lips with his tongue, "I want you to kiss me." Dean blinked up at him in the mirror and Castiel pursed his lips because Dean didn't react right away, "I really enjoyed it, and you haven't since we had intercourse." Dean took a deep breath.

"There's been a lot going on." Dean said slowly, "We haven't exactly..." He caught Castiel's eyes in the mirror again and he wasn't sure why he was making excuses. Yeah, Sam was usually there and kissing Castiel in front of his brother just seemed weird when ever he thought about it. And for the record, Castiel didn't know how to act like he wanted to be kissed and hadn't kissed him either. Dean would have to work on that.

Dean turned Castiel's head and caught his lips with his. Castiel's mouth was soft in return, nothing like the first kiss. Right off the bat it was warm and comfortable. Dean was used to the heat of sex between kisses; hard and fast. But this was on a separate level. This one made him pull Castiel closer; made him want to keep the angel right there in his arms. Castiel's hands tightened against Deans, also squeezing closer into the warmth. A content sigh left Castiel as they slowly parted, smile on his face, eyes focusing on Dean. Yeah, Dean realized, he could get used to that.

"You know, I don't have to be the one to start it." Dean pointed out, "You can kiss me."

Castiel's fingers laced with Dean's fingers, which was on his shoulder, "You would allow it?"

Dean leaned his chin on Castiel's shoulder, feeling Nemamiah reverberate through Castiel's flesh against his palm, "Just, try to do it in private. You know, when Sam isn't around." Castiel nodded, his fingers running over Dean's knuckles, content with their connection. It felt right.

"I suppose I'll need more than one set of clothes." Castiel mused after a moment of looking back in the mirror.

"Yeah." Dean shrugged, "Hey, how did your suit fit with that gut?"

"I used my grace to expand the fabric." Castiel explained, "I... suppose I'll need normal clothes for when my flesh contracts again."

"Do you even know what your waist size was?" Dean raised a brow and Castiel shook his head. Dean frowned, "We'll have to get you something." Dean's hand slid down to tug at the loose green pants, "These pants look stupid on you." Castiel's brow crinkled.

"They're comfortable." Castiel defended.

"No doubt, but they really scream maternity pants."

"I found them in the male's section. Thus they are paternity pants." Castiel lifted his head, almost proudly and Dean couldn't help but smile.

"Sure, fine, paternity pants. What ever you like."

Castiel looked in the mirror, tilting his head slightly and he looked over at Dean on his shoulder and kissed the side of Dean's temple and leaned in more against Dean. Dean only smiled a bit, but regretfully he pulled back, though not before leaving a kiss on Castiel's nape.

"Come on, let's finish up so we can grab some grub." Dean picked up the shirt and Castiel's pants. He paused and checked the pants tag, wondering if Castiel left the tag alone, because it should have still had the original size.

Castiel's nose crinkled and he pushed down the yoga pants, revealing his briefs, "I do not wish to hold bug larvae, Dean." Dean rolled his eyes and and turned, pausing to take in Castiel's body. He figured he should have been less okay with Castiel being good looking full and pregnant, but hell, there was something about it that just thrilled, amazed, and awed him.

"Um, I meant food." Dean explained, handing Castiel's pants to him and Dean made note that Castiel needed more underwear... which sort of put other dirty possibilities in his mind, "Not bugs." Castiel dressed and folded the clothes they were going to purchase. Dean cleared his throat and opened the changing room door; again, eager to get out of the store.


	22. Due Date

Guess what time it is guys.

* * *

Castiel awoke from a dream. Dreams were still new to him. They were somewhat familiar. He'd visited many humans' dreams since coming to stop the apocalypse; mainly Dean's. He often liked Dean's dreams, when they were not of Hell. His own he found very hard to hold on to once consciousness gripped him. Often leaving a taste of a local park that he thought Dean and he had talked at, but then it disappeared, leaving him with an after taste of loss.

Castiel rolled over, finding Dean's warmth in the middle of the night. The room was all shadows. Dean mumbled something incoherent, even as Castiel stole a kiss from the corner of his mouth. Castiel's vision was dictated by the light now, so he could only see remembered shallows of Dean's face.

Castiel wondered why he was wake.

He listened and glanced over his shoulder at Sam, who was illuminated better by the street light from the window. Castiel sat up, only dressed in his new pants and shirt. His rubbed his eyes before scanning the room. It was so quiet. He scratched his fingers through his own hair and started rubbing a kink from his neck. Some motel beds were just so uncomfortable. Castiel huffed out a quiet breath, wondering if humans thought of these sorts of things.

Castiel ran a hand down his stomach, a habit he didn't even pay any attention to anymore. But... He noticed it then. He ran his fingers back up the flesh, where it was still hard. Where he knew from previous months that there was a nephilim sleeping.

Silence.

Castiel listened. He listened so hard he heard his own heartbeat in his ears, but there was no more hum. Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes, listening for the hum of consciousness that he'd been sharing for over a year. It was as though someone had turned off the cracking radio and there was nothing but empty silence.

Castiel slowly eased his way back onto the bed on his side and he swallowed, wanting to ignore his shaky arms. 17 months had passed so quickly. He knew it would arrive one day, but not this soon. If he were unfallen, he would have already returned to Heaven. There was no such option for him now. Castiel pressed his face into Dean's shoulder and tucked his arm under Dean's, which seemed so warm and tightened reflexively with the movement.

"Mm, Cas?" Dean found consciousness but he didn't sound completely committed to it.

"Sorry if I disturbed you." Castiel murmured, pressing closer. He didn't want to worry Dean about it now. He wanted at least wait until the sun came up before he had to move from this. Dean may have been fully confident in their plan, but Castiel knew the angels that would come for him; he did not think they had a very good chance at survival, "Can you hold me tighter?"

Dean's arms complied before Dean could even formulate a thought, "Everything alright?"

"Mm... Bad dream." Castiel lied, wanting the moment to be drawn out without the stress of his split making Dean's body tense. Dean's hand rubbed his spine and it loosened the knots in Castiel's belly.

"Yeah, those suck." Dean replied without much thought and Castiel sighed into the warmth, wanting to memorize everything. Castiel remembered nights where Dean had woken up from nightmares; drenched in sweat and body ridged with horror. Dean never wanted to talk about them and Castiel never asked him to. And since they started sharing a bed and sleep cycle, they continued. But with time, they dissipated and most nights were relatively unbroken.

Dean fell back asleep that night, but Castiel did not. He watched the sun rise. He watched Sam and Dean take practiced steps to get ready for the day. Washing, dressing, and morning habits were unthought of. Castiel watched Dean walk around the motel room, talking to Bobby and at the same time, taking bites of his breakfast burrito whilst also searching for a clean shirt. Castiel was still extra mindful in the bathroom and he carefully shaved; not because he liked to, but he wanted something to distract himself and for some reason that was easier with a bade in his hand.

The brothers had everything packed to go before Castiel was even finished dressing.

"Cas, come on." Dean was knocking on the bathroom door as he spoke loud enough to hear, "We got a case. People are EATING each other." Castiel pulled on his overcoat over his newer clothes, the ones Dean often expressed his dislike for. Castiel opened the door, finding Dean waiting for him, shaking a take-out bag at him, "You take forever, you know. Come on, you can eat on the run." He was also handed a paper cup of coffee and Castiel blinked at them both. He had not eaten for hours, but he was anything but hungry. He felt as though he would be nauseous if he even put his nose close to the items, thus he held them away from him.

"Dean." Castiel gave the hunter a forlorn look, and Dean took the bag back, taking out the sandwich that was wrapped in paper.

"What, you liked eggs and sausage last time we got it." Dean waved it in front of Castiel, as if trying to tempt him, "Extra cheesy. Like Sam." Castiel highly doubted Sam was a dairy product.

"Dean." Castiel repeated more sternly and let the coffee warm his cold hands if nothing else. He took a deep breath. It was easier looking at the plastic top than Dean, "I fear my split is around the corner. I no longer hear Nemamiah." He glanced up at Dean, seeing he finally had the hunter's full attention

"Wait, _now_?" Dean strained, and he dropped the sandwich back into the bag, stepping closer to Castiel, "Right now? This is it? You're not... you know, having labor pains?"

"The split is not long," Castiel was all but ignoring the human birthing vocabulary and normal human procedure. There was no weening Dean from it, "There is a silence, and it is a sign." Castiel rested the coffee against his belly. Still no vibrations, "The split will happen today, or tomorrow." Dean held his head.

"People are eating each other," Dean groaned and seemed torn. Castiel swallowed uncomfortably.

"I know." Castiel breathed out slowly and finally placed the coffee on the table, knitting his fingers together, "You... should go. People are dying." Dean dropped the food on the table and gripped Castiel's shoulder with a pressure that was reassuring.

"Cas, I told you I'm not leaving you alone in this." Dean caught Castiel's eyes.

"But your case..." Castiel frowned and Dean still looked torn.

"Yeah I _know_..." Dean looked to the door, where Sam was just coming in from the Impala, "Sam, we got a situation here." Sam's brows slowly rose.

"Besides people eating each other?" Sam asked and Dean gestured to Cas.

"Cas is going to pop." Dean summarized, "And we need to get to the spot..." Dean gestured to the door, "But people are EATING each other." Sam paused, looking at Castiel who looked back uncertainly. Castiel wasn't exactly sure what Dean's fixation on people eating each other was; though it was bizarre that humans were eating humans instead of monsters eating humans. But Castiel knew of several tribes of human culture that still ritualized cannibalism. Sam held up a hand, having a solution.

"Look, you two go," Sam had heard them discuss their plan several times, "I'll go to Indiana and find out what's going on. I can call Bobby or Gabriel if things get hairy, and you can come once the... once Nemamiah is split." Dean didn't looked pleased with that idea either, "Sam..."

"Dean, I can handle it." Sam carried on, "I can handle myself for a few days. Point is, Cas is going to have a nephilim whether we like it or not. We can all go, or I can check out the situation. I can call Gabriel." Dean folded his arms, giving Sam a sour look.

"Are you sure he'd help?" Dean asked wearily since Gabriel was doing very little besides distracting Sam on cases and they had not found one horseman since War. How were they supposed to find them all if the archangel didn't help them out?

"Yes," Sam said quickly, "Just, all I need is a car and I'll load up. If it's something that bad, I'll call Bobby so he can send back up." Dean looked at Sam for the longest time, then back to Castiel, then slowly down to the belly that had been accompanying them this whole time. Dean sighed in defeat, unable to completely win without possibly more people dying. But being torn from Sam also obviously pained Dean.

"You just watch your ass in case feather-head gets a yellow back." Dean said finally, looking at Sam.

"I'll be fine, Dean." Sam returned, grabbing his last bag and heading out to the Impala.

Castiel frowned a bit. He wasn't sure how reliable Gabriel was, but if nothing else, he was powerful. And if Sam and Gabriel had actually reconciled, then perhaps Gabriel would help. To have an archangel on the side of humanity could greatly increase their rate of survival.

Dean took a deep breath and he clasped a hand on Castiel's shoulder, "Alright... ready or not. Right?" Castiel nodded, giving Dean a tired smile and his hand rested atop Dean's for a brief moment before they headed out to the Impala.

His split could be counted by the hours now, and also, so could be his death and the death of his child. Castiel tried to let Dean's warm smile and loud singing on the trip tell him otherwise.

Dean parked Baby in front of the old barn several hours from last seeing Sam. Then Dean was out, checking all the symbols he'd laid out over a month ago when they'd scoped the place out. He managed to copy Ruby's angel hex bags okay; hopefully it would buy them that 5 minutes. The barn was dark and full of moldy hay. It wasn't liveable, but it would do and no one would miss it if an angel popped up there. Castiel followed Dean in and he sat on a hay bail, holding his head in both hands. Dean stood close to him, touching Castiel's shoulder simply with his finger tips.

"Hey." Dean said and Castiel looked up at him. Castiel hadn't slept the whole 8 hour drive, even though it was 4 in the morning when they'd arrived. Frankly, neither had Dean, but Dean had been driving, he was kinda required to be awake. Castiel was still getting use to sleeping period, and usually only functioned well on 8 hours compared to Dean's 4, "How you holding up?"

"Terribly." Castiel breathed and Dean sat next to him on the hay bail, sliding an arm around Castiel's shoulders, causing Castiel to look up.

"Want to go over the plan again?" Dean asked and Castiel nodded, his hands twisted in his own trench coat, "Okay, we camp out here until your split. I'll make a few angel banishing symbols for just in case. We'll hunker down, bull shit a bit until it happens. I'll dive behind the hay bales so my eyes don't get burnt out. Once you let Nem know where to go, I'll get you into Baby and we'll pick him up in the town square, and then we're home free. Even if it's 5 minutes, it's enough. Everything-"

Castiel pressed his lips to Dean's in a firm kiss. Dean's arm curled tighter around Castiel's shoulders; the kiss was brief but needed. Castiel slowly pulled back, fear etched into his face for what felt like the first time. Dean took a deep breath and leaned in again, pressing his forehead to Castiel's and giving him a softer, lingering kiss. One that would let Castiel know he wasn't going anywhere.

"You're both going to be fine." Dean promised and Castiel took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Dean embraced Castiel against him and the angel huddled closer, hands fisted into his coat over his silent grace.


	23. Stupid Cupid

(Takes place during 5.14 My Bloody Valentine)

Aw, I'm really glad everyone is excited for the split that is around the corner.

And... I'm sorry that you guys thought you only had to wait another week. Doesn't happen that quick.

This is a Sabriel chapter.

Gabriel got a curious call on Valentines Day. He and Sam had talked occasionally since their encounter in the alley. He was weary about helping the hunter again after sticking his neck out so far the first time. Because it was Sam's number calling and he waited only a moment before he materialized a cell phone to answer the call, "Hello? Are you thinking about me on this hallmark day of love and candy? I'm touched, Sam." He scratched the ear of the Jack Russel Terrier that he affectionately called Max.

"Gabriel," Sam's voice sounded labored, "I need your help." Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Well I'm not surprised." Gabriel sighed, expecting Sam to ask him one of these days, "I knew I'd hear it eventually. 'Help us fight Lucifer. Help us to defeat him. Help hold my hand. Help'-"

"Damn it, Gabe." Sam sounded in pain and the archangel politely ceased his mocking for a moment, "I'm alone on a case and I need... the need for demon blood is back, and I don't know why..."

Gabriel dropped his playful thoughts, frowning, "Where's the expecting couple?"

Sam _whined_, for heaven's sake... "Cas is going to split soon and Dean wouldn't leave him."

"Fuck..." Gabriel murmured and rubbed his temples, "What is with you Winchesters and the worst timing in the world?" It was rhetorical but Max barked anyway, "Excuses, excuses. Where are you?"

"Jasper, Indiana." Sam rasped, "Um... Motel 6, room 109." Gabriel hung up and shooed Max away before he snapped his fingers, landing feet first in a fairly lavish motel room. Gabriel picked up the card on the table and smirked a little.

"Valentines Day Suite, huh?" Gabriel nodded his approval, "Not bad." He looked around, seeing the bathroom door closed. "Sam?" He tossed the cardboard back onto the table.

"I'm here." The echo came from inside and Gabriel checked the knob, finding it locked.

"A little counter productive?" Gabriel waved a finger and it unlocked for him. He opened the door, finding Sam's large frame squeezed under the bathroom sink looking pathetic and shaky. Pretty much like Max when he'd found the pup. Gabriel approached him the same; He closed the door, moving slowly, feeling as though harsh movements would startle him, "A little under the weather?" Sam swallowed, his hands hugging his arms, not moving towards the angel.

"I haven't been this bad in months..." Sam looked away, half wedged under the toilet, "I don't want to taste it again, I don't..."

"I get it, I get it." Gabriel lowered the toilet seat and sat upon it, petting Sam's hair and Sam pressed his forehead into Gabriel's thigh. Gabriel swallowed, for some reason, finding his own mouth parched. That was... odd, because he'd never actually craved anything. Candy eating was a habit from countless years of being a trickster. And admittedly, the taste and textures were pleasurable; like sex and having aliens slow dance with traumatized frat boys. But he was craving, strangely, carbonized soft drinks. Specifically of the Pepsi variety. "Got any clues so far?" Sam took a deep breath, eyes closed.

"I... I found a demon carrying a briefcase. It... had a really bright light in it when I opened it." Sam took a moment to swallow air, "Then is disappeared."

"A bright light." Gabriel pondered aloud and Sam twitched, one of his hands gripping Gabriel's knee.

"Some of the victims had Enochian symbols on their hearts." Sam stressed, "But I don't know what demons and angels are doing together on this..."

They both stopped when the motel door opened and Sam stared wide eyed at the closed bathroom door. Gabriel went still and waited. Inevitably the door opened and two demons stood there, focusing on Sam before they noticed Gabriel. They weren't impressed by him, but then again, he was still under witness protection.

"Aw, look at the little Winchester and guest." The woman cooed. Gabriel felt Sam tense next to him before the demon even spoke. It was like waving a steak in front of a starved tiger and Sam's hand was white with strain.

"Great, roaches in a motel." Gabriel sucked air through his teeth and stood up. He couldn't remember the last time he'd vanquished some demons. Unfortunately, Sam stood as well, eyes dilating hungrily.

The male demon advanced first and Sam moved forward but that was as far as either of them would get. Gabriel shot out a hand, flinging Sam into the shower and the other hand flew out to knock the male demon into the female demon. He was not allowing Sam to go down that road again. Gabriel jumped out of the bathroom and the door slammed shut as Sam was gaining his senses. Gabriel knew Sam could handle a little rough treatment. Then, for added security, Gabriel pushed the wardrobe in front of the door with a small push. There was banging at the door; Sam wanting to get out for demon blood.

It was safe to say that the demons got whiff of what they were dealing with and darted for the door, but with a snap, the door was shut. Gabriel popped behind the female and grabbed her head, purifying the demon from the vessel. Smoke started pouring out of the male and Gabriel grabbed the man's face, sending it right back into the body. Yeah, he hadn't done this for a while, but it was like riding a bike.

"Not done with you yet." Gabriel said as the demon clawed at his arm, trying to yell. Gabriel knew he couldn't let either demon go, it would blow his cover. He also needed information.

"Gabriel, let me out!" Sam was still desperate and the demon's eyes widened at his name. Gabriel sighed and focused on the demon. Yup, Sam was going to blow his cover.

"Alright, time to spill the beans, black eyes." Gabriel spoke sweetly, "What's going on in this town?" He wrapped his fingers around the demon's throat, enough for him to talk.

"Fuck off, feather breath." The demon snapped and Gabriel nodded his head from side to side, thinking a moment.

"You know, I'd admire your spunk, if it wasn't so stupid at the moment." Gabriel smiled cheerfully, "Or I could turn you into something, like a rabbit, and skin you. And then heal you up and do it again." the demon snarled at him.

"I've seen worse done in hell." He scoffed and Gabriel sighed.

"Well I could resort to holly water, but that's just so unoriginal." Gabriel snapped his fingers and a water bottle dropped into his free hand. He glanced at the demon, "And yes, you're going to die, but do you want it quick or slow?" the demon resisted, the black smoke trying to leave the throat but Gabriel was not allowing it. Gabriel popped open the lid and squirted the demon down and the skin started burning and the demon, screaming, "I could dump you in an ocean of holly water for hours..."

"Famine!" the demon screamed, "Famine the horseman!" Gabriel pouted.

"Damn, I was going to get creative too." Gabriel set the demon's insides alight and then snapped his fingers, the bodies disappearing; he dropped them into a pit where there was some flesh eating bugs. Feed the hungry and all that. Gabriel turned to the bathroom door, where there was less noise and Gabriel popped back into the bathroom, finding Sam wide eyed and back against the door, looking frazzled on the floor. Gabriel sighed. To let Sam out in this condition was not even feasible. Gabriel was going to have to do something about this. Shit. So much for staying out of it. Sam looked up at Gabriel with those watery eyes.

"I... I'm sorry, I was going to..." Sam's hand buried in his hair, realizing how out of control he was. Gabriel knelt next to Sam, looking him in the eye.

"I hope you know how lucky you are that you're damn cute." Gabriel touched Sam's forehead and slid his arm around Sam's head as the man went limp, fast asleep. He lowered Sam to the tiles, finding all the stress drain away from the hunter's face, "Because if I get my cover blow by you, I can't be a simple Trickster any more. Then I may as well join your little club." He pressed his lips to Sam's noggin and smiled, "You should have listened to me in the first place. No demon blood for you mister." He looked at Sam for a moment and flew himself back out of the room, snapping his fingers to make the hotel room demon proof. He decided to go find this horseman... after he found a Pepsi Max.


	24. Talk It Over In Bed

Just want to thank you guys for all of your lovely comments and support :) . I'm debating posting twice a week soon. So maybe within the week I'll put a surprise chapter up.

Ah, and this chapter is explicit Sabriel, so ye be warned.

(Mood music: Can't We Talk it Over in Bed – Olivia Newton-John)

* * *

Sam awoke to a mild headache as he came to awareness. He looked up at the ceiling to his motel room and found himself in his soft bed. He pressed his fingers to his temple and closed his eyes for a moment. He took a deep breath, the hunger for demon blood dissipated to it's normal throb in the back of his head. It was always there, but it was nothing like how starving he was when he was when he heard it pumping though some poor humans' veins. He opened his eyes again, realizing there was another weight on the bed. He looked to his left, where Gabriel was laying next to him, on his elbows and belly; sipping from a bottle of soda. The archangel smiled at him cheekily.

"Feeling better?" Gabriel asked and Sam propped himself up on his elbows, staring at Gabriel.

"Did you..." Sam ran his hand down his face and looked around, seeing no demons dead in the room, "What happened?"

"Famine, horseman number two is struck off your to do list." Gabriel held up two fingers, "You can thank and worship me now." Sam's lips parted and chest swelling; there were no words he could summon, "Come on, sing me praises. I took on a big-bad and prevented you from diving head first off the deep-" Sam sat up and leaned over to press his lips to Gabriel's; deep and grateful. Gabriel lost his remaining words, but he didn't go searching for them. Sam cupped Gabriel's neck and jaw, feeling the sweet twinge of Pepsi and the firm mouth of the archangel back against his. Sam breathed in deeply before he broke it off. They hadn't kissed in so long... "That's a nice start." Gabriel said with a softer smile and he scooted himself into a sitting position.

"Thank you." Sam breathed, his arms curled around Gabriel's neck, hugging him close, "for everything." The smile that tugged at Gabriel's lips was more genuine than boastful and the arm that wrapped around Sam's waist was comforting in its strength. Sam pressed his nose into Gabriel's neck. It was familiar and warm there. He heard the snap of fingers, the drink having disappeared and Gabriel's hand pet Sam's spine, pressing his temple against Sam's hair. Sam swallowed dryly, "I should have listened to you." Sam said softly, remembering Ruby; remembering Gabriel cautioned him about seeking revenge and letting people go.

"Yep." Gabriel nodded in agreement.

"I..." Sam's mouth opened but Gabriel touched his fingers to Sam's mouth.

"For the love of Dad, don't start apologizing again. I heard enough of it earlier." Gabriel patted Sam's back and Sam finally leaned back so that they could see each other. "I might be thinking about giving you another go. As long as you don't try to pull something incredibly stupid again." Sam shrugged, giving a nervous smile.

"I can't promise that..." Sam confessed and Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"I forgot, you're a Winchester. What was I thinking? What about..." Gabriel took Sam's left hand in his and Sam noticed that there was an old ring wrapped around his ring finger with swirls in the band and the black stone glinted in the motel room light. Famine's ring, Sam realized with a cold shutter. Gabriel kissed the back of his hand, warming him again, "I promise to stop you from drinking demon blood and keep you from getting yourself killed." Sam's skin flushed, his chest tightening, "And you promise you'll be mine."

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Sam's mouth was agape and Gabriel chuckled.

"Fuck no, we are no where near that point. And humans have all but made the concept pretty insignificant." Gabriel grinned and Sam took a deep breath because, fuck, he was not ready for that. "It's a posy ring. Very popular in the Shakespearean period, I'll have you know. It means you're called for, so don't think you can run off to another revenge scheme on me." Gabriel twisted the ring a little on Sam's ring finger thoughtfully, "Mind you it's also a key that will trap Lucifer." Gabriel's eyes met Sam's and Sam relaxed. Sam caressed Gabriel's jaw with his fingers.

"Promise me you're mine too?" Sam asked and Gabriel smirked.

"Do you got a ring to back it up with?" Gabriel waggled his eyebrows.

"I... have one in mind." Sam promised thoughtfully. He remembered one that he'd gotten himself from another horseman.

"I'll hold you to it." Gabriel pushed himself up and kissed Sam's lips warmly before he grinned, "Now, how about we consummate this promise." Sam scoffed.

"You'll consummate anything." Sam accused with a light smile.

"Well I like consummating with you." Gabriel gave Sam a chaste kiss, "Over and over," Then a slightly more lingered kiss, "And over, and-" Sam returned the kiss faster, pulling Gabriel into a heated kiss, tired of the teasingly light pecks. Gabriel's mouth curved into a smile against Sam's, and what he returned was a warm reminder of what they'd had once. Falling back into it was like breathing; warm and easy. But it was anything but slow; a rekindled spark grew hotter with each breath. Sam's fingers tightened in Gabriel's hair.

"I missed you." Sam breathed out finally, pressing his forehead against Gabriel's, "So much..." Sam's breath hitched and he took a moment to just hold on to someone he wanted to keep. He felt his eyes sting with tears and he berated himself for remembering all the time they'd lost.

"Easy on the water works." Gabriel's cool thumb traced Sam's cheek, and he kissed the corner of Sam's mouth warmly, "I missed you too. Even though you can't listen to me worth a damn." Sam scrubbed the beginning of tears from his eyes with the heel of his hands and Gabriel gave him an easy smile, "Still love me?" Sam smiled widely.

"Yes." Sam said firmly. Their lips met again and Sam closed his eyes; forgetting the lost time with the depth of it. Sam's fingers curled in Gabriel's hair and the base of Gabriel's neck, just wanting to hold him close. As though the archangel wouldn't be able to fly out on him again. Gabriel sat up more, kissing Sam back with deep, longing kisses. Sam moaned softly, meeting them with his own. Gabriel slid one of Sam's legs over his own waist and pulled Sam into his lap effortlessly. Sam was much taller than Gabriel on a regular basis, but Sam was constantly reminded at times like this that Gabriel was so much stronger than him. He previously thought it was deity strength, and really, knowing it was angel strength didn't change anything. Gabriel slid his hand up Sam's back and then back up under the shirt. His hands were warm and firm, just like before. Sam pushed the jacket from Gabriel's shoulders, continuing to kiss deeply neither were eager to break contact. Gabriel unbuttoned Sam's shirt with quick fingers and Sam smiled as Gabriel kissed his collar bone.

"Not going to snap everything away today?" Sam asked.

"Mm, can't." Gabriel glanced up at him with a smirk, "too distracted by your washboard abs." The abs which Gabriel revealed with each button and his hand pressed against Sam's skin so eagerly. "You've been eating your Wheaties." Gabriel appraised as his fingers familiarized themselves with Sam's body again, which had grown harder though out the months. Sam pressed into the firm hands and pulled off the black shirt from Gabriel's body.

"You... haven't changed at all." Sam realized, looking at the less sculpted flesh. Gabriel chuckled, not taking it as an insult.

"Same vessel," Gabriel excused himself and ran his hands down Sam's thighs and ass, "Same mind blowing skills." Gabriel gripped the latter for a firmer than needed squeeze, "You, however, have gained a firmer ass." Sam rolled his eyes.

"Same pervert inside the vessel." Sam commented dryly and Gabriel gave him a wink.

"Well, soon to be back inside." Gabriel said and got a half-hearted smack on his shoulder before he cupped Gabriel's neck and pulled himself up for another kiss. Denim and flesh rubbed together, making sweet heat.

Sam remembered a lot of their sex-scapades from what seemed like long ago, which were hot and hard. It was a lot of flesh and passion. But this was different. Gabriel didn't snap away their clothes to get to the deed faster. Gabriel was intent on re-exploring every memory of Sam's body with his lips or hands. Gabriel kissed Sam's neck and chest, his hands sliding down and relieved Sam of his pants and shoes. Both boots were dropped with thumps on the floor. Sam groaned, his thighs squeezed Gabriel's waist and his fingers dug into Gabriel's skin, dragging upwards and kissing Gabriel's lips when ever he could.

Gabriel pulled Sam's knees from under him and Sam's back hit a comfier mattress with satin sheets. Sam's fingers dug into the dark sheets and he raised both brows at Gabriel, "Can't help yourself, can you?" Gabriel leaned down and gave him a chaste kiss.

"I'm not allowed to like doing it on a nice bed?" Gabriel pushed down his pants and discarded them over his shoes, "For a Valentine Suit, it's a crumby mattress." Sam smiled, knowing Gabriel's tastes in tactile comforts. Gabriel's fingers trailed down, following the valley's of Sam's abs, "I think this deserves to be a bit better than that." Gabriel took his time and paid particular attention to the defined abs and hip lines.

Sam laid back to enjoy the once familiar caresses and his hands slid down Gabriel's shoulders and arms; They were firmer than one would think. It always reminded Sam that Gabriel was far more than what Sam could see. He always knew that when they were together before, but Sam was more aware of it now. Gabriel's thumbs pressed circular motions in Sam's hip and Sam bit his bottom lip. Gabriel kissed Sam's jugular softly, both his knees parting Sam's legs and Sam was compliant.

"Been a while?" Gabriel murmured and Sam nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. He pulled out a bottle of lube from that infinite space where Gabriel kept everything.

"Yeah." Sam admitted, swallowing, "I mean, over a year..." Sam heard a cap click and he twirled a lock of Gabriel's hair in his fingers, remembering the one time they made love. It was warm and Sam felt safe. Sam always prided himself on keeping himself safe, and protecting Dean. But feeling safe always meant it was going to be torn away from him, so he should never get comfortable; like with Jess. And then it was Gabriel. But Gabriel didn't catch fire, Sam had just burnt the bridge, and it hurt more than he ever thought it would.

Sam kissed Gabriel again, feeling the familiar sensation of lubrication against his hole. He groaned softly as the first finger slid in. Gabriel kissed him back sweetly and Sam's toes curled into the sheets. Gabriel started to rub the finger inside Sam, sending subtle, but familiar sensations to run through him. Gabriel spread him opened with practiced ease and Sam groaned, having missed the sensations. Gabriel's hand pushed Sam's leg up under the knee, spreading Sam's legs wider. Sam's breath became heavy, "Oh..." Gabriel eyed him and started to thrust his fingers into Sam's tight cheeks, "Ah..." Sam's fingers gripped into Gabriel's back, his own shoulders hunching. Gabriel continued the treatment. Sam remembered how many nights Gabriel would take his time. How much Gabriel made him squirm and moan under his fingers; patiently building up the pleasure until Sam was desperate for release. Gabriel teased the prostrate with his fingers and stretched Sam; Gabriel always liked watching Sam lose control.

"Fuck..." Sam murmured into Gabriel's neck, "Lo-Lo... Gabe..." Sam was caught between the names and Gabriel leaned forward, kissing Sam's chest.

"Whatever you call me is fine." Gabriel smiled and Sam took deep breaths. His hips squirmed against the continuous and relentless fingers.

"Fuck, it's been so long..." Sam murmured and closed his eyes, "Lok-i..." He tried it out with the rumble of a moan and Gabriel smiled; nostalgia coming back to him. Sam braced himself when Gabriel replaced his fingers with his cock effortlessly in Sam's trembling body. Sam moaned again, more into the archangel's skin, "Ah... Gabriel..." It rolled off his tongue and Sam decided he liked it, "Gabriel..." Gabriel groaned, never having been moaned to with his real name. Sam rocked against the fullness, his lips locked with Gabriel's, pants escaped between their lips. Gabriel's fingers slid into Sam's hair and he deepened the kiss, rocking against Sam, creating that sweet friction called pleasure. Gabriel's hands cupped Sam's thighs, guiding him into a slow rhythm and Sam's knees tightened around Gabriel's waist, murmuring Gabriel's name between kisses and being consumed in the moment.

Even after their satisfactions had been reached, they kissed and melted into a familiar canoodle. Gabriel lay on Sam's chest and twirled the ring that was on Sam's left hand; which rested between them.

"This is safe, right?" Sam asked after a long while, watching Gabriel's closed eyes, soaking in the aftermath of bliss, "I mean, Famine's ring."

"Yeah, doesn't work if the horseman is dead." Gabriel's arm adjusted around Sam's waist and opened his warm honey eyes. Sam smiled warmly and Gabriel returned it.

"10 more minutes, and I should call Dean." Sam sighed contently and Gabriel groaned.

"An hour." Gabriel argued.

"I have to let him know what happened, he'll be worried." Sam reasoned aloud, for both of them.

"We NEVER get time alone." Gabriel complained.

"Well..." Sam shrugged awkwardly. It was sort of true. The one period of time when they had had that time together, Sam had been in mourning and it wasn't quality time, "Yes, but I have to check on Dean and Cas, to make sure they haven't split yet. I have to make sure they're alright." Gabriel paused, as though he'd completely forgotten about that tiny detail.

"...You owe me a date. A real one." Gabriel finally said and Sam smiled.

"Yeah, okay." Sam pulled Gabriel closer, savoring the few minutes they had before he had to get up.


	25. Happy Splitday

Monday seems like a good day for another chapter :) Enjoy guys.

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"Famine?" Dean asked over the phone as Sam explained what happened in Jasper, Indiana. Dean was sitting on the barn floor, leaning against the hay bales. Castiel's angel blade was next to him within reach to his left and Castiel was to his right. The angel's head rested against his thigh; finally sound asleep after nearly 24 hours, "Shit, If I'd known..." Dean's fist clenched but he couldn't finish the line because Castiel was laying there and he knew he couldn't just leave Castiel there alone. Not this time.

"It's okay Dean, Gabriel came by." Sam sounded way more relaxed than usual, which was nice from the tense interactions they'd been having for a while now. The apocalypse was damn stressful, "We have Famine's ring, and we're packing up. Well, I'm packing up."

"You take foreeeveeer." Gabriel's voice was in the background.

"ANYways." Sam said, clearly ignoring the impatient archangel, "Do you want us to head over to you?" Dean looked down at Castiel, who was blinking his tired eyes up at Dean. Great, so much for Castiel finally getting some sleep. Even Dean had snagged a few hours nap time.

"I'm not sure there's too much you can do, we've just been sitting here

all day." Dean had already paced for 3 hours and flipped though a damn magazine of Sam's that he found in the Impala. People magazine was insanely boring, but leaving for anything else could cause him to miss the split, and then he wouldn't be any better than his 2014 version. It was nearly midnight and the barn was dark except for a couple flashlights that Dean had set up.

"Back up if nothing else." Sam supplied.

"Well, since you got Gabe there," Dean's free hand was pulled into Castiel's at his chest and Dean squeezed Castiel's fingers to reassure him silently, "What the hell should we expect from a nephilim?" The archangel hadn't said anything since the warehouse and they were pretty much out of time. Dean heard a small conversation as Sam passed the cell to Gabriel.

"Expect trouble," Gabriel said casually, "lots and lots of trouble." Dean rolled his eyes.

"I meant for the split." Dean rolled his eyes and Castiel squirmed slightly, squeezing Dean's hand tighter. At least there was no angel strength to it.

"I meant for the split." Gabriel returned, "Just get out of there as soon as you can. You won't need that vessel plan you guys cooked up." Dean blinked.

"What? You decided to tell us that NOW?" Dean's hand was pulled again and Dean looked down, Castiel's face contorted in pain and Dean was distracted from anything Gabriel was saying, "Cas?"

"Dean," Castiel gasped, "It's happening." Dean sat up straight, eyes going wide.

"Now? right NOW?" Dean's hand was released and Castiel rolled over to press his forehead into the dirt.

"Shit, Cas!" Dean dropped his phone for exchange of the angel blade, looking around for any suited heavenly messengers. Castiel clawed at the hoof flattened dirt and his head turned, his eyes glowing and light shined though Castiel's gritted teeth. Dean put a hand to Castiel's back but it burned hot and Dean covered his eyes with his arm, knowing well enough that the light could burn out his eyeballs.

Castiel's restrained screams soon was an ear piercing pitch and Dean was more concern with his ears bleeding than he was anything else. He shut his eyes tight and clamped his palms over his ears, getting that feeling that his head was going to explode if it took any more pressure.

And then all the pressure, noise, and light were gone. Dean slowly opened his eyes, seeing spots despite hiding his eyes. And his hears were more than ringing. Castiel was on his back, body shaking and broken out in a sweat. He was whole though, so that was good. Then Dean looked up, because there was a flutter sound. His grip tightened on the blade, but there was no suited angel. There was just one pink and pale skinned little girl no older than 9 or 10, standing there; completely naked. She had short dark hair, chubby cheeks, and sea green eyes. And then... Dean had to blink a couple times, to make sure his eyes were seeing correctly; mostly because there were some black spots fogging his view. Were those... There were wings on her back. Inky black wings, like shadows.

She was staring at him and he slowly lowered the blade. He blinked at her, stunned. She just stood there, and then, she blinked back. Though she looked as though it was a conscious effort.

"Holy shit." Dean murmured and Castiel suddenly gasped back to life and Dean's eyes flickered back and forth from the girl to Castiel, who was breathed with labored intakes and his eyes were wide and blue, "Easy, easy..." Dean pressed his hands under Castiel's shoulders, lifting up because the man was flailing in a way to move, "We're good, we're good, look." Castiel stilled as soon as he saw her, their eyes locked.

"Nemamiah." Castiel's voice was hoarse but she responded, inclining her head at her name. Castiel's shaky arm reached out and curled around her, hugging her against him. Dean's hands were pressed firmly to Castiel's back, keeping Castiel upright and he got a better look at those wings up close; which were all feathers. Tuft-like feathers made up half of it. Then there were some sleek prime feathers that reached her knees. Nemamiah's arms finally wrapped around Castiel's neck in a stiff return hug and Dean found himself smiling for a split moment; before he heard more tell tale whispers of wings.

Dean half turned, seeing there were three angels blocking their way to the Impala. Shit, and Castiel was out of god juice. Dean lifted the short sword and he kept in mind that there were a few blood sigils only inches away; but would that sent away Nemamiah as well? He didn't want to risk it.

"We're here for the fallen and the new angel." One of the angels in a pin stripe suit. All of them had their blades in hand. One human against 3 angels didn't look good at all.

Castiel didn't have the energy to look at the three angels in the door way. All he could focus on was the little girl that was his and in his arms. He ran his fingers through her wings, brushing away some of the loose tufts and he pressed his forehead to hers; eyes closed. He pushed his knowledge to her and hoped she would understand what he could gather with his shattered concentration. Nemamiah blinked several times and her hand entangled in Dean's jacket; gained his attention for a split moment. Her wings gave a sharp, stiff flap and they were whisked away.


	26. Great Escape

So far I'm ecstatic that everyone likes Nemamiah so far :) Thank you guys.

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Gabriel heard the high pitched scream of an angel over the phone before it short circuited and then there was just dial tone.

"Damn it." Gabriel grumbled, shutting the phone and tossing it back to Sam, who caught it against his chest.

"What happened?" Sam asked, stuffing it back into his pocket. They were fully dressed again because Sam didn't want to be in the town too long after a case.

"Castiel split at the wrong time, of course." Gabriel waved his hand dismissively, "per-Winchester-usual." Sam gave Gabriel a confused gaze.

"Cas isn't really related by blood..."

"The kid is though." Gabriel grumbled, "Figures the spawn of your brother would have just as much bad-"

There was a small crash was Dean suddenly landed in the motel room 2 feet from the carpet, Dean groaned and sat up, just as Castiel landed on top of him. Also so did a little girl, who landed on top of the pile. Sam jaw gaped at the scene, hands half lifted and frozen. Gabriel pulled his hair and gestured to the pile of people who suddenly appeared; train of thought completely lost.

"Really?!" Gabriel asked rhetorically. Before any of them could get over a first attempt of a crash landing by a young nephilim, Gabriel was over them within the second and he pressed a hand to Nemamiah's chest, burning Enochian sigils to her new ribs. The girl didn't scream but her eyes went wide and here eyes welled up, her first tears falling down her face.

"Gabriel..." Dean said warningly, but wearily because he was coming back to awareness.

"Shut it." Gabriel warned, "There's no other way to keep a nephilim off Heaven's radar." He lifted the girl from Castiel's chest by her arms and set her on her feet. Dean was soon focused on seeing if Castiel was still alive, because he was unconscious. Sam was by Dean within a moment, not sure where to focus because there was a new and naked child, and Castiel wasn't responding.

"Jesus Christ, what happened?" Sam asked and soon he was back to his duffel, digging around in it for SOMETHING.

"Easy there, sweetheart." Gabriel soothed, running his hand through Nemamiah's short dark hair, taking advantage of a new angel's instinct to do as they're told. He snapped his fingers and a lollipop manifested in his hand and he crouched down to her level. He took her hand and curled her smaller fingers around the stick, to distract her with the bright red treat, "Look, you were such a good girl, your first experience in food will be the worst for you." Her eyes were drawn to the lollipop, the pain slowly ebbed from her face. Gabriel chuckled and made his own lollipop, sticking it into his mouth; only he chose grape flavor. She watched him and opened her mouth, biting the treat, working out how to eat it. Though as soon as the flavor was on her tongue she seemed to get it. She copied Gabriel fairly well, lifting her head. Gabriel patted her soft black tufts of hair, "Good girl." Fledgling nephilim learned fast when given the time.

Sam approached Nemamiah and Gabriel with a clean shirt that was going to be far too big for her, but at least it would cover her. He rolled up one side of the shirt and looked at her.

"Um... lift up your arms, please?" Sam asked and she looked up at Sam, doing as she was told. Sam was staring at her wings for a moment before he could move again. He fitted her hands through the arm holes and let it fall over her head. It got caught on the extra half-splayed out limbs.

"Oh, she doesn't even know how to fold them properly." Gabriel said almost fondly and he pushed the wings in, following the natural joints, and then pulled the rest of the shirt down over them. She watched him curiously and once he let them go, they sprang out the shirt in the back.

"She actually has wings..." Sam was baffled and Gabriel shrugged.

"Well yes, she doesn't know how to hide them yet. It'll have to be worked on." Gabriel then shooed Sam towards the door, "Get your car packed, those angels still had some of her trail to follow earlier. They'll get here eventually." Sam was startled by the order but he grabbed his keys and his duffel, giving a glance at Dean and Castiel before going outside to get the car running. Gabriel urged the girl over to her sires, where Dean was still on the floor, trying to wake Castiel up. Nemamiah went back over to them like a magnet, eying Dean and Castiel expectantly, "Dino, we got to go. Cas isn't waking up after all that." Gabriel wasn't going to spend all night waiting. He lifted Castiel up from the hunter and nodded to Nemamiah before heading out to the car.

Dean got to his feet, despite the pain of the crash landing, and still mentally protested Gabriel scooping Castiel away from him. He looked to Nemamiah, who looked up at him with the sucker still in her mouth. He swallowed, reaching a hand for her's and her hand met him half way, "Come on, kiddo, let's blow this joint." She followed without question as they left the motel room.

Gabriel laid Castiel in the back seat of the small sedan Sam had "borrowed" and waved Nemamiah in with the unconscious one. He then shooed Dean to the passenger seat after closing the back seat, "I can fly, you guys on the other hand, can not."

"You're staying?" Sam asked, his window rolled down. Gabriel walked over to Sam's window, looking the other in the eye.

"Do you want a distraction or not? These guys aren't going to stop chasing unless they are made to lose it." Gabriel removed his lollipop and leaned in Sam's window, giving Sam a deep, open mouthed kiss; which startled Dean. Gabriel pulled back, smirking because it surprised Sam as well, "I hope you know how lucky you are to have me." Sam smile shyly, because he was very aware of Dean's eyes.

"Extremely." Sam muttered and Gabriel patted his cheek with a hand.

"Off with the lot of you." Gabriel demanded with a wave of his hand and Sam hesitated for just a moment before putting the car into gear and pulling out of the parking lot; driving into the night.

Gabriel sighed after seeing them go and he heard the flaps of wings landing. Three angels dropped inside of the motel room. He shook his head and turned to face them as they came out. "Sorry, can't let you pass go, and you can not collect 200 dollars." Gabriel snapped his fingers of both hands. Two of the angels were flung into TV Land for later and the remaining was pushed back into the motel room by pure force of an archangel's will. Gabriel was rusty with fighting, but it seemed that day was a crash course in remembering. He twirled the lollipop in his cheek and walked back into the motel room to make sure no word got back to Heaven.


	27. Slice of Apple Pie

:D I'm super pleased with all of your responses with Gabriel and Nemamiah. They cheer me up especially now since I have a tooth ache (Never thought I'd be happy to hit the dentist chair). The pain has really distracted me from writing, but I still have lots of chapters to post. Enjoy guys :) .

* * *

Dean swirled around the beer in his bottle, absorbing everything that had happened within the past few hours. He leaned against the wall of Bobby's house; they had made it back while it was daylight out. First of all, Sam was outside, talking to Gabriel on the phone and Dean could see him pacing around, kicking his feet with a smile on his face. Which was weird enough because Sam had been nothing but a bucket of angst since starting the Apocalypse. He was obviously talking to his 'boyfriend'; which... Dean couldn't even make a girl joke at that point. Not when Castiel was sitting in the living room with a young girl, who was half Dean's, and they kept touching each others' foreheads with their index and middle fingers since Castiel woke up. Nemamiah had been a silent addition to the car ride, but Dean often caught her looking at her own hands and Castiel, as though coming to terms with her existence. Castiel had only woken up once they'd gotten back to Bobby's and had not let go of Nemamiah since. Castiel was currently sitting in a chair, his hand holding his daughter's, communicating silently. Bobby was more bemused than Dean, as his wheelchair was parked next to his desk.

"How the hell did he pop out a prepubescent?" Bobby finally asked and Dean shrugged.

"He... said a lot, that it wasn't a baby." Dean sipped his beer. Bobby eye balled the lot of them, his flask in hand. Beer would not cover this amount of weird for him.

"You sure you contributed to the gene pool?" Bobby asked, seeing how much she mimicked and looked like Castiel. Dean scoffed.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer." Dean wasn't even sure HOW to answer that question. He had been, well... expecting a baby-baby. A small chubby thing that sort of resembled the cupids that well... signified the holiday she was split on. She did pop up naked and with wings, but he never expected a kid to act like... well, a small robot. She really did remind him of Castiel when he first met him; all serious-soldier and not knowing how to think on his own.

Dean noted that Sam practically skipped in with the amount of bounce that was in his step. He observed the father and daughter pair only a few feet away and joined the men speculating, "So... that's yours, Dean?"

"Apparently." Bobby answered because Dean did not put forth the answer. Dean looked back to Castiel and Nemamiah. It was sort of sweet, Castiel looked brighter than he had in months. More than Dean had ever seen him, actually. Castiel wasn't the broad grinning fool type, but there was this genuine, serene peace that eased all the tension from his face. Almost like there wasn't a world falling apart around them. As though Lucifer wasn't walking the earth. As though all that mattered was the little girl standing right in front of him. Dean just... wanted to stand there and admire the purity of it; Castiel just looked happy. Dean wouldn't admit to Bobby or Sam that it caught him in the chest more than he'd like.

"So she has her own body and everything." Sam informed Bobby.

"And wings."

"Yeah, Gabe says they can be hidden."

"Feather-brain even tell ya what a nephilim is all about?"

"Not too much." Sam shrugged, hands in his pockets.

"You idjits didn't even think to ask?" Bobby looked at Sam who shrugged, having been more occupied with Gabriel not hating him and then to Dean... who was not even paying attention and there was a small smile on his face, "Hey, lover-boy." Dean looked at Bobby once he was directly talked to.

"What?" Dean remembered his beer in his hand, standing up straighter. Bobby scoffed in a surprised manner.

"I get that yer enjoying your slice of apple pie moment, but we need to focus here. What happened with the last case you were on?" Dean shook his head and remembered the end of the world was happening.

"Right. Um, Sam, you sorta took care of that one, right?" Dean remembered something about that before Castiel went to split.

"Oh, yeah..." Sam took his hands out of his pockets, fiddling with a ring on his left hand, but he did not take it off, "Yeah, I got it, Famine is dead. People stopped eating each other..."

Bobby looked to the ring on Sam's hand, then to Dean. Neither brother had their heads in the evil fighting game, "I can't believe you two." Bobby held his head, leaning heavily on the arm of his chair, "Ya both are... are twitterpated with angels. You need to focus here." Both stared at Bobby with raised eyebrows.

"Did you just say twitterpated?" Dean asked.

"As in, from Bambi?" Sam referenced. Bobby grew flustered and made a gesture in Castiel's direction.

"Shut it, there's a tyke in the room." Bobby's excuse seemed valid enough to him. Dean glanced at Sam next with his raised brow.

"Bambi, Sam?"

"Dean, you watched it too."

"Like a million years ago!"

"You still knew what it meant."

They were distracted by a padding of feet and Nemamiah was there, looking at Dean with searching sea green eyes and her arm was lifted up, two fingers extended like Castiel did when ever he healed them or was going to transport them somewhere. Dean blinked down at her, not exactly sure what she was doing.

"She wishes to exchange life experiences so she knows of her origins." Cas explained softly. Dean grimaced, holding his beer out of her reach.

"Can't she talk?" Dean asked, "Cause I'd rather she not poke around in my head. I don't want her finding anything she's not supposed to."

"It's how angels communicate in heaven." Cas said, leaning back in his chair, gently rubbing his temples with his fingers as though he had a headache, "It's instinct. It is how we are all first trained." Nemamiah waved her hand, as though enforcing Castiel's words. Dean took her half fist in his gently and it was firmer than he expected of a little girl.

"Okay, Mama-mia..." Dean eased her hand down, "Let's try words. You've got to have a vocabulary of your own, don't you?" Nemamiah blinked back up at him, not replying.

"Nemamiah." Castiel corrected at he lowly leaned back in his chair.

"Fine, how about Miah?" Dean asked. He'd thought all this time there would be a boy so he didn't feel quite right calling her Nem anymore. Nema didn't really sound right either. Castiel inclined his head to the side and the weirdest thing was that Nemamiah did as well; she wasn't even looking at Castiel. Nemamiah lifted her hand again, pushing back Dean's hand with ease.

"Dean." She said, in a way that mirrored Castiel. That silent communication that Castiel always did with just Dean's name; portraying emotion when the face did not.

"Miah." Dean cleared his throat and crouched down to her level, forcing her hand down with more force than he wanted to admit to using, "First rule, Kiddo. This is my noggen and I don't want you digging around in it. It's not all kid friendly. Now, I know you're not all angel, you're at least part human. So we're going to use words to talk, got it?" She lifted her head a little, staring at him with an intelligence that should not be instilled in a young child. She seemed to process what he was saying, but she turned and trotted back to Castiel, the back of her wings shifting under the shirt. Castiel's hands slid from his head and leaned forward again. He looked weary but he closed his eyes and he touched her temple with the two fingers.

Dean stood, scratched his head, and stood back up. Dean looked to Sam and Bobby for help. Bobby took a drink from his flask and Sam gave Dean a shrug, sympathetic for Dean's confusion and situation. After a moment where Castiel just ended up holding his head in his hand, a wave of exhaustion coming over him, Nemamiah stepped back over to Dean, looking up at him. Dean looked down at her, "What is it, half pint?"

"Teach me." Nemamiah stated, "Castiel's knowledge is limited." Dean's brows were raised high, mouth puckering slightly.

"Okay, first of all, it's weird that you're calling Cas by his full name." Dean looked up at Castiel, "Did you teach her that?"

"I was not sure how else to reference myself when we were in immediate peril." Castiel leaned back, taking a deep calming breath. Castiel must have still been exhausted from the split. He looked completely frayed and ready for a good nap.

"Of course not." Dean sighed, putting his empty beer bottle down, "Come on, kiddo, grab a seat."

"Nemamiah." She corrected, following Dean to the couch that was in the living room.

"Fine, Miah." Dean's butt hit the cushions of the couch.

"Nemamiah."

"It's a nickname. I don't even call Cas by his full name." Dean gripped the TV remote in his hand firmly, "Sit." Nemamiah looked at the cushions he pointed to and sat next to him. She sat sightly slouched as Castiel did. Though now with the wings, it sort of made sense. Dean took one corner of the couch for himself. "First of all, Cas is your dad. So don't use his first name." He saw her little brain process, blinking a few times.

"Father." She decided.

"Dad is fine." Dean prompted and she seemed reluctant.

"Dad." She repeated, tasting the word.

"Good." Dean nodded, "Now um... Me..." He paused, remembering he was a part of this as well now; but he didn't exactly want to be called pops or something like that. Made him sound old.

"Dad." Nemamiah, looking directly at him, with that tone she used for calling him his given name. Dean's mouth fell slack, realizing she was referring to him. Well he was, wasn't he?

"Okay, That's fine." He held out the remote for the TV, loosening his grip on it, dangling it in front of the girl, "Now, if you want to know about the world, just watch TV."

"Really, Dean?" Sam gave Dean a raised brow, "You're going to turn a nephilim into a couch potato?"

"What? Dad did the same thing with us." Dean pushed the power button and the news flashed on and took a moment to focus on the old TV set. Nemamiah perked with the buzz of the live TV and her eyes were immediately drawn to it. Her eyes were wide as she took in the moving pictures, "Now, if you see anything you have a question about, ask me, not Cas. Cas doesn't know anything about TV."

"I'm learning." Castiel defended himself mildly.

Dean pushed the channel button and Nemamiah's eyes flickered to the remote. Dean dangled the remote in front of her and she took it, eying all of the buttons and words before she started pushing them. She turned the volume way down, then up, and then back down to a manageable level. She pushed the numbers, putting in random channels, most that didn't work. Her eyes flickered about sometimes as though seeing something there but she tried every button at least once before she held it back out to Dean. Dean's brows raised and he accepted it.

"Y'know, most kids are remote hogs." Dean mused and Nemamiah turned her attention back to the TV, focusing. The TV then flashed, changing to a channel up. And then again, and again. Dean stared at her and looked at the remote, of which he was not pushing, "How are you doing that?"

"The remote uses infrared lights to tell the TV what to do. If I copy the light signals I do not need the controller." She looked at Dean's who's mouth was hanging open, "I'm learning." Dean looked back to everyone else, eyes landing on Castiel, who seemed to be in a simple state of pride, and pointedly not looking at Dean. Sam chuckled and Bobby was smiling too.

Bobby looked at Sam with a smirk, "She's got Dean's sass, is what she's got." Sam agreed with a smile and Nemamiah settled on a channel where a cheetah was chasing down an antelope.


	28. Rest Does the Body Good

Nemamiah was as content as any kid with a TV and a couch could be; blissfully zoned out, watching Animal Planet. After about an hour of focused attention on the TV, Dean got up to discuss plans with both Sam and Bobby.

"We need to get her clothes." Dean determined, "And shoes, and... well, everything..."

"Local department store is open until 10." Bobby informed him. Sam rubbed his forehead thinking through the long night and day they'd had.

"She can't walk in with wings." Sam said, "So we could either try to well... size her or wait until she learns to hide them." Bobby ran his hand through his beard.

"An' I suppose you all need a place to bunk." Bobby grumbled.

"Well Hell..." Dean looked around the book stacked house. "Cot in the panic room, couch, floor. You don't mind, do ya, Bobby?"

"Sometimes I should." Bobby grumbled, "And since Cas is graceless, I can't exactly get flown upstairs to my bed. So the couch is mine." Dean and Sam never brought up the idea of making Bobby's house wheel chair accessible. The old man would throw a fit.

"We could use some food." Sam said after a moment. None of them had eaten in several hours. Dean remembered the last thing he ate was that breakfast sandwich that Castiel had turned down before his severance. That felt like weeks ago.

"Yeah, food, then plan." Dean agreed and looked back to Nemamiah and Castiel. Castiel was sitting in his seat, eyes closed with his one hand covering half his face, keeping him upright from the verge of sleep. Dean walked over to him and rested a hand on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel's body jerked and he sat up straighter, a half yawn leaving him, "Hey, how you holding up?"

"Mm," Castiel shook his head carefully, his back cracking as he stretched forward and his face contorted with the pain of it, "Not very well." Castiel ran his hands down his head and face.

"Well, Hell, I can only imagine." Dean watched Castiel's shoulders slump again and he looked up at Dean with heavy lidded eyes which were surrounded by dark circles; he looked paler than usual, "How about you get some sleep?"

"No, no." Castiel tucked his hands into his lap so his arms would prop him up better, "Nemamiah was just split. I need to be up. Watchful." He blinked hard and a twitch ran though his body to fight the on coming exhaustion, "I don't need sleep."

"You look like you do." Dean gestured to the hallway, "pregnant or not, you just gave birth to a kid with wings. You should rest up." Castiel took a deep breath and shook his head, his eyes closed.

"I should be up, I have to watch her." Castiel murmured, fading to half coherency again.

"Cas. Me, Sam, and Bobby are here." Dean reminded him and Castiel blinked hard to try to focus. Dean hoped it was something Castiel could recover from as a human. He did just have his grace torn out. Or half his grace. Dean didn't even know if Castiel had an ounce of grace left in him. "We can handle a little babysitting." Castiel pursed his lips and looked to Nemamiah, who was watching them instead of her TV program. Then the audible sound of Castiel's belly whining could be heard and Dean gave a sad chuckle. Castiel was a wreck, "Food and sleep."

"I still feel rather nauseous." Castiel admitted and leaned forward, hiding his face with his hands again, "And I'm not sure which is more painful. My head, my stomach, or my spine..."

"One thing at a time." Dean gave in to a sympathetic rub to the back of Castiel's neck, despite Sam and Bobby watching. Castiel just looked that bad.

"We're all hungry." Sam said as he lifted up a Chinese menu from among Bobby's clutter, "How about I order food, and until then Cas can go rest?" Castiel ran his hands down his face with a heavy sigh.

"I suppose rest is in order." Castiel relented. Dean was please that Castiel seemed to accept his fate of sleeping to heal up. Though when Castiel rocked forward to stand, he sat again with a grimace of pain.

"Come 'ere you." Dean took Castiel's elbow to help him up and Castiel stood better with the support.

"May as well use my bed since I ain't." Bobby grumbled, almost sounding sympathetic, but managed to sound bitter because of the very fact of it.

"See, an actual bed and everything." Dean encouraged and Nemamiah pushed herself from the couch and trotted over to them both. She took Castiel's hand in hers and Castiel looked down at her and smiled faintly as he returned the squeeze.

"Tired, Miah?" Dean asked and she shook her head no.

"Father, I'll watch over you." She tugged on Castiel's hand.

"You may if you wish." Castiel smiled a little more, but at the same time, looked more exhausted for it.

"Yes." Nemamiah nodded and Dean lead them both upstairs. Dean found Bobby's room, which was plain, with a few left over decorations from his wife. There were just nick-knacks, like some flower cross stitch and a quilt that normally didn't go over a bachelor's bed; only a widower's. Castiel was leaning heavily on Dean by the time they got there and Dean directed him to plop him down on the bed. "You're a wreck." Dean commented. Castiel did not even bother to comment, he just kicked off his shoes and tried to shrug off his trench coat with little success. Dean helped him peel it off and Nemamiah clambered into bed. Dean grimaced because Sam's shirt only went to her tights when her wings were moving about. It was so odd, seeing the large hump behind her; made her look like a tiny Igor.

"Dean." Castiel had scooted under the covers and was laying down with his head on the pillow.

"Mm, yeah?" Dean looked down at Castiel, who's eyes closed.

"Thank you." There was a warm swell in Dean's chest and a smile tugged at his lips.

"Told you we'd get through this." Dean said. Nemamiah knelt on the quilt, acting as a guard dog or something. Dean wondered mildly if nephilim slept. "So, Sam's ordering. What do ya want before you black out on me?"

"Beef." Castiel murmured, "I'm craving red meats,"

"Got ya." Dean looked at Nemamiah who was observing quietly from her spot next to Castiel. "How about you, half-pint?"

"Food?" She asked and Dean wondered if nephilim ate, or if they were more angel and didn't need to.

"Yeah. I guess you've never had anything to eat before." Dean barely remembered the lollipop stick that had been in her mouth on the car trip home. She put her fingers to her mouth for a moment as her new little brain ticked away in though.

"Red. And Sweet." She finally said and Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Um... sweet and sour chicken it is." Dean looked back down at Castiel, who's eyes were closed, breath evening out. Dean looked back at Nemamiah, "If you get bored, feel free to come back downstairs, Okay?" She nodded.

"Okay." She said agreeably and Dean looked at them both for a moment. Castiel was comatose and Dean decided it was better for him to be until he was healed up.

"Alright." Dean paused, watching Nemamiah shift back and forth, getting comfortable and sitting on her dirty feet. Her wings were twitching under the shirt and she pulled at the shoulder of the shirt, as though they were bothering her, "Got wing cramps or something?"

"The shirt bends my feathers." She said with a slight crinkle in her nose. Dean smirked a bit, cause damn it, she was a cute kid.

"Come here." Dean leaned over and Nemamiah scooted over to him obediently. It was one of Sam's loose ones, so on Nemamiah, the neck was extra big, almost off of her shoulder. He took the collar and stretched the neck back.

"Let's see if we can fix that." He tugged the back of the collar down, careful not to choke her, "Let's see if you can lift that wing up, huh?" He'd only caught glimpses of them when Castiel split, so he got a better look when one squeezed though the neck it nearly smacked him in the face as it shook itself out. She let out a sigh of relief and Dean assisted the other wing out as well, the elastic in the neck snapped as he stretched it and he guided out the soft down limb out with a hand. Sam's shirt was stretched out, but at least all her limbs were free and she immediately, very naturally, curled one wing under her arm so she could start fixing her black feathers. The other wing shook itself out and stretched wide.

"Neck's not too tight, is it?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No." She gave him one of those Castiel smiles. The soft one with a head tilt, "Thank you, dad." Dean smiled and ruffled her hair. It gave him this warm feeling when ever she called him that.

"Lemme know if he wakes up or you need anything." Dean reminded her and she nodded before he backed out to leave them be. Dean took a deep breath and stared downstairs slowly. He was still processing the wings and the fact that she was already far older looking than he thought she'd be. And the whole dad thing. He was still getting used to that. It felt weird. But it felt good.

"Dean?" Sam asked as he was jotting down what they were ordering on a scrap piece of paper. Dean walked into the library with Bobby and Sam again, "You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah." Dean rubbed the back of his neck, "you're not going to miss that shirt, are you?" Sam slowly lifted one brow.

"Why?" Sam asked and Dean thumbed to the stairway.

"The neck is gonna be all stretched to hell because it was mangling her wings." Dean shrugged. Sam sighed but after a moment he shrugged, trying to be indifferent.

"Well, it was an old shirt." Sam muttered. Hunting did tend to put a short life span on most of their clothing. Dean added his, Nemamiah's, and Castiel's orders to Sam's list and also added 10 extra egg rolls and Sam purposely annoyed Dean by saying only 6 egg rolls and 4 spring rolls.


	29. Little China Delight

Dean stuffed an egg roll in his mouth before he headed upstairs. He opened the door to Bobby's room, certain that Castiel would be eager to eat, but Dean paused in the doorway. Both Castiel and Nemamiah were laying in bed and Dean was nearly tempted to take a picture. Castiel had rolled onto his side, back to the door. The covers had been thrown off and it was now tucked securely around Nemamiah with Castiel's arm around her back; under the folded wings at her back. Castiel was curled around protectively over his daughter and they both shared one pillow as they blissfully slept.

Dean said to Hell with it and got out his cell phone as he finished the mouthful of food he had. He snapped the picture on his phone and only Nemamiah stirred from the shutter sound. Dean slipped the phone back into his pocket and rested his hand on Castiel's arm, giving him a shake.

"Hey, Cas. Food's here." Dean said and Nemamiah dragged herself out of the blankets with a yawn and the stretch of her arms. Her wings furled upwards, the feathers poofing up for a moment before neatly layering themselves back into a half sprawled angle as her arms came down. Dean watched the wings move, amazed with their dexterity. He wondered if Castiel had wings that were hidden. Neither Castiel or Gabriel had been surprised about them. Gabriel even seemed to be expecting them. Well, Dean only knew the answer to one question. Nephilim did sleep. Nemamiah rubbed her face in her palms and Castiel slowly stirred, a few audible cracks in his spine.

"Mm, alright." Castiel murmured but he only curled up tighter, pressing his face into the pillow. Nemamiah lit up with the word food and she slipped out of the bed, standing next to Dean. Dean tried again, giving a firmer shake.

"Bobby's not going to let you eat in bed." Dean said and sighed when he got basically the same response as before. Castiel had to be exhausted if he wasn't moving for food; he needed more sleep than the almost hour that it took for Sam to pick everything up, "We'll save you some. How about that?" He rubbed Castiel's shoulder with more care.

"That would be nice, Dean." Castiel murmured again and Dean covered Castiel again with the blankets. He leaned down, snagging a quick kiss against Castiel's stubbled cheek and Castiel hummed, his hand lifting and his knuckles bumping Dean's cheek in acknowledgment before Castiel drifted back into even breathing and dreams. Nemamiah shuffled her dirty feet on the wood floor and Dean pulled away and led the girl downstairs.

"You get your first taste of Little China Delight, sunshine." Dean ruffled her dark tufts of hair that matched her wings and she looked up at him. The wings did not sit still. They folded along her back mostly but as she went down the stairs they lifted a bit, catching the air as they descended, "Damn, you're like half bird, aren't you?"

"I'm half angel." She replied as they entered the library, where Sam was sitting at one end of the couch, digging into his vegetable and chicken carton; using the chopsticks that came with the Chinese meal with practiced ease. Bobby had a fork as he chowed down at his desk. Dean's carton was already open on a stack of books by the couch but he searched the bag for another first; one trimmed with red sauce, "You're going to try some sweet and sour chicken." Dean plopped down on the free side of the couch, leaving enough room between him and his brother. He had an extra fork and waited for Nemamiah to take a seat before he handed her the carton. She looked at it a moment and sniffed the box before she slowly bent the wire that held the flaps in place and pushed the tab out of the slot. She then set the carton on her thigh to pry open the box, revealing the bright candy colored nuggets. Sam and Bobby both watched her, because understandably, there was a girl with wings about to eat sweet and sour chicken.

"Huh, at least you can open your own Chinese carton." Dean dangled the fork in front of her and her eyes followed it before she took it, "Let's see you eat your first meal." Her eyes flickered to Bobby, who was between eating and scanning a book. She held it like Bobby and pushed the tines into the chicken. She then lifted and took an ginger bite. The second bite was much bigger and she chewed vigorously. Dean grinned and smiled at Sam, who just raised an eye brow at Dean in return. "Half a day old, already eating solids."

"You shouldn't be so excited about that." Sam told him and ate a strip of pepper from his own carton.

"What? It's true." Dean plucked up his own food and twirled the fork into his lo mien.

Nemamiah's eyes focused on Sam's chopsticks as she chewed.

"So, Miah. " Dean looked to the little girl again, who looked back at him, the second piece of chicken in her mouth. "You're a day old. What do you know?" She bit and chewed, tucking most of it into her cheek.

"'ots of gen'ral know'age." She managed and Sam grimaced.

"Swallow before you speak, Miah." He prompted and she swallowed the food that was in her mouth. Dean raised a brow at Sam.

"You going to be Miss. Manners?" Dean asked and Sam rolled his eyes.

"I know you're Sam and Dean." Nemamiah said and Bobby looked up from his book. "Dean is my dad. Castiel is my father. Sam is Dean's brother, so he's my uncle." She looked to Bobby, "You're Bobby. You live here. You all hunt things that hurt people." Dean couldn't remember them taking about what they did recently.

"Did... Cas zap that into your brain?" Dean asked and Nemamiah tilted her head.

"Castiel transferred knowledge that was essential." She bit into another piece of chicken, looking again to Sam. "Can I do that?"

"Do what?" Sam asked, his food half way to his mouth.

"Use sticks to eat with." She held up her fork, gesturing for another fork or stick.

"I... don't see why not." Sam stood up to fish one of the pairs of chopsticks from the bag on Bobby's desk. He handed her the package of disposable sticks. She steadied the box between her knees to inspect the sticks. The slid them from their paper wrapping and inspected them both individually. Sam smiled as he again sat next to her.

"I'm guessing this isn't part of the general knowledge." Sam inquired and she shook her head. She tried holding them like a fork and frowned, looking to Sam again.

"You do it." She said and Sam smiled a bit more because Dean was giving him one of those annoyed looks. He demonstrated how to use them and Nemamiah positioned them between her fingers like so. She practiced and tried lifting a piece of chicken, but it kept slipping from the wood.

"They're just chop sticks." Dean stuffed lo mien into his mouth.

"You're peeved because you still can't use them." Sam smiled knowingly.

"Why the hell should I learn with sticks what I can stab with a fork?" Dean indicated his point by stabbing his fork into the noodles and swirling them around the tines.

"It's tricky." Nemamiah observed and finally stabbed the pesky chicken nugget with the ends of the chop sticks and popping it into her mouth. Dean chuckled.

"See, much easier." Dean pointed out to Sam, who gave him a mild bitch face.

"It's called variety, Dean. Broadening your skills." Sam said.

"Not an important skill." Dean pointed out, "Right, Bobby?"

"Beats looking like an idgit in Japan." Bobby said idly, glancing up at them.

"Bobby can use them too." Sam mentioned, just to dig into Dean a little more.

"Yeah, but he doesn't show off like SOME people." Dean eyed Sam.

"Ah, aw..." Nemamiah was still trying with the pieces in her carton that escaped her grasp.

"It takes practice." Sam assured her, "You'll get it."

"So, what else do you know, Miah?" Dean asked after she acquired another mouthful of food. Nemamiah swallowed and digging in the carton.

"I know that I'm 16 hours old." She said mildly. "We're in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. United states of America. On Earth. February 15th, 2010." Dean nodded as Nemamiah used the side of the container to scoop a piece into her mouth to chew.

"Cas was pretty thorough." Dean deemed and Nemamiah swallowed her mouthful.

"I am half angel and half human." She said, "I'm a nephilim. Angels are ordered to kill me upon sight. " Everyone in the room looked at her but Nemamiah was just still trying to pinch a nugget of chicken between the sticks. It was like a fact that she knew but didn't really grasp the full concept of the danger. "Castiel is fallen and has no more grace. His life is wanted as well. Gabriel is an archangel. He gave me a lollipop." She smiled fondly, "It was strawberry flavored." This startled a chuckle out of Sam and Dean glanced at him.

"The Hell, Sam? Your boyfriend giving out lollipops to kids." Dean decided he was going to have to teach Nemamiah about the old lesson of not taking candy from strangers.

"Trickster or not, he likes sweet things." Sam shrugged and folded up the rest of his food in the container before he stood up to walk into the kitchen to put it away for later.

"I know the Apocalypse has started." She continued thoughtfully, looking up to the ceiling; probably though the same library that Castiel had in his head, "Lucifer walks the earth and there are horsemen. Two now. Sam has demon blood..."

"How about we steer clear of that subject?" Dean waved his fork, wanting to not think about what was just beyond the walls of Bobby's house at the moment or about all the trouble Sam's demon blood junkie days had caused them all. The little girl seemed to be a walking encyclopedia like Castiel, but she was just regurgitating what she'd just learned hours ago. Angels were like fact sponges. Dean just hoped he could squeeze in some useful information; like what music to listen to or what fast food joints to avoid.

Nemamiah took a moment to think and dug into her chicken with more vigor with the chop sticks, "Dean drives a 1967 Chevy Impala." She began to rattle off the information that Castiel had taught her, "He likes burgers, beer, and pie. He sleeps in 4 hour intervals. He likes Metallica, AC/DC, Led Zeplin, Motor Head, Black Sabbath, and he has a nice singing voice." The last one didn't sound like much of a fact, but an opinion.

"Dean didn't sing on the way over..." Sam said curiously as he leaned between the double doors to the kitchen, "Did you hear it..." Sam waved his hand, trying to find the proper words, "Could you hear things when you were still... in Cas?" Nemamiah shook her head.

"No. I only remember awaking in the barn." She said, thinking back a moment, "Castiel told me so." Dean found himself smiling a little, because Castiel thought he had a nice singing voice. And he'd told Nemamiah about it. He dropped the smile when Bobby gave him a raised brow.

"Anything else?" Bobby inquired and Nemamiah bit the end of the sticks, looking into her half empty container.

"I like lions. And wolves." Nemamiah said, thinking back to the programs she watched on TV, "And I can hear angels."

"You can tune into Angel radio?" Dean asked as Nemamiah's cheek was full of chicken, sweet and sour sauce somewhat spattered on her as she was trying with the chopsticks. She nodded. "What are they saying?"

"Castiel told me to turn off the signal." Nemamiah replied after she swallowed.

"You can do that?" Dean asked and again she nodded, "And don't call Cas by his name, call him dad, or, you know, father."

"Father said it was better that I didn't listen." Nemamiah said and Dean raised a brow.

"How 'bout a peek? For me?" Dean asked and Nemamiah looked upwards, as though focusing very hard on a thought. She then opened her mouth, beginning to speak in Enochian; or rather, repeated it. It was slow, but constant and none of the humans really knew too much Enochian.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked curiously.

"Oh, they're just complaining about the new angel escaping with out a trace." Gabriel gained everyone's attention, standing in the door way of the library from the hallway. He gave a half-hearted shrug, "S'all they do. They can never stand the thought of one getting away. Smite this, smite that; you know the drill."

"Gabriel." Sam acknowledged with a note of surprise. Gabriel grinned at Sam, giving him a wink.

"Babe." Gabriel sauntered more into the room, earning Bobby's disapproving glare for popping up uninvited.

"So, what, you just wanted to drop by and offer some holy advice about nephilim?" Bobby asked, "Because so far you've given us squat." Gabriel scoffed.

"I came because Sam told me he was here." Gabriel drummed his hands on Bobby's desk as he walked by and snatched one of the fortune cookies from the Chinese bag. "And just because I haven't hand fed you information, doesn't mean I've been sitting on my thumbs. You bunch have caused me nothing but trouble and I've already cleaned up three of your messes this week." Gabriel plopped down in Sam's seat on the couch and pulled open the plastic. Nemamiah watched Gabriel and smiled lightly when Gabriel offered her a piece of cookie from his package. She attempted to grab it with her chopsticks, "Two of them I blame on Sam." Sam rolled his eyes as he walked more into the room from the kitchen. Nemamiah managed to pop the piece of cookie in her mouth before it fell into her lap.

"You're in my seat." Was Sam's only response. Bobby just leered at the archangel as he took a swig of his drink and Dean was eying Gabriel with unease; but really, Gabriel was the reason they'd gotten away from 3 angels.

"Feel free to sit back down any time, Sam." Gabriel grinned and patted his knee. Sam's face darkened with a blush and took a seat near Bobby's desk and ignored looks from Bobby and Dean. "Spoil sport." Gabriel leaned back in the seat, popping fortune cookie into his mouth.

"So you roasted a few angels and Heaven is scrambling to find Miah?" Dean asked, remembering how Michael had done it without a second look to Anna. Dean looked at Nemamiah, who was pretty messy eater for an angel. He guessed that neatness was taught and not natural to angels... or maybe that was his half of the gene pool.

"I didn't 'roast' any angels." Gabriel scoffed, "I'm not going to kill a few brothers just as a distraction; besides the fact that it would be suspicious as hell. I do have non-lethal methods. I just altered their perception. You know, their memories."

"You can do that to an angel?" Bobby asked.

"It's not as easy as with a human, but yeah. Magic fingers and a few mind blocks, they completely forgot what she even looks like. Or that she's a nephilim. Not to mention my precious, charming face." Gabriel preened and offered Nemamiah another chunk of cookie. Nemamiah popped it into her mouth with the sticks, finding the lighter pieces of food easier to pick up.

"How do you know so much about nephilim?" Dean asked; because Gabriel acted like the know-it-all TV Land and never explained himself. Gabriel rolled his eyes at Dean.

"What part of arch_angel_ did you not understand with our last meeting?" Gabriel gestured with his whole hand to himself, "I've been through my fair share of severance since dropping out of Cloud Sunday School." He ignored the adults' startled expressions and Gabriel tugged on Nemamiah's half splayed wings, "Sweets, you got to keep these tucked, you're going to get them pinched."

"Okay." She folded both wings to her back and slowly closed the Chinese carton as she'd seen Sam do.

"You... have kids?" Sam took a deep breath so Dean guessed Sam hadn't been let in on that detail either. Gabriel chuckled.

"Well, duh, you would sort of know of them." Gabriel waved his hand nonchalantly , "All those legends of Loki are mine. Still, it was a pain to deal with severance when ever it came by. Couldn't exactly let a bunch of new angels pop out of me. So, got it on with a few very enthusiastic..."

"No details." Dean interrupted, gesturing to Nemamiah, who was listening intently. She was just born yesterday and Dean did not want to talk about birds or bees just yet.

Gabriel paused then shrugged, "You know them; my kids. Fenrir, Jormungandr, Hel. They're always the popular ones." Gabriel started holding up fingers and counting them off, "Then of course Sleipnir, Vali, Narfi, Eisa, Einmyria, Festa..." Sam held up his hands.

"You're trying to say that they're all nephilim?" Sam stared hard at Gabriel.

"Well they're not human and angel." Gabriel shrugged and tickled Nemamiah's side, who giggled and slapped away his hands, "Not like this little cabbage patch kid right here." Nemamiah scooted from Gabriel's wiggly fingers and into Dean's lap, wings rustling and flapping, causing a breeze in the room. Dean was startled but moved his food out of the way so a wayward wing didn't knock into it, "You know, you and Castiel made one handsome kid there."

"Thanks, I think." Dean replied wearily and steadied one wing with a hand and the other followed suit. Who knew nephilim were ticklish?

"Most of my kids are jotunn and angel." Gabriel said with clear pride as he leaned heavily on one arm of the couch, "And all nephilim naturally have things that set them apart from actual humans; or jotunn. For example, the wings." He pointed and Nemamiah's wings lifted in curiously, "They can be hidden of course; like all angel wings. But it takes practice."

"So, could you teach her?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Yeah, but it's not my job." Gabriel said around another bit of cookie, "That's Castiel's job. Grace or not, he can still teach her things." He unfolded the little paper inside from the cookie and looked at it. "_'A feather in the hand is better than a bird in the air'_... What does that even mean?" Gabriel muttered and chewed the rest of the cookie he'd stuck in his mouth, dropping the paper on the floor. "Feathers belong on wings..."

"Aren't your _kids_ supposed to start Ragnarok?" Bobby asked, frowning at the paper that had been dropped so carelessly, "You know, the Norse Apocalypse."

"Oh please, there are several apocalypses." Gabriel said with the roll of his eyes, "Just depends on which one happens first. And really, Odin just said most of that Ragnarok stuff because he's a sore old goat who's a closet bisexual. And he was upset that I outed him at a party." Gabriel shrugged, "So of course he complains to the scholars of time time, banishes my kids, and whines that they'll be the end of the world just because Thor got a couple booboos when he was being a pompous prick. So of course my boys get labeled the bullies when they're perfectly good kids."

"Good kids?" Sam sounded skeptic and Gabriel rolled his eyes, hand waving jauntily.

"Okay, for the record, I was pissed when I said Fenrir could eat Odin. But only because he said Jormy would eat the entire planet out of house and home. But as long as whales are bigger than people, no one has anything to worry about. And Hel minds her own business in Neflhiem."

"You mean, the Norse Hell exists?" Bobby asked, as though surprised. Dean just sat back and watched. He was not as caught up with Norse Mythology as Bobby or Sam was. He was still stuck on the fact that Gabriel, of all angels, was a dad.

"Oh Hella yes. Hel and Crowley argue about it all the time..." Gail folded his arms behind his head.

"You know Crowley?" Dean snapped to attention.

"Only through Hel." Gabriel paused, rethinking his words. "My daughter Hel, not the place Hell. Never been. Saw the lay out though..." Sam held his head, as though gaining a headache. Gabriel was just laid back, like this was normal and not the weird, twisted version of history they'd heard. Gabriel looked to Nemamiah, who was listening intently to his words from Dean's lap. "FYI, Sweets. Call me Uncle Loki instead of Gabriel." Nemamiah nodded.

"Okay." She said easily, taking everything in stride.

"So... she's got angel powers, right?" Dean asked and Nemamiah looked up at him and he eyed her, "Don't ya?" She tilted her head, looked at the ceiling, and then after a moment, her head straightened and she looked back at Dean.

"I don't know." She determined. Dean deflated.

"I thought you knew _angel stuff_." Dean said.

"I know what father has shown me." Nemamiah lifted her chin up, "We have not covered _angel stuff_."

"Well you can fly." Dean pointed out.

"Yes." She agreed, wings unfolding gently from her back, "Father pushed me."

"Pushed you?" Dean asked, not remembering any shoving and Castiel had been pretty down for the count.

"Yes, because I've never done it before." Her wings dipped left, then right, as though remembering a pattern in the air, "He used his grace to lift me... but then he passed out once we were over head."

"Well the split will do that to anyone." Gabriel slid from his seat to where Sam sat. He leaned against Bobby's desk, giving Sam a sly grin. "By the way, I want to steal you for a bit."

"Now?" Sam asked uneasily.

"You still owe me a date." Gabriel stated, "And since everyone is batting down for the night, I figured, why not go out?" Sam stared at Gabriel, and then his eyes flickered around the room, grimacing as he felt everyone's eyes on him.

"I guess... I mean..." Sam looked at Dean more, wanting to make sure Dean wasn't going to throw a fit. Dean leered at Gabriel, who was just looking around, waiting for an answer. Dean rubbed his temples with one hand and then waved his other in the air.

"Just go. Just don't go getting my brother killed." Dean relented and Sam pursed his lips, trying to hide how pleased he was.

"Momma-Dean said yes." Gabriel grinned at Sam and put a hand on Sam's, which was on the arm of the chair, "Let's skedaddle before he changes his mind." And with a snap of his fingers, they vanished. Dean glared at the lingering area were they'd been and he looked at Nemamiah.

"If you start flying off somewhere, at least say good bye, got it?" Dean told her and she nodded.

"Okay." She looked at the TV and nodded her head at it, the set turning on to the nearest animal show and she looked back at Dean, "Big Cat Diaries is on."

Dean smiled at her and ruffled her hair, "Okay, Kiddo. You enjoy. Scoot over."

Nemamiah slid back down into the couch next to Dean and was content to watch the cheetahs running around the Sahara.

"You trust that angel with Sam?" Bobby asked wearily and Dean gave Bobby a strained look.

"No, but apparently they've been together for a while, so what the hell?" Dean said shaking his head, "And damn it, I can't remember seeing him this happy before." Dean's cell phone buzzed in his pocket and he answered it, finding a text from Sam.

Sam: Gabe says check the yard for a present.

"Oh great, what the hell could that be?" Dean muttered and got up to look to see what Gabriel had left in the junk yard. He opened the door to Bobby's porch and stepped out, looking around. There was the usual piles of junked cars. Then he realized, the gleaming black paint of a 1967 Impala was parked neatly by the side of the house. Dean swelled up, "Holy shit, he brought my baby back!"

Bobby just looked at the TV and paused in thought hard for a moment as Nemamiah sat back to enjoy the program on a full stomach, "I'm still wonderin' how you're getting' anything past channel 20." He only had basic cable.

* * *

Loki's kids were researched and found as thus.

Fenrir, Jormungand, Hel; from his giantess mistress Angerboda

Sleipnir; the sire was the stallion Svadilfar.

Vali, Narfi; The giant goddess wife Sigyn

Eisa, Einmyria; A Giantess called Glut

Troll-girl Festa; Loki ate the heart of "Gullveig-the witch" (couldn't find a name for her, so I chose Festa, which means heart (fasten; strength; learn my heart; bite; take effect on) in Norse)


	30. Better Late Than Never

Gabriel whisked Sam away from Bobby's and Sam found himself somewhere familiar; like home. It was the Impala. They were both in the back seat. Gabriel tucked his arms behind his head and smiled easily at Sam.

"By the way, look what I found 500 miles away." Gabriel tapped the front seat with the toe of his shoe. Sam sat back, a smile eased onto his face.

"We're not making out here if that's what you were hoping." Sam said after a nice moment. There was the barn where Sam remembered they'd stopped several weeks ago to prep it for Nemamiah's arrival. Gabriel looked around, as though Sam could POSSIBLY be speaking to anyone else.

"_Moi_? As if I could ever suggest such a thing." Gabriel feigned surprise but the little smile at the end told he was feeling anything but offense. Sam rolled over and leaned over, kissing Gabriel's cheek with marksman precision. Gabriel's smile widened, "I did mean a date-date, but if you're going to bring ideas like that up, I'll reconsider."

"No, I'd like the date." Sam hadn't been on an actual date in years. Not since Sarah at that fancy restaurant.

"Alright, pick any place in the world." Gabriel tilted his head back, "France, Japan, Canada; anywhere. Sky is the limit. Hell, I could make a pocket of time, bring back a century or two. My memory is really good. Maybe Rome in the height of it's success? I could even introduce you to some people, huh? Abraham Lincoln? Albert Einstein? Gandhi?" As much as meeting Gandhi was tempting, Sam thought it was too much. None of them he would really think of as date-worthy. Finally, Sam slid closer to Gabriel, Hip to hip, arm to shoulder.

"How about the nearest diner with a good salad bar?" Sam suggested. Gabriel eyed him, a look of disbelief flattening his always-smile.

"The nearest?" Gabriel replied, "I did say anywhere. I got wings you know. We'd be there in literally a snap." Sam shrugged, "I have almost infinite power and you want to go to a salad bar?"

"Gabriel." Sam pressed a kiss to the archangel's hair and Gabriel unfolded his arms from behind his head, craning his neck back slightly to catch eyes with Sam, "It doesn't matter where we go for a date as long as it's you and me." Gabriel stared for a moment, his one arm laying along the back seat of the car, along Sam's shoulders; in a moment of rare, awed silence. Sam took the opportunity to land a kiss on Gabriel's mouth and Gabriel's lips curled against his in a grin.

"You're such a sweet talker." Gabriel brushed his fingers through the hair on the back of Sam's head affectionately. Sam smiled in return.

"And I think you would get brownie points from Dean if you put the Impala in Bobby's lot." Sam hinted.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "I really don't care what your brother thinks of me."

"Well, no, but he might not be such a party pooper when you're around." Sam curled into Gabriel more, his hand cupping Gabriel's neck as he leaned over the archangel more. Gabriel pondered on that a moment.

"Okay, you get that favor. Are you sure you don't want to make out in the back seat first?" Gabriel asked, leaning into Sam's closeness.

"I thought you wanted a real date." Sam reminded him.

"You have looked in a mirror recently, haven't you?" Gabriel asked and Sam tossed his hair back to it was out of his face.

"Date first." Sam said, placing a kiss on Gabriel's nose, "And if it goes well, you can fly us back to your place." Which Gabriel always had since they had started this relationship. Gabriel smirked.

"Cute. If it goes well." Gabriel snapped his fingers.

Sam found himself sitting at a table at a restaurant. They were seated at a two person table, the lights were dim and it looked like a home town bar/grill kind of place. Sam glanced at Gabriel to get his bearings. Sam missed the closeness they had in the Impala, and had not expected the sudden advantage of already being at a table.

"You don't think people will think it's weird we just appeared here?" Sam whispered as Gabriel was glancing around at all the decorations of sports memorabilia and instruments. Gabriel faced Sam in his seat with that easy smile.

"Relax, the hostess remembers she seated people here and we haven't met our waitress yet." Gabriel turned over the menu that was on the table, and of course, he was checking out the desert section. Sam was pretty satisfied after eating Chinese, but having a light salad would be nice if it meant he got to talk to Gabriel, Alone time without Dean or Bobby's eyes judging him. Sam leaned his elbows on the table and looked at the flickering candle that was off to the side, near the window that showed the busy street that showed the night was closing in on the day.

"We've never been on a real date before." Sam mentioned lightly.

"Nope." Gabriel raised his eyes over the menu, sympathetic, "It was never really part of the deal we had going earlier. I heard that you're supposed to talk on these things." Gabriel raised his eyebrows and Sam smiled lightly as their waitress came by and took their orders. After she'd gone with their orders Sam sent his brother a text to know that he was alright, and that he should have a present outside. Sam, rested his hands on the table.

"So, you have kids?" Sam stated after a deep exhale. It was so... odd to think of Gabriel -archangel and Trickster- as a father. He just seemed... Well, to be a bit immature himself. So, Sam really couldn't really guess on how active he was as a dad. Gabriel clicked his tongue and stirred the hot chocolate he'd ordered with a spoon and the whip cream slowly dissolved into the warm mixture.

"Yup, nine-teen in total." Gabriel spoke somberly, "But currently, there are only six." Sam straightened up a little.

"Six?" Sam asked. It was a very drastic change in numbers. "Why only Six?" Gabriel managed a grim smile.

"Well Sam, 11 millennia pass and people tend to die. Nephilim aren't as immortal" Gabriel lifted his head, "But six still live. Fenrir, Jormy, Hel, Sleipnir, and Vali." Gabriel nodded, "Those are the ones that are strong and still thriving." Sam took a deep breath allowing a moment of silence to pass, "Oh Sam, come on, don't focus on the death, you're going to make this date all gloomy." Sam took another deep breath in, he couldn't help it. But then he thought over the names.

"That's only five." Sam said and Gabriel paused.

"Well, I can only assume that one is alive since I don't know him." Gabriel lifted his mug, "He was the last angel I split before I hopped a greyhound bus out of heaven."

"What do you mean... you don't know?" Sam frowned and Gabriel sighed.

"This is not exactly the conversation I thought we'd talk about." Gabriel drank his cocoa.

"If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay." Sam said, not wanting the conversation make either of them uncomfortable. Gabriel tapped the mug with a finger, looking at Sam.

"I'm going to give you a run down of how heaven works." Gabriel set his mug down and Sam looked to his tea, which was done steeping and he lifted the bag from the mug. He nodded for Gabriel to continue, "God made us archangels. Michael, Lucifer, Me, and Raphael. He told us we can have our own children. Michael was first to split, then Lucifer, then me..." Gabriel paused, "And Raphael." Sam had not witnessed much pain in Gabriel. Most things were like water off a duck's back. Sam guessed that's why he didn't think Gabriel would care if he went with Ruby. Gabriel was very good at shirking off what he really felt. The hurt he saw the day Sam left with Ruby was clear and new. But at the table, it seemed to be an old scar rearing its head. And since Gabriel was in his self proclaimed witness protection, he doubted Gabriel talked about Heaven much.

"So you had an angel?" Sam prompted. A slow smile crept onto Gabriel's face; like a distant memory coming into focus.

"A couple, actually. My first was Haniel. Angel of Joy; believe it or not." Gabriel smiled warmly, "My first split. Pure angel. All the archangels had angels. Haniel was curious and liked to play. Really a hand full..." Gabriel took a deep breath, focusing himself, "Long story short. God made humans since we were pretty self sufficient. Lucifer and Michael had a big pissing contest. They fought. Raphael's first, Chamuel, Angel of Peaceful Relationships -"Gabriel swept his hand over the table, "Burnt right into the ground." Sam sat up a bit straighter, surprised.

"Lucifer?" Sam asked.

"No one knows who did it." Gabriel shrugged, "Could have been either of those dicks. Raphael lost it though. Said he couldn't bare to have another and lose it too. But well, severance is on a clock you see. You don't get a choice." Gabriel too in a deep breath, "But Michael, he found a way to stop it. Put it on hold. How ever you say it. He flipped the breeding on/off switch. So, Raphael got his switch turned off and Michael institutionalized the severance law. 'All angels will be split and their father shall only be God'. So, we had brothers instead of children." Sam frowned.

"That's... that's insane." Sam remembering Castiel during his severance. He was quiet in the beginning when he was in Heaven, almost shunning his own unborn angel, "Children should know their parents."

"A bit insane, yeah." Gabriel agreed eyes drifting off into the distance, " I had my second and well... I had no clue who he was. Never saw him. Michael never flipped my switch, I didn't let him." Gabriel looked at Sam, looking steeled for a moment, with a memory that was unpleasant, "Then Lucifer and Michael had their real fight; after he turned that human Lilith into a demon. Angels died fighting, and well, I refused to fight. But... I found Haniel..." It took a moment for Gabriel to continue and Sam let him have the time to do it. "Haniel had fought and he died doing it. And that was it, I couldn't take it anymore. I fled." Gabriel smiled bitterly but it didn't stay long. The fake smile melted away. He huffed, looking down, "Such a stupid fight..." Sam rested a hand on Gabriel's wrist and Gabriel lifted his eyes up from his mug.

"Is that why you left?" Sam asked, "The breaking point?" Gabriel's shoulders slumped and he rolled his wrist so he could hold Sam's hand in his.

"Yeah." He admitted, "Not something I wanted to say to your bro in the warehouse, y'know?" Sam smiled a little.

"Yeah." Sam nodded. As sad as the memory had to be for Gabriel. Sam felt he understood Gabriel a little more, "So, Fenrir?" Gabriel smiled a little more familiarly. A bit more proudly.

"My first split on Earth you know. He's a wolf, strongest there is." Gabriel grinned, "Angerboda was just the sassiest jotunness in Jotenhiem." Sam thought back on his Norse Mythology.

"Wasn't Angerboda a woman though..." Sam wasn't sure how severance worked with Gabriel being a man. Gabriel chuckled.

"Doesn't have to work like Dean and Castiel. An angel in a male vessel may get energy from a woman by sleeping with her. It's not really the DNA, per-say. Sex is a very large energy exchange. And to the grace, it's as good as fertilization." Gabriel shrugged and his fingers started playing along Sam's knuckles, "Think of it as, salmon spawning. Salmon ladies make the eggs, and if they're fertilized, viola`, nephilim. If not fertilized, pure angel."

Their waitress came by and Sam flushed, because their hands were still connected. However, Gabriel didn't let Sam slide his hand away like Sam wanted to. Sam was still unsteady about showing his affection to men in public. The waitress seemed surprised, but she set down Sam's salad before him and Gabriel's fruit tart before him. When Gabriel told her they didn't need anything else she nodded and walked away.

"Date-date." Gabriel reminded and Sam let out a slow breath, "Still got one foot in the closet, huh?"

"I don't exactly advertise." Sam muttered. Gabriel gave a wry smile, "How did you manage to get through college without sampling anything. Seriously?"

"I met Jess." Sam's throat tightened. Gabriel nodded slowly.

"You still haven't told me about Jess."

"I don't like to talk about it."

"I spilled my sob story, I do want to hear yours." Gabriel eyed Sam, "You said the last person you felt for like this burst into fire."

Sam pursed his lips for a moment. It was still painful and somehow still felt fresh, "Later, please? I just... don't want the off chance of crying on the first date." Gabriel relented with a nod.

"That would be awkward." Gabriel agreed, "So, why a lawyer?" Sam's mouth tugged into a smile.

They talked about happier things after that, nibbling at their chosen items. The Apocalypse was not allowed to be spoken of, as were hunting or heaven, but talking about movies and people were nice enough. And holding hands felt right while Gabriel occasionally turned the ring on Sam's hand and pressed his legs against Sam's. Sam smiled warmly, wanting to saver the rare peace. Sam thought lingeringly, he wanted to get used to it.


	31. Headaches and Heartaches

Dean peeked into Bobby's bed room that night, checking in on Castiel. The man was curled up in sheets; cocooned himself at one point. Dean shuffled over and he patted where he guessed Castiel's shoulder was, "Hey. It's been a few hours. How are you feeling?"

Castiel hummed and rolled over, looking blearily up at Dean, "Hours?" he finally registered and Dean nodded, leaning over Castiel. Castiel's eyes were slowly focusing; gaining more clarity.

"Yeah. Miah went down and ate already. Do you want anything?" Dean noted how much messier Castiel's hair was and how his eyes were a dark blue in the lamp light.

"Yes." Castiel pushed the covers down and slid to the edge of the bed gingerly. He pulled the shoulders of his clothes since they had rolled tighter around him as he slept.

"Hope you like beef stir-fry." Dean watched Castiel organize and push himself to his feet. He seemed unsteady, but waved Dean off when Dean's hands were poised to help. Castiel managed to put his trench coat on by himself, so that was a plus.

"Nemamiah is well?" Castiel inquired, taking slow steps towards the door.

"Yeah, she's a peach." Dean followed, resting a hand against Castiel's back.

"In what way is she a fruit?" Castiel cocked his head at Dean, perplexed. Dean took a deep breath, but a wry smile was on his face.

"She's a sweet kid." Dean made it to the stairs first, watching Castiel taking his steady steps and gripping the railing firmly as they descended, "A little too smart for her age if you ask me. What, 20 hours old? She definitely doesn't look it."

"She is not full grown because she's not full angel." Castiel mused, "Perhaps her body is the result of humans starting so young and a newly fledged angel's grace." Castiel looked at his own hand when he reached the bottom steps, "Being physical is... very different than being myself." Dean stopped there with him as Castiel looked at his own hand and then traced a line on his palm with a finger. Dean stepped closer, resting a hand on Castiel's shoulder.

"You're going to be fine." Dean assured him, "We'll eat and rest up, then tomorrow, we'll go and get Miah some real clothes. She can't go running around in Sam's shirt forever." Castiel sighed slowly and his eyes lifted to meet Dean's. Dean could tell then; it was all gone. Every last trace of grace was gone from Castiel. Like Anna and like Jimmy. Like the future Castiel he remembered; though with less mileage and less drugs. He was human, and Castiel was less than thrilled about it. Dean leaned in, catching Castiel's lips against his. Castiel took in a deep breath against his lips and some tension drained from him. It was still familiar; Dean was relieved that it was still warm and welcomed.

A rumble that was much different from the vibration of Nemamiah erupted from Castiel's flat stomach and Castiel's eyes opened from the kiss. His face was formed into a grimace and he leaned heavily on Dean, "I'm famished." He proclaimed.

"Yeah, I can tell." Dean said and steered Castiel into the library area. Nememiah was sitting in the center of the couch and an animal documentary on crocodiles was playing. Bobby had actually rolled his wheelchair over to the couch and was watching it with her; as Dean had been there only a few minutes before. Nemamiah sat up straighter when Castiel came in and her wings lifted behind her. Despite Castiel's hunger, which had been gnawing at him for nearly two days, he went over and took up the spot next to her; moving slowly since his body still ached. Nemamiah smiled widely at him and pointed to the TV.

"The water buffalo is going to get eaten." She announced and Castiel pet her short hair fondly, resting his eyes for a moment since he was back with his daughter, "By the crocodiles."

"Yes, the crocodiles need to eat, and the migration time is the best time to feed." Castiel informed her as Dean headed to the kitchen to grab some of the uneaten Chinese, "How are you feeling?"

"Good." She said with a smile, "Bobby's really nice. He explains a lot that's on the TV." Nice wasn't often a word used to describe Bobby. Surly, maybe. Grumpy, most of the time. And most definitely paranoid.

"It wasn't a big deal." Bobby muttered, scratching his beard and trying to brush off the girl's kind comment, "She's a curious kid."

"She is a tribute to her namesake." Castiel said with a fondness unheard of before.

"Father, I learned to use chopsticks." Nemamiah lifted her head proudly, "And I ate sweet and sour chicken. It was good."

"Made a damn mess of herself too." Bobby noted and Castiel saw the spots of orange sauce stained on the gray t-shirt. Her face and hands were clean though, because Dean had cleaned her off. Castiel tugged on a section of it before he nodded.

"Dean is right, you require extra clothing." Castiel noted.

"Dad says that a lot." Nemamiah said.

"I'm sure he has." Castiel knew Dean commented on lack of clothing constantly while Castiel was in need of them, "None of our clothes will fit you."

"You're all too big." Nemamiah informed him and Dean walked in with a couple cartons of microwaved Chinese food.

"Maybe you're too small, half pint." Dean handed Castiel the cartons and the smell of food made Castiel's mouth water. He took them gratefully and opened them both, finding the stir fry and the other white rice.

"No, you're all too big." She corrected, her wings lifting behind her and feathers fluffing, as though they made her bigger. Dean patted one of them and they neatly folded back.

"Don't go puffing those out just because you're still a kid." Dean had the bag of remaining egg rolls in hand and Nemamiah fixated on them.

"Dean is right." Castiel dug his fork into the carton of stir fry and popped the first bite into his mouth with a sound of satisfaction. Nemamiah's wings folded to her back at Castiel's confirmation.

"I am?" Dean raised his brows and sat on the other side of the couch, Nemamiah between them. Castiel chewed and swallowed.

"Displaying your wings thus is a display of intimidation and it is rather rude." Castiel put the second loaded fork into his mouth, his appetite taking over.

"Oh. That's a thing?" Dean didn't appear aware of it and Castiel didn't really expect Dean to understand the fine intricacies that wings communicated.

"Sorry." Nemamiah said lowly, sounding sincere.

"Ah, it's alright." Dean said and waved an egg roll in front of her, "Egg roll?" Her face lit up again and she took it.

"Yes." she took it and popped one end into her mouth. A phone in the kitchen rang and Bobby rolled towards it, because it was his job to go answer the phones to get some hunter out of trouble.

Castiel did not so much as eat as he did swallow his stir-fry. The food was salty and drenched in flavor, but it felt good as it made its way down to his belly. He never wanted to experience hunger like that again. Unfortunately eating too fast made him start coughing and Dean leaned over over Nemamiah, to hand him an already open beer and thumped his palm on Castiel's sore backside, but it did help the lump of food dislodge and go down. Castiel breathed and quickly drank a couple mouthfuls of the luke-warm beer.

"Easy on the food." Dean and Castiel sighed, forcing himself to pause. His body wanted to stuff itself on instinct, to make sure there was enough food to function on. He was not sure if he could resist the temptation once he could easily eat again.

"Father, you should eat slower." Nemamiah advised and Castiel smiled lightly.

"Nemamiah, may you never feel the starvation of several days." Castiel set the bottle down and started to eat again, but this time slower and making sure to chew each bite. Dean nodded sympathetically.

"Yeah, it sucks." Dean chewed on an egg roll and tucked it into his cheek, watching as Castiel started scooping rice into the stir fry carton; Dean had taught him that trick weeks ago, "So, since we're going shopping tomorrow, you can hide her wings, right?" Castiel paused in his conquest to fill his stomach and looked at Nemamiah, whose wings lifted innocently at their mention, "Gabriel mentioned you could."

"I believe so, yes." Castiel said thoughtfully, gazing at the physical manifestation of wings, "wing manipulation in general, yes, I believe she is able to tuck them." Castiel took one last bite from the carton before setting the food aside and he wiped his hands on his dubbed ugly-yoga-pants. He gestured for Nemamiah and she slid from her seat to stand in front of Castiel, like earlier that day. Castiel turned her by gently pushing her shoulder and his hand cupped the wrist of the wing, inspecting the limb. Castiel could still feel things, even without his grace, but his eyes did not see very well in the normal human light spectrum, nor could he easily hear all the signals of sound. But he could tell that Nemamiah was not all physically human. There was an ethereal hum to her, much like the way she'd been attached to him only days ago. His fingers slid along the feathers, remembering his own briefly. He was all too aware of the lightness on his back now.

"Yes." Castiel finally said, pressing into the joint to the wing stretched out gracefully. The wings were still dusted with the soft fluffy feathers, which littered Bobby's house in black specks. Nemamiah was not bothered with her father's touch on her wing, "These wings are infused with grace. She should be able to tuck them." He brushed over the baby feathers, which he'd never seen on an angel before. He brushed away some of the loose ones and Nemamiah's wing twitched under his hands.

"Father..." Nemamiah said in a part whine and Dean smiled as he watched the process.

"You have the adolescent feathers of a bird." Castiel released her wings from his hands and turned her so he could give him a warm smile, "And you flew us so far." It came out much more awed and proud, but that was fine because this was his daughter.

"I did good?" Her face lit up and she straightened with a smile.

"You did beyond what you were able." Castiel praised and the smile turned into her first grin. Castiel mused that she looked so much like Dean then.

"Well you did haul our asses out of there." Dean put in his own praise, moving closer on the couch next to Castiel, "And just after being born. Hell of a feat." Nemamiah puffed out her chest and lifted her head proudly. Dean looked over at Castiel, who glanced over at Dean, "So, her having wings and feathers aren't abnormal for angels?"

"Angels are split fully fledged." Castiel explained, "We are normally celestial energy, but they can be manifested in a vessel as wings that resemble birds'."

Dean inclined his head slightly to the side, surprised, "So you have the whole shebang? Wings and feathers? They aren't just a light show?"

Castiel grimaced a bit, "I had wings. I never manifested them. There was no need to. But well... they faded with the last of my grace. They are but a memory. Phantom limbs, if you will." Castiel ran a nostalgic hand through Nemamiah's feathers and his daughter gave him a mix of sadness and confusion, as though she could not comprehend such a loss. Which was understandable since Castiel could not remember a day where he wondered what it would be like to be wingless. Castiel gave her a fond smile anyway, pushing away those thoughts, "They are now Nemamiah's. And I can not think of a better place for them." Nemamiah's wing pressed back against his hand in a way that was meant to be soothing and Dean rested a hand on Castiel's shoulder in his own sympathetic way. Castiel straightened himself, clearing his throat, "Nemamiah, for your own safety, you should keep your wings tucked to appear human."

Nemamiah nodded, "Okay. How do I do that?" Castiel gathered the thoughts together, the ones he's acquired from centuries of practice and he touched his daughter's forehead. For knowledge humans had no words for, he pressed the thoughts to her, as he had been taught before.

Unfortunately, it was not easy to do without grace. Luckily, Nemamiah was still an entity of grace so she could receive his thoughts, but since he'd awoken and started transferring knowledge, a steady headache had grown every time he pressed forward his experiences from his existence. This time it was a sharp crack of pain to his eyes and he shut them tight for a moment. He opened them slowly and Nemamiah's eyes closed in turn. She stood straighter and her wings started to fade, like a drop of ink in water. They shimmered and then dispersed into nothingness. Even the shirt collar that had been stretched fell slack against her back. Nemamiah breathed and opened her eyes. Dean moved hesitantly reaching out and waving his hand where her wings had been before, as though he'd seen an illusion. Nemamiah looked up and around before looking back and crinkling her nose at Castiel.

"They're cramped." she stated.

"Well, you're not pure celestial intent so I suppose putting them in a separate plane of existence would be a tight squeeze." Castiel agreed, ignoring the pain above and behind his eyes, "You can have them out when it's me, Dean, Sam, and Bobby. But tuck them if there is anyone else." Nemamiah looked up in thought.

"What about Uncle Loki?" She asked.

"Uncle Loki?" Castiel's head tilted to the side, brows furrowing.

"Gabriel." Dean answered and Castiel slowly nodded his head.

"Ah, yes. I suppose since Gabriel already knows." Castiel replied wearily. Being trapped in TV Land on a horror movie while in severance did not immediately instill trust in the archangel. Even if Gabriel had been the one to hide Nemamiah from Heaven's collectors. And for that, Gabriel recieved leniency.

"Uncle Loki has children too." Nemamiah placed her hand on Castiel's knee, "Does that mean I have cousins?" Castiel's mouth fell open in surprise.

"Gabriel has children?" Castiel inquired and glanced at Dean. Dean nodded.

"He popped in earlier. Apparently he can't keep it in his pants and all of of those monsters from the god Loki are nephilim too." Dean gave the short handed version. Castiel thought on this. He'd never considered that Gabriel hid himself by turning his brood into angel and beast hybrids. It was tactical cunning for hiding, but it gave Castiel an uneasy feeling. Castiel studied Dean's half laid back expression. It had never been Castiel's intent to create a nephilim with the man, but he did not feel too guilty; as he was sure he should be more ashamed if he was in Heaven. Nemamiah had her own flesh and blood and her soul was new and radiant. He could feel that and he still felt no regrets for their night together.

"I suppose they would share some sort of kinship. You are all of angel decent." Castiel was filled with conflicting thoughts. Gabriel was a loose cannon and the beasts of Loki had even been heard of in Heaven; monsters, as the rest were. To be smote on sight.

"I'd like to know that those kids won't eat us," Dean folded his arms, "Before we start calling them family."

"Okay." Nemamiah agreed slowly. Dean glanced at Castiel.

"Gabriel's already too comfortable zapping Sam off to who knows where." Dean commented begrudgingly.

"Sam is with Gabriel?" Castiel asked wearily and he sat back, taking up his carton of food.

"Yeah, they're officially... together. Like a couple." Dean said a tad awkwardly.

There was a moment of heavy silence. Couple; that human term of oneness between two people. That period of claiming an emotional, and usually sexual, mate. Whether that had been accomplished between Castiel and Dean was unknown to Castiel. And Dean did not appear eager to bring it up at the moment. However...

"Like you and father?" Nemamiah asked Dean.

"Uh... well..." Dean's eyes flickered wearily between Nemamiah and Castiel. His eyes lingered on Castiel questioningly. Castiel remembered the past few months; the times Dean held him and kissed him. They hadn't talked about it, but there was something there, was there not?

"We have been intimate," Castiel explained to his daughter, "But we have not yet discussed a formal relationship as of yet." Dean stared at him.

"Formal relationship?" Dean repeated. Castiel paused and looked up at Dean, who looked startled. Castiel pursed his lips and Nemamiah looked between them, confused.

"Have I... assumed too much?" Castiel had never felt his internal organs drop before, but he found it to be an unpleasant experience. Dean shifted, expression telling of discomfort.

"Look. It's been a long day." Dean said, "Let's talk about it another time, huh? We should get some sleep."

Castiel let out a soft breath and finished his meal in a few more bites. His body still ached and the headache above his eyes was growing steadily sharper. He was not in any condition to think upon all the moments of touch and kisses with Dean and think there was nothing there. But to think Dean didn't want something formal, something as traditional as being with Castiel... Castiel had never felt such despair, and he tried to brush it off from his mind. He and Dean had not even discussed it yet. He should not be hurt by the thought of Dean not being his. But that thought pained him more than the split itself.

Bobby bid them all a gruff good night before they headed upstairs and a reminder "That bed is for sleepin' in only." Castiel caught Dean making an amusing face of embarrassment, but spitefully did not pity Dean for it. They headed upstairs and once back in Bobby's room, Nemamiah's wings faded back into existence from sub-space. They lifted and gave a helpful half-flap as she crawled into bed. Castiel climbed back into his spot and Dean took the other side.

"Easy with the wings, Miah." Dean warned as Nemamiah amused her spot in the middle. Dean was shedding his clothes to the minimum comfort but Castiel hadn't removed his trench coat this time; he felt chilled.

"Okay." Nemamiah folded them against her back and when Castiel was settled, Nemamiah rolled back the covers and nestled herself beside him. Dean was the last one in after them after the lights were turned out. Light came in from the Singer Auto Lot, so it was not pitch black in the room. Castiel pressed a kiss to his daughters forehead and curled an arm over top the blankets. Good nights were murmured all around, even by Dean. Castiel closed his eyes, feeling the bed shift as everyone settled in. Castiel felt a warm calloused hand take his. Castiel knew it was Deans; he'd done it several times before the split. It was warm and comforting. But Castiel drew it away and instead, tucked it around and under Nemamiah. Castiel felt selfish. Dean had given him so much affection and helped him keep his daughter. Who was he to ask more from Dean? But still, Dean's apprehension to a formal relationship -to perhaps what Sam and Gabriel had found- drained the happiness. Being a couple sounded like what he wanted with Dean. And if it wasn't what they'd been striving for, why was Dean so loving?

Dean's hand slid up Castiel's arm and cupped his elbow. Castiel opened his eyes, finding Dean's in the low light of the room. No expression could really be read but Dean gave him a reassuring squeeze and Castiel closed his eyes again, but his hand lifted, running his knuckles along Dean's forearm, to say it was alright. Dean was letting him know that he wasn't going anywhere.

Perhaps Castiel was being selfish. But Dean didn't have to be there. He didn't have to help Castiel keep Nemamiah. Castiel should have been content that Dean was by his side; not his. He should be content with that; but he wasn't.


	32. Holes In The Picket Fence

Currently my full focus is on the Sabriel Mini Bang that's going on and I need to tweak and add things to my entry, so I will be going back to Thursday updates only for September. Updating twice a week definitely went faster than I was ready for. After September, I'll be back to Angel Baby with less distraction. :) Some of you guys have made some good educated guesses on ploty things, and I really appreciate your reviews.

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Dean smothered a chuckle in his hand as he saw Nemamiah's eyes go wide as they stepped out of the Impala into the parking lot of the local department store. She lifted her arms, taking in the entirety of the building.

"It's so big." she said in awe. Nemamiah had been wide eyed since they entered town. Dean assumed she was losing that initial angel stiffness the more she explored the world. Castiel closed his door, approaching Dean and Nemamiah with calm steps. Despite Castiel's long nap the day before, he's still slept 10 more hours before Dean woke him up again with brunch. Nemamiah discovered she liked eggs and bacon and Dean found a strip of leather that he could tie around her waist to make Sam's shirt more like a dress. Crude, but usually people wore clothes before they went clothes shopping.

Nemamiah's wings were 'tucked', which had to be an angel term because they were completely gone. Castiel had run a brush through his hair and Nemamiah's. Nemamiah then watched Castiel shave his 3 day beard. Dean mused that he was probably going to have to introduce Castiel to a hair cut; lest he end up with hair like Sam. Castiel held up a piece of scrap paper in one hand and took Nemamiah's hand in the other as as they headed inside.

Bobby of course had told them to pick up food if they were going to be at his place for a while. Dean wasn't sure how long they were going to be staying; Sam and him would have to continue hunting once Castiel was back up to snuff. But at the moment, Dean just wanted to focus on some simple shopping.

Entering the store, they found the girl's section, "Well Miah, time to get you some real clothes." Dean grimaced a bit at the abundance of pink and baby blue, "see anything you like?" Nemamiah put her fingers to her mouth and started roaming the girl's section. "So..." Dean glanced over at Castiel, who looked back at him, finally looking fully awake. There really hadn't been any conversation since last night. Dean knew Castiel had pulled away from him while they were going to sleep. But... a formal relationship? How was he supposed to take that? Did Castiel want to get hitched? Sure they had a daughter and he liked Castiel, more than he'd been expecting to. But did Castiel really want to be with him? Did Dean want to be with Castiel? Monogamy had never really worked out for Dean before. And well... Did he really want to try it with a man/fallen angel?

"Nemamiah will need necessities" Castiel held up the list, jotting down a few human items that he'd needed when he'd stopped using his grace.

"Yeah." Dean nodded, "We can do that once we get her into some clothes."

"Might I suggest a shopping cart?" Castiel asked, looking to the line of plastic and metal baskets on wheels. Dean raised an eyebrow. He hadn't so much as touched a shipping cart since his dad had taken him and Sam shopping. And Sam had still been small enough to stick in the basket when he was being an annoying brat. Dean suspected Sam actually enjoyed being in the cart because it was Dean's job to push him around. Dean smiled a bit.

"Not a bad idea, actually." Dean said and patted Castiel's shoulder before going to get a cart. When he'd returned, so had Nemamiah. And she looked discontent.

"I don't like anything I like." She announced.

"Oh come on, there's got to be something you like." Dean looked at all the teeny-bop colors and cartoons and grimaced. Nemamiah was a girl. Little girls wore pink and polka-dots and sequins galore, right? They liked that sort of stuff. Nemamiah looked up and picked one of the frilliest pink and white polka-dotted shirts that looked like a half mix of a tu-tu.

"Dad, would YOU wear something as dysfunctional and brightly colored like this?" She asked and Dean's grimace deepened with several mish-mashed thoughts; such as: 'No skirts', 'not on a hunt', 'nothing from the little girl's section', and 'godfuckingdamnitNO'.

"How about we look in the boy's section?" Dean suggested and that's when they migrated across the isle to the darker and more comfortable colors

Castiel leaned against the cart handle as Nemamiah was picking through the clothes. It took a few tries to size her, but eventually they did. Nemamiah picked out blues and greens. She also found something similar to Sam's plaid shirts, along with a few t-shirts (one had a lion, one had a wolf) and khaki cargo pants that looked suspiciously the same shade of Castiel's trench coat.

"Pockets." Nemamiah pointed out with a grin. Dean smiled.

"Don't go stuffing them full of rocks." Dean tossed the clothes into the cart. Sam did that all the time when he was like 6. They'd stop on the road and Sam would pick up a rock and stick it in his pocket. By the end of the week, John would dump Sam's pants out with a sigh was they clunked outside and tell Sam again to stop doing it.

"Why would I do that?" Nemamiah quirked her head curiously and Dean shrugged.

"Sam used to do it all the time." Dean mentioned, "Come on, you need shoes."

To Dean's heart felt amusement, they found light up batman shoes and Nemamiah jumped up and down a bit to show Castiel. Castiel smiled endearingly as he rested upon one of the shoe seats.

"Why do they make them light up?" Nemamiah asked, bemused but it did not stop her stomping, "Serves no function at all."

"It serves to amuse you, doesn't it?" Castiel asked and Nemamiah paused to think on that and she nodded.

"It does." she assessed as Dean tossed kid socks into the cart.

"Aright, let's buy this before we get everything else." Dean said and they headed to the check out. The clerk gave a raised brow to Nemamiah's lack-there-of clothing and Dean tried to ignore it; and the fact that he was using another stolen credit card.

"Air ports, man, always losing luggage." Dean complained loudly and swiped the card. His bitterness towards airports must have shown through because the cashier gave an understanding nod and then started to mention his own trip to Texas, where the airport had lost his own bag for a week and his trip was completely ruined.

Castiel was leaning heavily on the cart handle and watching Nemamiah pick through the the odds and ends that they stuck next to every register. Dean wasn't sure if Castiel wasn't talking because he was upset with Dean but he could tell for sure that the man still looked exhausted. Dean just hoped the split didn't have any other side effects.

After 5 or 10 minutes in the bathroom, Nemamiah was finally dressed in real kid clothes. She wore her new batman shoes, khaki cargo pants (like the crocodile hunter, Nemamiah mentioned) the red shirt with the lion and one of the button down plaid shirts which she left open. Dean was just glad she was finally wearing underwear (Nemamiah had picked out briefs since Dean couldn't convince her to go back into the girl's section).

Dean realized she looked more boy than girl, but Hell, as long as she was happy with it. Castiel pet Nemamiah's hair once she showed her new outfit to him.

"Comfortable?" Castiel asked

"Yes." She looked at herself, spinning this way and that, "But there are no place for my wings to come out."

"I'm sure we can find something." Castiel said as they started round two of the store.

Once Baby was filled with kid essentials and food, Dean tossed a medication bottle into Castiel's lap as the ex-angel was settled in shot gun. Nemamiah had climbed into the back seat and was sorting through some of the plastic bags. Castiel quirked his head at the orange prescription bottle that read Vicodin and did not read any of the brother's names, "You're still hurting from the split, right?" Dean slid into the driver seat.

"I suppose I am." Castiel rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand and gave an effort-like sigh as he sat up, "I'm better than earlier. But the headache is persistent, as does the spine..."

"Well take one of those," Dean said as he pulled out of the parking spot, "It'll stop what ever ails ya." Nemamiah climbed over the front seat between them, a bright red delicious apple wedged in her mouth, "Miah, don't climb over the seat while I'm driving."

"Okay." Nemamaiah crunched down on the apple and chewed. Castiel dug out one of the pills and took it dry before a thought occurred to Dean.

"Does Miah have healing powers?" Dean asked, "I mean, it would get you back up to par." Nemamaiah looked between them and Castiel looked at his daughter.

"I was going to wait until I was felling better." Castiel capped the bottle, "Transferring knowledge is not natural without grace. Showing her to tuck her wings was barely manageable." Castiel held his head over his brow, "I do believe this is why the headache grew." Dean frowned.

"Yeah, I guess that would make it difficult." Dean drove from the lot and ruffled Nemamaiah's hair, gaining her attention, "Guess you'll have to learn things the old fashioned way, kiddo. Trial and error."

"Okay." She paused in mid bite of the apple, looking back up at Dean, "How do I do that?"

"Well, trying something and if you fail, you try again and fail better next time."

"I thought it was try again until you succeed." Castiel input.

"Yeah, that too." Dean agreed.

They arrived back and by that time Sam was there, looking unfairly content with himself when Dean demanded he help with groceries. Nemamiah happily showed off her new clothes to Sam.

"Where's my shirt?" Sam asked Dean as they were gathering bags to take into Bobby's house.

"Tossed it." Dean answered as he placed a couple bags into Sam's hands. Sam sighed, "Wasn't like you were going to wear it again."

"But it was _my_ shirt." Sam protested, "I would have liked the chance to decide if it was wearable or not." Nemamiah took it upon herself to carry as many bags as possible and gathered several bags at once as the brothers were talking.

"Or you wanted to say good-bye to it." Dean smirked.

"I don't say good-bye to my rags." Sam frowned at Dean.

"You do too." Dean argued as he grabbed for more shopping bags for himself to carry in, "You probably have a little funeral going on in that thick skull..." He paused, his hand only finding the Impala's leather seat instead of more shopping bags. He looked around but found nothing, "Where the hell did they go?"

"I got them, Dad!" Nemamiah called from the porch. Both her arms were full of bulging plastic bags, with clothes, food and miscellaneous human maintenance supplied. Castiel was with her and he had one bag. She tried going into the house but the bags stopped her because there were just too many to go in at once. Dean's jaw dropped; he'd forgotten she was stronger than she looked.

"One arm at a time, Nemamiah." Castiel suggested and she stepped in sideways, making it through on the second try. Sam smiled and held out one shopping bag to Dean.

"You should help carry stuff in, Dean." Sam mocked Dean's earlier demands that Sam help. Dean begrudgingly took the bag and spied the shine off the black stone that was on Sam's hand.

"You know that's hudu, right." Dean eyed it and Sam paused, looking at the ring.

"Gabriel said it was safe." Sam said slowly, "Nothing bad's happened so far."

"So far." Dean quipped because that was usually how their luck ran. Sam's face flushed as he looked at the ring.

"Look, Gabriel cut it off Famine and he gave it to me as..." Sam flinched, as though unable to believe he was telling his brother this, "A posy ring. Like a promise ring. Don't you say anything." Dean closed his mouth and rolled his eyes, "It's not a marriage thing. It's.. symbolic and I..." Sam took a deep breath, "I love him, okay? I want to keep him..."

"That is creepy and mushy all at the same time." Dean cut in, "So you two are really together? All romance and flowers?" Sam shrugged a little and fiddled with the ring on his hand.

"Yeah." Sam agreed and Dean grumbled a little, shutting the Impala door, "Dean, where did War's ring get put?" Dean paused.

"Why?" Dean's brows rose high, eying Sam.

"I want to... well, I want to give it to Gabriel." Sam rubbed his arm and Dean gave him a disbelieving look.

"Sam, it's a key to Lucifer's Cage, and you want to give it to GABRIEL." Dean frowned.

"I know, but... he's basically on our side." Sam ignored Deans glare, "Without Gabriel we wouldn't even know about the cage, okay? He told us, and that means he's trying to help."

"If he wants to help he can fight Lucifer with us..." Dean grumbled.

"POINT is, I cut off War's ring, and Gabriel cut off Famine's and I want to give it to him as a temporary ring until after the Apocalypse, okay?" Sam managed to spit out in one breath with his face a nice rosy red. Dean stared at him and threw his hands into the air, the bag in his hand rattling.

"Fine, God, take it." Dean scoffed, "It's in the trunk in my gun bag. Out side pocket." Sam smiled and went to the trunk, "We better get them all back."

"We will, we will." Sam said as he dug around the trunk for what he was looking for. Dean sighed and went inside.

Nemamiah was in the kitchen and Bobby was directing her to where everything went. Castiel was helping as well, but not as enthusiastically as Nemamiah. He was still moving like he was 80 but he was putting the perishables away in the fridge.

"That medication kick in yet?" Dean asked and Castiel stood, closing the refrigerator.

"I believe so." Castiel gathered another bag of items and started to order them in the freezer, "The headache has lessened. But I still feel rather tired."

"You could rest up some more in a bit." Dean suggested and Castiel sighed.

"I'm tired of resting. I should be healed by now." Castiel said crossly.

"Get used to it, you don't have the angel juice to heal up anymore." Dean said and Castiel shot him a glare over his shoulder that was about the temperature the icebox was. Dean knew he said the wrong thing and he grimaced. That didn't come out like he wanted it to, "I meant..." He tried again as he watched Castiel resume his chore with a little more vigor, "You just got to be a bit patient. I know it sucks being laid up, believe me, I know. It's just... the best you can do until you're better."

Castiel shut the freezer, giving Dean another look, one that was less freezing but not out of jacket weather, "Yes, Dean, I know." Castiel walked over to Dean, holding his hands out for Dean's bag, "I will rest after everything is put away." Dean held out the bag, not wanting to get any further south when he already felt like he was in the dog house. Castiel checked the contents of the bag before leaving the room to put the toiletries away, nearly brushing past Dean, but Castiel veered far out of Dean's lean to do so, making Dean frown after him.

"Idjit." Bobby snorted and Dean turned, seeing Bobby was looking at him from his wheel chair and Nemamiah was sitting on the counter, a few of the cabinets open where food was being put, "What's this 'get used to it' crap?"

"I know, I know." Dean waved his hands, opening another bag that was on the counter. It was one less bag Castiel would have to do later, "Stupid thing to say."

"Good. Don't say it again." Bobby handed another can to Nemamiah, who pushed herself to her knees again to put the cans away.

Dean kicked himself, remembering Castiel mentioning his phantom limb-wings and Bobby in his chair. It wasn't like Castiel was getting new wings and Bobby wasn't growing new legs. So yeah, they had to get used to it, but they didn't need him reminding them of their disabilities. Dean decided to shut his mouth for a bit before he dug his own grave deeper.


	33. With This Ring, I Promise

"Bobby said there's a case about a day's drive from here." Sam said as Dean was working under Baby's hood. Dean took the opportunity to fix the Impala when ever they were at Bobby's. There was parts galore, tools to work with, and Baby needed a tune up before they headed out on the road again.

"More cannibalism?" Dean asked hopefully, twisting the bolt back into place and Sam was leaning in with Dean, watching the progress. Dean was spotted with bits of car grime and Sam was handing him tools for the job.

"No, more like animal attacks." Sam was holding a hatchet wrench in his hand, "3 in one night, and the same thing happened last month around this time. The hearts were missing."

"Just the heart?" Dean glanced at his brother.

"From what Bobby heard, yeah." Sam nodded.

"Sounds like our thing." Dean agreed and held out a hand for the wench and Sam held it out to him, "We should check it out. ASAP." Sam was given the screw driver in the wrench's place.

"We could leave tonight." Sam glanced at Bobby's house, "But what about Miah and Cas?"

"What about them?" Dean asked, brows lowered in defense.

"I mean, is Miah coming on a hunt?"Sam shrugged, not trying to pick a fight. John really hadn't had a choice and Dean and Sam had been moved from motel room to motel room, so Sam really couldn't guess what was going through Dean's mind

"Oh, Hell no." Dean said automatically, "She's staying here where it's safe." Sam quirked a brow at Dean.

"You've talked to Cas about it already?" Sam asked slowly.

"What do you mean? What other option is there?" Dean scoffed and stood straighter, wiping his hands on a rag.

"Well, Cas doesn't seem like the type to sit around and baby sit." Sam said. He'd been watching for the past few days and the tension was obvious; at least on Castiel's end. They didn't often crowd Bobby's house like this, but with the Apocalypse, a prepubescent being brought into the world, and searching for the rings to lock Lucifer away they were all pretty packed in one spot.

"Well, she's not coming with us." Dean said firmly, "It'd be safer for them both to stay here. Cas isn't exactly full capacity either."

Sam glanced at the house again, remembering how Castiel had been so wrecked the first few days back. He was still resting often, but he was up and moving, which was a plus, "Is he still sleeping?"

"Should be." Dean commented and dumping the rag onto the toolbox near by. He looked from the house to Sam, "Mind getting Miah to come out here? I want to see how her little sponge mind can memorize an engine." Sam rolled his eyes but he stood up, laying the screw driver back into the tool box.

"Yeah, sure." Sam meandered towards the house. He thought of calling Gabriel; at least before he left for the case. The ring was burning in his pocket since he'd dug it out of Dean's bag. And Sam fingered his phone in his pocket; He missed the archangel, he hadn't seen the man since their date.

Sam turned into the living room and ended up not needing to send the text. Gabriel was there in the living room and explaining things to Nemamiah about what was on the TV. And for some reason, Bobby's old TV set was now a flat screen on the wall. Sam didn't recognize the show, but it was a cartoon. Nemamiah had gotten a few tank tops so her wings could easily push past the thin straps to freedom. She was slowly learning to keep them tucked in around the house; she had a habit of knocking over stacks of Bobby's books. But they were out now, curled neatly to her back as she was looking at the archangel.

"You see, cartoons are not to be taken seriously." Gabriel was saying, gesturing to the screen, "They're all symbolic interpretations that humans have and they make them into entertainment." Sam raised an eyebrow. He'd never heard Gabriel sound so... well, smart. He was the Trickster and all, but he seemed comfortable with explaining it to Nemamiah.

"But why do their limbs stretch outside the realms of reality?" Nemamiah tried to emulate with her own arm, but it would not stretch and she looked frustrated with it. Gabriel chuckled and Sam smiled, leaning in the doorway to the living room.

"Because, there are certain rules of physics that you don't really have control over here." Gabriel gestured airily, "There are places where these rules don't exist, but not here." Nemamiah pursed her lips together, processing it, "Certain beings, such as myself, can make a sub-space where I can have any rules I want. But that's mostly because I've had tons of practice, and also because I'm super awesome."

"I want to be super-awesome." Nemamiah stated, straightening up and Gabriel ruffled her short dark hair.

"You are super-awesome." Gabriel grinned as he leaned in to tickle her again and Nemamiah's wings and arms flailed backwards so as not be tickled again by her uncle. Sam snorted a bit of a laugh, making both of them look up. Gabriel gave Sam a cheeky smile.

"Your dad wants to show you how a car works, Miah." Sam stood up from the door frame and Nemamiah hopped off of the couch and headed towards the door.

"Okay, Uncle Sam." She skirted by him, the edge of her wing catching him in the leg. Sam winced because it hit solid; more than one would expect, "Sorry!" She called from behind and continued outside. Gabriel chuckled and waved Sam over to the couch.

"They hit harder than they look." Sam rubbed his thigh and hobbled over carefully. Gabriel folded his arms behind his head, leaning back as Sam sat down.

"Well, wings can fly us any where we like, toot-sweet." Gabriel cocked a grin at Sam. "You know, playing uncle is kinda fun." Sam smiled a bit.

"Uncle Gabriel." Sam tried out the sound of it.

"Got a nice ring to it, uh?" Gabriel placed his hand over Sam's thigh, which was over the bruise. Sam scoffed.

"Not at Bobby's." Sam protested and Gabriel stuck out his tongue at Sam.

"Okay, I can replace the bruise if you want but you never seemed like the masochistic type to me." Gabriel removed his hand and Sam blinked dumbly for a moment, but realized the pain in his leg was gone. "Not physically anyway. Emotionally might be another topic all together..."

"You can heal?" Sam asked and paused, as though remembering who he was talking to. He ran his fingers through his hair, "Of course you can heal. Angel..."

"I might be rusty, but I can kiss your boo-boos away if I feel like it." Gabriel leaned back cockily, crossing his legs and taking up more room on the couch. Sam felt a swell of excitement.

"You could heal Bobby's legs..." Sam concluded.

"I don't feel like it." Gabriel returned without a hitch.

Sam was stunned a moment and Gabriel seemed unconcerned with his own answer. He was looking Sam up and down, thinking. Sam gave him a confused look, "But... it would really help us out? Him out..."

"Okay, yes, I could, but I don't want to." Gabriel waved his hand around airily, "Besides, what is Zach gonna say if he finds Bobby can suddenly walk? Cas can't do it. I managed to wipe the memories of the angels chasing me, so I'm officially back under witness protection. Besides, he looks good in the chair. Kind of gives him the reason to be so paranoid and crotchity..."

"Gabriel, please?" Sam tried nicely but Gabriel just rolled his eyes.

"Sam, you can't just bat your eyelashes at me and expect me to swoon every time. Cas has a horrible crush on your bro and all, but I have some pride and sense." Gabariel folded his arms and leaned back against the couch.

"Please? It would really mean a lot to me?" Sam gave Gabriel a steady, pleading look.

Gabriel's head rolled back, "For the love of dad..." there was a moment, he was considering it. Sam could tell, "Nope, still don't feel like it." Sam sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Gabriel eyed him and brought up his feet to rest in Sam's lap, "Look, you and Dean are exceptions that I've made lots of times. I'm not going to fix all your problems for you."

"It's just that-"

"How 'bout no? I don't think I've given you a straight no, yet. So, no."

"He doesn't have much, and Zachariah taking his legs-"

"Nope. Nada. _Nien. Iie. Net_..."

"It really makes him immobile and hunters need-"

"Sam, I'm not doing it."

"Mobility." Sam sighed. Gabriel's eyes were on the ceiling.

"You ask a lot from me." Gabriel stated, ankles crossing over Sam's lap. Sam took a deep breath, "Look, he's not dead. Not in any life threatening situation. Not drinking demon blood. Not doing it." Sam gave him a long narrow stare and Gabriel glanced at him, "Oh, stop it. I'm not doing it. I will go home if you keep bringing it up." Sam's hand fiddled with the denim of Gabriel's pants over his shin.

"Fine, fine..." Sam let it rest for now, but he knew if he persisted enough, Gabriel would do it, "I had something for you anyway." He dug his hand into his pocket and fished for the golden band

"Mm?" Gabriel rested his elbows beside him on the arm of the couch. Sam pinched War's ring between his fingers and held it up. Gabriel eyed it, then looked at Sam.

"I told you I had a ring." Sam smiled a bit nervously.

Gabriel smiled back calmly, "Got a promise you want to make, Sam?"

"Yeah." Sam breathed and Gabriel stretched his left hand towards Sam. Sam slipped the ring onto the ring finger and held the archangel's hand in both of his, "I love you and I don't want to lose you again." Sam gave a dry, nervous laugh, "I... I'm not sure if it's a promise or not, but I want you to be mine. And I want to be yours." Sam took a deep breath, "For as long as possible." Gabriel smiled, more genuinely than usual.

"Sounds good to me." Gabriel dropped his feet from Sam's lap and leaned forward to kiss Sam's lips. Sam smiled, sinking into the lips of the archangel. Gabriel's fingers weaved into Sam's hair and pulled him in deeper and closer. Sam leaned into it, eyes closing...

"Damn it, I said no makin' out on the couch!" Bobby rolled in in his chair from the kitchen, casting them both a nasty glare. Sam sat bolt upright and Gabriel stayed half sprawled out on the other half of the couch. Gabriel huffed.

"It's not like we were having sex." Gabriel grumbled.

"Yer not doin' that anywhere on my property." Bobby folded his arms. Sam held his head, feeling how hot his face was and Bobby rolled back to finish making his phone calls, grumbling under his breath.

"See, crotchity old bastard." Gabriel smiled and stole a kiss before he pushed himself up, "And I'd better get going before he starts thinking like you." He grinned at Sam, "We'll consummate your promise later." Sam crinkled his nose at Gabriel, still embarrassed about getting caught.

"Yeah, okay." Sam finally agreed, "And I wanted to let you know we're going to be going on a case soon."

"Have fun," Gabriel smiled, and gave Sam one more kiss, "Kill things, all that jazz." He gave a final grin before he flew off.


End file.
